Outline of a scene.

[Deleted Member]

I really need help I confess, I think I may have found someone who I click with and want to embark on this journey properly. 

I have been honest about my experience but wish to know the basic outline of a scene from inspection throughout. 

I don't much want to disappoint a sub and want to be the best I can be. Strangely this person has already made me raise my game. 

 

Books on being a Dom too any recommendations? 

 

Many thanks in advance. 

[Jed]

I think the first recommendation I can make is there is no fixed formula/rulebook, secondly what works for one is no guarantee to work for another, the single biggest thing you both need to do is communicate, find your balance point between comfortable and what needs to be pushed explored. If you have that mindset of control already and your sub is allowing an inner Dom emerge your already on the right path. Scenes themselves can take varying degrees of intensity dependant on your communication, find out limits, agree passages of play and the boundaries set, but most importantly think about aftercare, think about how you will both need time to chill and relax in each other after your scene, making note of how your sub feels and reacts is hugely important and sets the cornerstones for your dynamic. Your journey can be a beautiful free flowing memory filled journey and it's the communication that builds the base for all of this. I wish you both well in your journey and keep asking questions, this is how we all Grow. Jed

[BigPolly]

Talk, talk & talk & when you’ve done talking then talk some more! Communication is the biggest starting point. You need to get an idea of eachothers likes & dislikes, limits, fetishes etc then there is no actual path/scenario to follow, you simply build the pathway as you go respecting each other every step of the way, throwing in a few extras & testing new limits each time. As long as you both have fun & enjoy yourselves the rest will follow. You don’t need experience just approach the play with a degree of confidence. She has chosen to submit to you for a reason, take her gift of submission & use it in a way that pleasures you both beyond words 😊

[BigPolly]

Sorry @Jed we must’ve written our replies at the same time as mine mirrors yours. I wrote a bit at the bottom of mine about Aftercare then deleted it. 😬

[Jed]

@BigPolly I think we did hun....but we're both singing the same tune which hopefully helps @Method....Communication is the key to the door!!!!!

Much love as always @BigPolly x

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for the advise 👌

Are there any books though that are good and informative too? Maybe from both a Dominant and submissive perspective?

 

[3S****]

I would google any questions you have as it's likely you'll find reading material that way. Even if it's just blogs, forums,  or advice pages.

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, 3SumQueen said:

I would google any questions you have as it's likely you'll find reading material that way. Even if it's just blogs, forums,  or advice pages.

Yeah I have been reading some interesting blogs but there's something I like about a good book, maybe I have a book fetish 🤔😂

[3S****]

Lol ,maybe you have.
I haven't read anything myself personally, not got the concentration for long books any more.

[Deleted Member]

I have to say. I'm not sure I've come across any advice books for Doms and subs in my travels (one of my other jobs is as an author) but there's lots of great advice out there online for free. 

Best way to get it though, is to meet people and talk to them. It's  a lot easier to give specific advice then too :)

[Deleted Member]

Dominant guide and submissive guide online are both great compendiums of information,  discussion and insight... good luck

🔥

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, VictoriaBlisse said:

I have to say. I'm not sure I've come across any advice books for Doms and subs in my travels (one of my other jobs is as an author) but there's lots of great advice out there online for free. 

Best way to get it though, is to meet people and talk to them. It's  a lot easier to give specific advice then too :)

Yeah I like chatting to people here and I hope to get to my local munch if life ever allows, never been to one before but sounds like the thing to do. 

 

[Jed]

Read the Story of O.....a thoroughly good read and very informative.

[Fimus]

Sit your sub down, go through as many subjects as you can think of (the fetish list on here will help) and ask them what their limits are for each. You will get some "hard limits" - never, ever cross those. You will get some "soft limits" - do not even think about crossing those until you have explored plenty of other things first. Within the limits, your sub has - in effect - consented that you can do whatever you wish. Most subs want to be surprised - knowing what is going to happen kind of creates a sense of control that can spoil things for the sub. So, take those limits and - almost randomly - pick things to do. Start with what turns you on the most, because that more you enjoy it, the better the chance that your sub will too. These are the words of a sub; I do not claim to speak for all subs

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Method said:

Yeah I like chatting to people here and I hope to get to my local munch if life ever allows, never been to one before but sounds like the thing to do. 

 

Definitely, munches are great places to meet other kinksters :)