Dom being distant

[Deleted Member]

Mine did that to me once. I still had to send him photos and messages tho. I was able to see that he received them. So I still had the knowledge that he was giving me some attention, but that was the worst punishment by far.

[ma****]

it's never okay. taking away objects of comfort/safespaces/attention from your dom is never okay.

[Sc****]

I've always feel ignoring a sub is more of cruel or neglect instead of an punishment, to me that's just shows lack of cares and laziness but that's my point of view so I don't know if its normal for others or what

[Ij****]

I think it is fairly common but I personally don't get the appeal coming from the Dom side. And also using it to stall an argument seems like a bad use of a punishment. Granted this is without context but punishments should not stop honest communication

[BigPolly]

Ignoring someone is one of the worst feelings ever. To me personally it’s not a punishment, it’s beyond that enough for me to set it as a hard limit if it came to it.
If it makes you uncomfortable to the point when you’re not happy with it then speak out & put a stop to it by either stating it’s not on or set it as a limit.

[Blacksmith]

I suggest your Dom goes back to school and learns what respect and connection is all about. There are way better solutions than ignoring you. I am sure others on here will give some great and helpful advice. Hope you get a good resolution to your situation.

[Deleted Member]

For me, communication is key. I wouldn’t ignore me sub over an argument or disagreement. A Dom should take the lead and do what’s necessary to resolve the situation leaving everyone feeling heard and understood.

[Hu****]

I would never ignore on the contrary I'd keep you so busy

[Ax****]

There is a time a place and a type of sub that is designed for neglect punishments. I don't know your exact situation and my DMs are open if you wish to talk in detail privately but this sounds like it's either immature reaction to the argument or a healthy, for the Dom, distance created so they can get their thoughts straight and emotions in check in peace so they can approach the argument calmly and have an actual chance at a proper resolution. Again, those assumptions are based on very limited information and I would say the best way to approach this is to give it a few hours where you let him have his space and then address the distance in a questioning but not accusatory way. "Hey Dom. Are you the type of person that needs space to regroup and thoughts from time to time during arguments?" This is coming from someone that is a "work on it untill it's fixed" and has a sub that needs to step away for min or even hours to regroup from time to time. If they meet your question with aggression or pettiness then there is probably a lot more you both will need to talk about.

[Ar****]

Nope, definitely not normal. Or at least, sadly, whilst it seems normal behaviour for many wannabe controlling/manipulative types, no true Dom who actually cares or is worth his salt would do that to his sub.

[Da****]

No it is not normal in my opinion for a Dom to ignore his sub as punishment. I agree I hate having arguments and not being able to resolve the issue or at least talk about it to start that process.

[Deleted Member]

It’s normal behaviour for anyone that’s petulant and doesn’t understand how to hold together a functioning relationship/dynamic, or someone that lacks the aptitude to work through issues like a mature adult.

But abnormal to anyone that understands clear and continuous communication is the key to a healthy partnership; romantic or otherwise.

A distinct lack or termination of communication is never the answer.

Hope this helps. x

[ro****]

Ignore for how long? A few minutes maybe 15 tops. Is my limit during play. Having a fight with SO. I used to need more time to cool off. So I would be in a good place to resolve the argument. Let your Dom know that you need closure with a bit more alacrity.

[Deleted Member]

Every relationship will be different of course but in my opinion, ignoring someone can be used as a punishment, but only in certain circumstances. Like maybe my sub decided she didn't want to listen and try to be "cute and stubborn".

However, ignoring her when there is an actual issue at hand seems toxic imo.

The relationship between a dom and sub is still that. A relationship. And if one person is refusing to put forth the work to resolve actual issues, then that's an issue.

Again, every situation is different, but just because someone is submitting to their dom, does not mean they don't deserve to be respected in their relationship.

[Deleted Member]

It's never an acceptable punishment imo, and I see it as a toxic part of any relationship, let alone damaging to the very trust dependent relationship of a D/s dynamic

[ch****]

That just sounds immaturity and not BDSM.

[Deleted Member]

Imo it's cruel. If it hasn't been discussed previously and consented then it's emotional a*use. I get that done to me and then I just walk away. You're better than that.

[Deleted Member]

Sorry I completely miss read that no it is not okay to ignore you for punishment. They should talk to you and discuss what you did wrong and your punishment should be something more humane

[Az****]

That’s poor behaviour from your Dom. It erodes trust and confidence in one another.

[Deleted Member]

Ignoring or cold shoulder isn't the answer in any type of relationship. It falsely works, when a girl does it to her man,. Because he wants sex, he'll falsely apologize or buy her whatever etc ... Anyhow, it's not truly good. If you can't talk about things properly... time to move on. I'd treat you like a princess.

[do****]

If the roleplay of bdsm extends outside actual sex yes if not no

[Deleted Member]

Having a discussion, and then walking away without discussing the cause has nothing to do with leaving someone behind as punishment. It is childish and shows not only lack of vocabulary and communication skills but also wanting to be right at all costs. This kind of behavior is poison to any kind of relationship.

[Ca****]

No it's not

[Deleted Member]

No it’s not normal behaviour I must admit I went through that and later found out my hat I had depression so it was part of that , just talk to him and see if anything is bothering him . Just my opinion that’s all .

[Th****]

The silent treatment is just plain hurtful no matter who you are or what you're into. I really think when he's done with his pouty session you should have a serious conversation with him and let him know how you feel. Depending on how that conversation goes, it may or may not be time to rethink things. The entire dynamic is supposed to be all about communication and making sure everyone involved is comfortable. Your Dom should never leave you feeling anything but happy and fulfilled. Everyone has arguments. That's no reason to be punished.