Dom Husband wants to include another female

[Deleted Member]

My dominant husband has told me he wants to meet other submissive women with me. I am fully submissive to him. 

I have told him he can meet other women if he wants without me. But he has said that he only wants to meet them with me for a 3some, and for me to find her. 

He has obviously said that we would both have to submit to him and do what he wants to him and do what he says to each other. I have never been with a woman, but I will do as he pleases. 

Has anyone had any experience with this? I want to find him what he wants, but don’t know where to begin. 

Edited March 13, 2023 by Deleted Member

[ey****]

basically.  no.

you both need to go away and rethink this.  The "sending the sub to find other subs" trope always comes across badly and struggles.   If he wants to find other subs HE has to find them so that he and them can weigh up compatability.

If this is looking for someone to be in any form of threesome then you both need to find together

[Perveropotente]

Hard...hard...depends on where you crossed the line, how much vocal you can be, whether your husband listens to you or not. If you feel and are submissive to the point you absolutely follow your husband, even against your own likings and acceptance, go for it. If you feel uncomfortable I think you should be more vocal about it. Being submissive doesn't mean blindly follow whatever and whoever. Question is, are you submissive only in the bedroom or in life also...?

[CopperKnob]

Yeah, being approached by a female sub gets my hackles up. Often because it's actually a male profile hiding behind the guise of a women because they 'think' people will be safer. You just need to research how many predators do this sort of thing to know it's a no go
If the male approaches, again it's an issue even if it were something I were interested in.
It has to be the both of you to ensure that the 3rd party is reassured it's something you both want in equal measure.

[Da****]

We have done this as a couple and continue to try to find somebody together I do the looking but my sub has a voice and who we meet because she's the one that needs more of a connection than I do but we both need a connection. Sorry for the lack of punctuation I'm using voice to text LOL but this is definitely something you both need to do together in my opinion. And take it slow don't be in a rush make sure you meet the person in public first and go from there but use your voice

[Ch****]

As someone who dates couples, speaking to both straight away is very important. I dont mind which approaches first but 3 way convo needs to start asap.

[QXX666]

Grooming type of attitude. You will get hard time to find someone that way. It’s unbelievable that a Dominant male have this behaviour 

[Leisa]

That’s an extremely personal choice. I couldn’t do it but I’m not poly and that’s the mindset you’d have to possess. I have tried it and determined that I don’t share and I definitely don’t want to be shared. Im enough.

[ar****]

You say you've never been with a woman, but you'll do as he pleases. Domplay aside, wouldn't you want to first be with a woman at your own pace to see if you are comfortable with such an interaction? You can always go for a 3some on the Dom's terms later, I would first make sure you are OK with another woman yourself personally before doing anything just to please the dom? You may need to set boundaries for the 3some, but won't know what they are yet?

[Deleted Member]

Has this been discussed in terms of it being a soft limit for you? Are you bisexual or heteroflexible? If not, I’d suggest negotiating first before jumping off in the deep end. This doesn’t sound like it’s a want or need of yours.

[Deleted Member]

If you were fully submissive, why didn’t you just say ‘yes, darling. Ok’

[CopperKnob]

3 hours ago, Alex10473 said:

If you were fully submissive, why didn’t you just say ‘yes, darling. Ok’

Because being submissive doesn't mean we're submissive 24/7 or to every eventuality. Nor does it mean we loose our agency.

[Ar****]

4 hours ago, Alex10473 said:

If you were fully submissive, why didn’t you just say ‘yes, darling. Ok’

Where does being submissive to him mean that she has to involve herself with other people? Where do you draw the line if he starts to request other things of her, like watching her get gangbanged by a dozen untested guys or asking her to brand/body modify herself? She's a woman, not a sex doll.

[CopperKnob]

33 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Where does being submissive to him mean that she has to involve herself with other people? Where do you draw the line if he starts to request other things of her, like watching her get gangbanged by a dozen untested guys or asking her to brand/body modify herself? She's a woman, not a sex doll.

Submissives are just meat don't you know? There to agree to everything anyone wants to do to us or agree to everything they want us to do 🙄

[Deleted Member]

Well that is what some subs on here would have you believe. But you would not believe the ‘horror’ stories I’ve heard on here from some who call themselves subs but who acted as though they had no mind at all.

[Leisa]

7 hours ago, Alex10473 said:

If you were fully submissive, why didn’t you just say ‘yes, darling. Ok’

Submissive doesn’t mean poly and it definitely doesn’t mean doormat

[Deleted Member]

To be submissive is to obey or yield to someone else. A definition from the internet. So if she is submissive she should yield. And if she doesn’t - then she is not a sub. Simple eh.

[Leisa]

9 minutes ago, Alex10473 said:

To be submissive is to obey or yield to someone else. A definition from the internet. So if she is submissive she should yield. And if she doesn’t - then she is not a sub. Simple eh.

There truly is one born every day. Obviously you’re not an ethical Dom, if that’s what you call yourself.

[Leisa]

17 minutes ago, Alex10473 said:

To be submissive is to obey or yield to someone else. A definition from the internet. So if she is submissive she should yield. And if she doesn’t - then she is not a sub. Simple eh.

I may have given you too much credit. Do you know the difference between TPE and submission?

[Deleted Member]

No I’m not a Dom that takes advantage of anyone. Everything I do is with true informed consent. Everything out in the open. Especially if I loved my partner. You must have a ***y good idea how people handle emotions such as jealousy, because situations like that will likely take a turn for the worse

[Deleted Member]

Jealousy does strange things to people, it even makes them kill. And I don’t take that lightly

[CopperKnob]

41 minutes ago, Alex10473 said:

No I’m not a Dom that takes advantage of anyone. Everything I do is with true informed consent. Everything out in the open. Especially if I loved my partner. You must have a ***y good idea how people handle emotions such as jealousy, because situations like that will likely take a turn for the worse

Nope. If you're expecting the response you initially commented then whilst you may suggest that everything you do is with informed, on the basis that you still have the expectation that's not wholly true. You have to walk the walk as well as talk it

[ey****]

for sake of argument.  if we're talking informed consent - then to be asked to find a partner for your Dominant when you didn't know this would be asked OR how to go about it - then it wasn't informed consent.