Dear s-types, did you know?

[AKA_Copper]

Following some bizarre comments on a few threads lately by a 'Dom'

Did you know that regardless as to whether you're in a dynamic, considering a dynamic with someone or on a kink site like this just having some fun, looking around, learning about yourself you can...

Ask questions
Not like things
Have needs
Negotiate for those needs to be met
Have boundaries and expect these to be respected
Have limits, also have these respected
Want to talk about feelings, and be given the opportunity to do so
Have an opinion and voice it
Say no and for that to be enough without a reason

There have been times I've been asked why I won't submit to someone and I've thought to myself, 'am I submissive enough?', afterall, why aren't I submissive all the time if thats how I identify?

Your submission isn't earn't, your trust is.
Your submission is yours to give the person/people you choose, not some rando who wants it just because.
You are submissive enough and you will be for the right person but, your submission doesn't remove your choice, your autonomy or agency.

[Ve****]

👌🏼

[Deleted Member]

This needs to be listed as "Subbie Guide 101". I know there are "Dominants" out there that complain that subbies are getting too full of themselves, expecting too much, topping from the bottom, whatever the hell you want to call it..but seriously guys and gals...anything worth having is worth working for..you think I got these stunning good looks by by being impatient? :)

[ge****]

Sadly there *can* be a huge misconception by many on both sides of the coin - usually either new to the scene, or who have been misguided somehow, where they believe what they "should" be like without having given it time for thought for themselves and figured out their own definition.

How often do we see phrases like "true sub" or "I'm dominant so you do what I say" and frankly it's dangerous.

Which is why posts like yours are so important CopperKnob

[Leisa]

You want my respect, earn it. Respect me and I’ll respect you. Until there is mutual respect there can be no submission. You want submission, show me you’re worth giving it to.

[Bimatic]

There's a difference between Domming someone and just being a controlling, abusive a-hole.

I've thought it for a while, some people in the scene, 99% of them are Doms (not 99% of Doms, just to be clear ) take themselves far too seriously and forget everyone is supposed to go away feeling happy and fulfilled in some way. 

Did wonder if that made me a crap Dom, not acting like an entitled super alpha male but if it does, so be it 

[myshaal56]

i am naturally submissive, but until i fully trust a new DOMINATRIX,  i will not submit to everything that might have in mind.