How can I get to know my sub more?

[Ms****]

Hi all who choose to read this…

I don’t know how but hey, I’ve now gotten myself into a position where I could take ownership of a Male Submissive.

Due to a negative past experience I had opted not to delve into this again but I guess over time my feelings have changed and I am slowly beginning to like the idea of once again having an obedient young man worship me how I pls and suit.

Soooo.

Can any of you please suggest any ideas on how I can get to know my sub some more??
I am thinking lunch dates, park dates, clothes shopping.

(I use the word date very carefully as I am not after anything romantic. I also suggest clothes shopping as I would want my sub to have an attire similar to that of mine for when we eventually attend CFNM parties. If I look good then he must look good also.)

I’m sure there are many who can offer advice on this topic.

Have you any ideas for me?

Thank you in advance…

Msbigbrown

[Ki****]

Lunch and park dates are always good. Maybe try doing something more intimate as well as sometimes people act different behind closed doors

[Deleted Member]

@Msbigbrown I wanna tell you from a sub perspective. I like to meet my Mistress in Public Place such as coffee shop or the park. Have a normal chat to see if we are compatible and whether She likes me. Then if everything was ok I like my Mistress clearly tell me OK I think you are the right sub for me so we can get started from there.

[musubu]

A great way to get to know more about a potential play partner or sub is to get them to fill in a bdsm checklist. This will give you a much better idea of there likes, dislikes, soft and hard limits.
They are fairly easy to find if you internet search the term.

[Barrow-1573]

Maam is it fem Dom or true dom when girl doesnt need mony

[Ms****]

[Ms****]

7 hours ago, musubu said:

A great way to get to know more about a potential play partner or sub is to get them to fill in a bdsm checklist. This will give you a much better idea of there likes, dislikes, soft and hard limits.
They are fairly easy to find if you internet search the term.

I like this idea. However I had written my own checklist and questionnaire a few years ago and now will update it etc and ask him to fill it in. Thank you!!

[Ms****]

4 hours ago, Barrow said:

Maam is it fem Dom or true dom when girl doesnt need mony

With this submissive it will be a nurturing situation. Therefore I will take responsibility for atleast 80% of the finance for the duration of our d/s relationship. He can contribute towards parties and outings and any toys or equipment he may want that i do not already have.

[Ms****]

[ey****]

I'm interjecting myself here - so a lot of this is a lot of how I might like things which might not work for yourself or for other subs.

But...

Personally speaking that, yes, I would want a Dominant who has an interest in getting to me, as I would them.   When I was with my Mistress, things we would do - it kinda, started by playing and then going out for a coffee or lunch afterwards.   We kept in touch semi-regular via email and - this was almost a kinda pre-point to the relationship.

Once we started to formalise stuff we would speak most days - the minimum was just swapping Good Morning/Night messages, but some days this drove conversation - we were having phone chats every few weeks when we weren't seeing each other.

We had talked about me going through to her home for dinner one night.  

I feel, the important thing is you don't have to rush.  You don't need to go from 0 to full ownership in 6 weeks with someone you've not met yet, especially if this has had problems in the past - fittingly if someone cannot accept that this will be a lengthily process that will involve a lot of 'vanilla' interactions and not just be about play or their cock - then they weren't suitable to be owned in the first place.

[Ms****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'm interjecting myself here - so a lot of this is a lot of how I might like things which might not work for yourself or for other subs.

But...

Personally speaking that, yes, I would want a Dominant who has an interest in getting to me, as I would them.   When I was with my Mistress, things we would do - it kinda, started by playing and then going out for a coffee or lunch afterwards.   We kept in touch semi-regular via email and - this was almost a kinda pre-point to the relationship.

Once we started to formalise stuff we would speak most days - the minimum was just swapping Good Morning/Night messages, but some days this drove conversation - we were having phone chats every few weeks when we weren't seeing each other.

We had talked about me going through to her home for dinner one night.  

I feel, the important thing is you don't have to rush.  You don't need to go from 0 to full ownership in 6 weeks with someone you've not met yet, especially if this has had problems in the past - fittingly if someone cannot accept that this will be a lengthily process that will involve a lot of 'vanilla' interactions and not just be about play or their cock - then they weren't suitable to be owned in the first place.

I totally get that.
I am very much interested in connecting with my sub. That is just my natural personality.
I would want to feel as though I am taking care of him, guiding him and teaching him. Etc etc