Boundaries

[MissViolett]

14 hours ago, arlington297765 said:

She’s a sub she has no say

If you really mean that you are NOT looking for a Sub... You are looking for a victim!!! You give male Doms a bad name!

[MistressWhipplash]

I don't message submissives they message me and I don't pick swap either. Nor talk kink or relationship stuff as the first topic : it smells desperate and I don't touch desperate in any form.

Remember a random submissive isn't your submissive. They are a human being who hasn't given any form of consent.

It goes both ways, I don't consent to photos or rude in my inbox. I believe it takes several polite, non-kink messages to build a mutual report. Rapor still doesn't mean consent for anything to occur. Ordinary chat about music, favourite place to go out to should be discussed.
Pushy gets blocked. I am the Dominant of my own time, and decided who to give attention to.

I also don't believe the submissive has the power. As a Dominant Woman Sadist once a long-term relationship is established where we mutually consent I am the Captain of the ship, daily stuff, including in the bedroom I hold the reins to. My two slaves accept that because I consider all needs.
I'm in authority daily. I am a non-mono Dominant.

No wonder you keep deleting your account if you are ignoring limits.

Edited April 19 by MistressWhipplash

[ti****]

A lot of these comments… eh.. a True Dom knows pushing boundaries is ok.. breaking them is not. Possession (the sub willingly giving you control trusting you to take care of them until they are whole again) is how it should be.

Some of these comments by people that think they act as a dom really don’t get it.

Controlling to control is one sided, it’s ego driven. (even as master/slave dynamic there is trust) Please, do us all a favor and Check your ego before making a comment to a dynamic that is about trust and respect. Clearly you have forgotten one of these.

To the OP your sub has every right to voice to you how they feel. If your dynamic is relying on two way respect (it seems that it does) communicate how you both feel.

[Katspei]

Honestly, I feel that I agree with you (that you acted hastily). Certainly your actions re-in***d the trust of your primary sub, and that is a good thing. However, I think the appropriate move would have been to discuss the method of remediation with your primary. This is because from my point of view, any time a boundary is crossed or threatened, it needs to be discussed.

As a Dom, even though you were not the Dom of the sub who crossed the boundary, I believe it is proper to offer the opportunity for them to learn more about what they did, why it was wrong, and have an open dialogue regarding the action.

Everyone enters the scene with different levels of experience, especially when it comes to subs. It is possible that they lacked clarity on why a boundary like that might be a hard line not to cross. There are a number of possibilities as to why she took that action, some naive, some malicious, and its not possible to understand which it was without communication.

What is possible to understand is that she shared something intimate and private. In the case that it was a misunderstanding on her part, not only might she be left confused, but also hurt.

All that being said, the first step is to discuss these things with your primary and come to a decision how to handle it, because in the end it was a boundary shared by the both of you as a couple that was crossed, your primary's opinion and feelings at the very least deserve to be included in the decision you come to, not simply assumed.

[lo****]

Speaking as a submissive, yes you acted in haste deleting the profile, but your sub would have appreciated the quick action to fix a boundary breach, profiles are easy to undelete, trust is not

[my****]

If it was unsolicited, where is the problem? If you were jacking off to it and she caught you, or if you went on about what you would do to that person who sent the pic that would be a line. If the sub had an account she would likely have hundreds of dong pics. You would only have reason to delete your profile if it didn’t state that you were in a committed relationship. Otherwise you don’t have trust. A Ds relationship without trust is just kinky sex.

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, lockednleaking said:

Speaking as a submissive, yes you acted in haste deleting the profile, but your sub would have appreciated the quick action to fix a boundary breach, profiles are easy to undelete, trust is not

Thanks for the reassurance!!! Maintaining Trust is my main priority.

[Deleted Member]

10 hours ago, MistressWhipplash said:

I don't message submissives they message me and I don't pick swap either. Nor talk kink or relationship stuff as the first topic : it smells desperate and I don't touch desperate in any form.

Remember a random submissive isn't your submissive. They are a human being who hasn't given any form of consent.

It goes both ways, I don't consent to photos or rude in my inbox. I believe it takes several polite, non-kink messages to build a mutual report. Rapor still doesn't mean consent for anything to occur. Ordinary chat about music, favourite place to go out to should be discussed.
Pushy gets blocked. I am the Dominant of my own time, and decided who to give attention to.

I also don't believe the submissive has the power. As a Dominant Woman Sadist once a long-term relationship is established where we mutually consent I am the Captain of the ship, daily stuff, including in the bedroom I hold the reins to. My two slaves accept that because I consider all needs.
I'm in authority daily. I am a non-mono Dominant.

No wonder you keep deleting your account if you are ignoring limits.

I didn’t my account once in haste, I did it to re in ***, trust.

No boundaries had been crossed on my behalf!

My sub was in her feelings. She felt a little sensitive and the message had took her by surprise. It wasn’t expected.

What happened was a good thing. How I doubt with it was even better. By deleting my account without hesitation. Strengthen the trust within my dynamic.


It was in haste. But afterwards it had given us time to talk and discuss the nature of these things.

Things happen for a reason.

The sub that messaged me apologised for sending the images after I explained why it was called. I agree with your statement regards to her actions but I hope she went away with her feelings still in tact.

It’s experiences like these that show us, who we are and what we’re truly about.

[Deleted Member]

Saturday at 11:16 AM, kinkysense said:

Cahnge the sub.

All relationships take work, to quit on my sub would be like quitting on myself.

[Laycette]

Sunday at 04:17 AM, Rigger-Dom said:

Not every submissive is subservient or a slave.

Right and slaves are often strong, assertive, capable and not obsequious. But we need to be obedient, respectful and honour the dynamic, not lay down the law. We follow the rules, not make them.

[ey****]

On 4/18/2026 at 11:15 AM, Rigger-Dom said:

I recently deleted an account due to my sub feeling a boundary has been crossed. She wasn’t happy with an unsolicited image sent viva message. I replied to the message by explaining the situation.

I’m a strong believer that the sub holds all the power within the dynamic. So I deleted the account. As a Dom was this wrong of me or should I have discussed the issue deeper.

My reasons for the deleting the account was to maintain trust within the dynamic?

The fact you crossed a boundary is a prime example of why... well.... if the sub really had all the power you wouldn't have been able to send an unsolicitated picture in the first place. You're basically saying it's all her fault because she has the power, right?

Just take some responsibility and accountability for fucks sake. 

[Ft****]

Very complex psychological topic, because actually defining BDSM roles … well are complicated and the DSM-5 only outlines the criteria and not the true motivation. Add an actual relationship and now you have two potentially colliding worlds with the same person that often differ from each and also different emotional needs of each in both of these mostly separate worlds we live in.