"You'll Thank Me For This When You're Older"

[CopperKnob]

Was what my father said before striking me with his belt as a child.

It was used as a punishment in our household. It was either the belt or, for a more minor trangression, having your mouth washed out with soap

I preferred the belt.

I wasn't a hugely naughty child but it was a strict upbringing. We'd be made to lay face down on the bed having removed our underwear and we'd wait. That, I think was the worst part, the waiting. Ears trained for the sound of the belt being removed from the loops. Trying to figure out how quickly it would be over. The amount of strikes wouldn't have been disclosed but the worse the behaviour, the more there'd be which would give us some kind of indication. There'd always be an additional one, two or few if we cried. That very much depended on how quickly my father could say "stop crying, you'll only make it worse for yourself" because, there was no crying in our house.

After the belt, we'd be sat on the stairs to think about things before having "a conversation" to make sure we'd learnt the lesson. "The conversation" always ended with "you'll thank me for this when you're older" and a long hug.

But, do I?

Did being spanked with a belt as a child make me a better person?

Has it actually created something in me which caused vanilla relationships to fail because something was missing?

Reflecting, I don't recall being aroused/excited by the belt as a child. There was always nervous anticipation but I don't remember it being anything more than that.

So why is it that I find the idea of being spanked arousing as an adult?

Why is it that I have a bunch of hitty things in the cupboard?

My best bet right now is that it's not actually the spanking itself. More thought/unpicking may cause me to change my mind but right now, I think it's more about the caring side.

I recall two occassions I got the belt, running across the road infront of a vehicle was one, being caught skipping school was another.

I can't remember the specific conversation(s) which took place afterwards. Given the, "you'll thank me for this when you're older" statement each time and my parents love of rules, I imagine they would have been about the highway code and suceeding at school.

And then the hug.

Instead of seeing it as punishment which I most certainly did as a child, I think I'm reframing it to care giving. A spanking, I think, is given by someone who cares enough to help you correct/modify your behaviour and that's why I love the idea of it.

[Ch****]

Very touchy

[ge****]

Interesting and thought provoking as ever CK and something I can relate to albeit with different perspectives - I certainly love to be spanked and indeed there are times I positively crave it, likewise other implement related "punishments" - and I can relate a lot of that love back to a very young age, can even distinctly remember one situation involving peers and sapling twigs that I asked for.
.
Now here's the thing, apart from the odd short sharp shock spank when I was naughty that was without any "ceremony" the *only* person to spank me with the whole punishment ritual was actually someone (step-father) I despise to this day (not because of the spankings but other things he did to my family) - and he did so with a wooden spoon, which is something I'm still not sure I can bring myself to have used, despite seeing the potential it has.
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Either way despite the fact he was cruel, and am sure a lot of the time delivered it out of malice than true punishment, I still crave a spanking.

For me I think I came to the conclusion that to do so is almost sticking two fingers up at him symbolically by embracing it as I do. I also don't dwell on it too much for obvious reasons, and just accept that whatever the reason I like it.

[typhoon2]

A few playmates list belts as absolute hard limits. I've never enquired why but suspect a similar - if diometrically-opposed - family situation.

[CopperKnob]

9 minutes ago, typhoon2 said:

A few playmates list belts as absolute hard limits. I've never enquired why but suspect a similar - if diometrically-opposed - family situation.

I've never had a belt as a hard limit. I love the look of a man wearing a belt to finish off their outfit but I've never had anyone use one with me as an adult. I've never given it much thought, maybe a lack of opportunity(?)

[typhoon2]

@Copperknob I use a belt quite often, especially with playmates who especially enjoy it. The aesthetics and ominous intent of belts in Domly costume are great to build atmosphere, but definitely not with everyone.

[Deleted Member]

I think it is without doubt partly the care giving aspect but there is a subtle difference about how a spanking/belting (or other impact play) is perceived by the recipient.

I received the belt as a child, I’m not sure my dad actually wanted to do it but my mum told him he had to after telling us all day “just you wait until your father comes home”. Without doubt it was a punishment although as you suggest, delivered with love and intended to make you a better person by learning that being naughty would end up in some form of punishment – or the way your dad put, “you’ll thank for this when you’re older’ I suspect meaning that when you look back as an adult, you would believe that discipline as a child made you a better person. The main point being that it was delivered and received as a punishment, it hurt and wasn’t the sort of *** you enjoyed.

In kink, while there are the similarities of it being the same thing being delivered, with love (or at least it should be), and likely intended to train a sub a in one way or another, I think the main difference is that subs generally enjoy feeling *** - maybe to differing degrees - because they associate it with pleasure, be that in the act of receiving it or the aftercare. So although it’s the same physical thing, and we may call it punishment, I would suggest in the kink world it’s the opposite.

[Na****]

Too right

[Ar****]

Insightful and thought-provoking. I suspect you're probably right in your conclusion... ooooh I do love getting my teeth into a bit of self-analysis, mine or somebody else's 👀

[CopperKnob]

6 hours ago, Aranhis said:

Insightful and thought-provoking. I suspect you're probably right in your conclusion... ooooh I do love getting my teeth into a bit of self-analysis, mine or somebody else's 👀

I do enjoy the psychology of it

[ol****]

intresting, I was regularly thrashed when I was a child. Sometimes for things that required correction, often for minor things.

It's put me off hitty-things if anything.  Probably why D/s is more of a mental thing for me than a physical thing. 

[Vi****]

Very interesting indeed, I was hit with a shoe or hand and I hated it I'd feel pure anger towards my mother. There was never hugs afterwards just a feeling of resentment. 

Interestingly I would always fantasise about hitting her back although I never did. Perhaps it's why I don't like being submissive I prefer to be the one who wants to cause some ***. Ooooo misplaced anger issues. 

Good one Copper x

[CopperKnob]

I love how similar (yet somewhat different) experiences affect different people differently

[Deleted Member]

My mom had rules but they where lax but when I did break them oh boy watch out, not only did I get a belt but whatever she could grab at that time, she’d put me over her lap or a bed and smack me till I was almost bleeding. Always made sure I had some kinda scar but none that would last long. I’ve also had the soap in the mouth or some kind of spice. She’d also send me to my room without food don’t remember the sit downs though afterwords. All I know I was always in the hospital getting *** work or for some kinda ***. I was a klutz as a kid and still am. Could of been the *** she snuck into my food too. Riddelin plus the anti convulsing meds. All I know years later I got her back she never hit me again. But I still liked to be spanked during a scene