Aftercare

[Deleted Member]

How many of you doms, subs and partners do aftercare for your partner and yourself. I feel like aftercare is so looked over now and doesn't happen.

[Deleted Member]

Aftercare is very important to me

[typhoon2]

It's important enough to be a key part of initial negotiations as far as I'm concerned. Whether a cuppa and a jaffa cake or cuddles or texts for several days afterwards, I want them to get through sub drop as ***essly as possibe.

[ey****]

I think if anything; aftercare is talked about far more than it used to be

[Deleted Member]

Thats quite a sweeping statement & judgement that aftercare is just overlooked & doesn't happen & gives the total wrong impression as, yes there are those that don't do it but that doesn't mean no ones gives aftercare, as a lot do.

There has been a surge in the interest in BDSM in recent times from certain influences & maybe your opinion could be true of a number of them jumping on the bandwagon without doing their research, learning & truly understanding but that doesn't make the majority of people like that.

[Deleted Member]

Every time, without fail, no exceptions, just cuddles and kisses ☺️

[Deleted Member]

46 minutes ago, BDSMkinkydom said:

Thats quite a sweeping statement & judgement that aftercare is just overlooked & doesn't happen & gives the total wrong impression as, yes there are those that don't do it but that doesn't mean no ones gives aftercare, as a lot do.

There has been a surge in the interest in BDSM in recent times from certain influences & maybe your opinion could be true of a number of them jumping on the bandwagon without doing their research, learning & truly understanding but that doesn't make the majority of people like that.

Yes I find most people who are new to the bdsm world find they haven't researched into but do learn it , which is good and obviously everyone's choice whether to have aftercare or not or even how you go about it

[My****]

100% of the time

[Master50]

Aftercare is one of the most inportant thing in this lifestyle. Aftercare is holding on and asking if the person is ok. If u cut or break the skin u should was it down or bandage it up. Hold there hand and make them feel loved. Take the person to get nails and hair done. Buy them a gift like roses out of the blue and so on. 

 

That's speacial aftercare. 

[Deleted Member]

Aftercare is different for every person and situation, you can’t apply broad statements, or apply the same response each time.
Each time I’ve been in the aftercare stage it’s been different, sometimes it’s just let go do something fun together.
Sometimes in this *** state deep discussions occur, things are figured out. Sometimes all it is the warmth of togetherness, and talking and laughing.
There is definitely not a one answer fits all situations though.
What it always is: uplifting, reassuring and positive.

[Master50]

Agree but in all aspects of aftercare depends on who's giving it and how much they understand. I don't think most people understand aftercare or know how to give it. 

 

I was saying what I do and handle aftercare. I always give lots of love. 

[Deleted Member]

I always do it for littles and subs I have!

[Deleted Member]

Aftercare is a must as with making sure you don’t over step your boundaries

[Fetishlover45]

For me aftercare is more of a trust related thing, as it shows that the dom cares about the sub not just physically but mentally as well.

It doesent have to be much as it obviously depends on the specific situation/ those involved. I can only speak for myself but when you get the (very rare) chance to do dom/ sub stuff.

You look forward to it, there is a growing sense of anticipation, your mind races with all the possibilities and what you can do with each other.

Then as the time comes you get nerves, dry mouth and butterflies feeling in the pit of your stomach

 

Then all too soon its over and you have no idea when or even if there will be another experience. So you get a serious feeling of anti climax, disappointment/ frustration its over.

So a cuppa afterwards or even a few messages in the following couple of days makes all the difference and help process everything that happened  

[Deleted Member]

The mental side of things is a big thing you should never feel left or dropped but know where things will go if it’s a one time thing or a regular practice knowing where you stand is the best thing

[Po****]

Honestly for me after-care seems to be a much more longer affect than the actual act of fun short my last over a minute cause of hours but after care you feel more see lm a overstimulation Dom so I do allot of ***d orgasms, degrading mind break ect so when I do my after-care I’m essentially bringing back the logical mindset of somebody that I have ***d into a cage of pleasure. My after-care is usually talking to the person cuddling them watching something playing something reminding them who they are depending how far they are gone, talking about the events that led up to this what happened to them what they experienced who I am who they are and I’m onto a stable level it’s cuddles kisses hair stroking tickles laughs ect 

[Deleted Member]

Aftercare is so important and is a need for any relationship

[Go****]

I do after care , because it’s very important for my subs

[Am****]

Aftercare is very important I like cuddling kissing romantic slow down or like holding hands watching a moving or joking around. I do anything she needs in aftercare to try and make this fun time happen again

[na****]

What is aftercare and why is it important?

[ey****]

1 hour ago, natural-bridge140 said:

What is aftercare and why is it important?

to try to keep it short.  It's the transition back between play/scene and reality

it can include but not limited to

- patching up physical wounds

- encouragement and reassurance (especially if using degrading or humiliating language. you don't really think they're worthless)

- navigating subdrop (play releases a lot of endorphins, exiting play can cause these to crash) 

[Deleted Member]

Never found a dom that does it

[Deleted Member]

On 12/23/2021 at 8:06 PM, GoddessKaycc said:

I do after care , because it’s very important for my subs

perhaps for us as dominants too.

I find it very important for maintaining a deep connection with my sub to actively demonstrate my nurturing side. its the perfect way for both/all of us to balance the *** and the passion of the act with some affectionate peaceful time 

[Deleted Member]

On 12/23/2021 at 12:05 PM, MrOverstimulater said:

Honestly for me after-care seems to be a much more longer affect than the actual act of fun short my last over a minute cause of hours but after care you feel more see lm a overstimulation Dom so I do allot of ***d orgasms, degrading mind break ect so when I do my after-care I’m essentially bringing back the logical mindset of somebody that I have ***d into a cage of pleasure. My after-care is usually talking to the person cuddling them watching something playing something reminding them who they are depending how far they are gone, talking about the events that led up to this what happened to them what they experienced who I am who they are and I’m onto a stable level it’s cuddles kisses hair stroking tickles laughs ect 

So very true!!! I am the same and what you state cover my perspective 100% 

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Soksy said:

Never found a dom that does it

I am very sorry to hear that, Soksy. I understand from your profile that you don't do the play purely for its fun. You are a person that wants the emotional connection that goes with the act. 
Not being offered aftercare is wrong on all possible levels. Perhaps they weren't worthy of having you as their sub and the compliment you made to them!