My first appointment with a professional dominatrix

[ShySubmissiveGuy]

I'm a virgin to the scene, I have never done this before. 

Since my early 20's I have fantasized about bdsm, but have never worked up the courage to let it be known or actually seek it. 

So fast forward to now, I'm in my early 40's and just feel like I have missed out on a lot by keeping this a secret. Finally I worked up the courage to search for a professional who fits what I'm in to and I actually found the right one I believe. I have passed the screening and my first appointment is scheduled about a week from now. I'm very excited (obviously) but also very very nervous about it as I don't know what to expect. Fetishes were discussed and boundries set in place but I'm still very nervous. 

I'm seeking some advice about how to get over these jitters somewhat, I won't totally and I realize that. 

[ey****]

whilst there is a lot of differences - I do remember the first time I saw a Professional.

I made it quite clear what my actual experience was and what would be new to me and that I was nervous.  We exchanged emails *most* nights between the request and the session - so she kept it at maximum one per day and this was just over a week period so I think we swapped just 5 mails.

Obviously also that people are different and I think she dealt with me pretty well all told - she kept the session within what we'd discussed/agreed with discussion afterwards on where we could go in the future : some may play it even safer than she did or some may be a bit more adventurous.  People have their own ideas

At the end of the day, anyone responsible will want you to have a good time and anyone business savvy will want you to come back - especially if you're fun/decent.    

I feel, being persistent with contact will be off-putting to her, but do open communication with concerns especially via a channel where it's clear she can respond in her own time. 

[ShySubmissiveGuy]

Comforting advice thank you for the reply. 

I just keep telling myself she's a professional, just relax and have fun. But I'm just one of those people who are wired to worry about everything constantly. 

I agree with your advice about persistent contact, in fact I'm striving to not contact her at all until the session. I undestand she's busy and has other clients. 

Prior to the session was there anymore discussion about your limits or anything like that? 

[Deleted Member]

Also remember mind over matter. Remember they are human like us and have jobs like us. If you look at it like a regular meeting with a person and not just this woman who is gonna do whatever.....it might make you feel a little more comfortable

[Deleted Member]

Good for you for putting your ***s aside and going for what you want. I hope you have fun. Just relax and enjoy, try to really take in all the senses, sight, smell, taste, and touch. Just let go... let it take you over.

[ey****]

I find one of the things with limits is that they're not exhaustive.  It's best to only really raise limits if it's something you feel she may be likely to do.  You can also always (respectfully) say 'no' at any point.   Especially in a first session most will work from a "whitelist" (what has expressly been discussed) rather than avoiding a blacklist - but - it depends on what your limits are...  so, if it's say, co-erced bi : this isn't going to happen, she isn't going to suddenly spring out another guy.... but, if your limit is, I dunno, foot fetish, that can be a common trope.

[Mi****]

Its fairly normal to be nervous the first time you try anything new so dont worry too much about nerves. As a pro domme she is probably used to dealing with nervous clients so she should be able to put you at ease when you arrive

[Deleted Member]

How did you find your professional Dom?

[ey****]

2 hours ago, Mjf said:

How did you find your professional Dom?

as the OP is US based his answer may be a little different.  But, in the UK - google is your friend - and twitter to gain a little idea behind some can help - it's helped me research a couple of people I've plans with.   

Funnily enough, my plans take me to your neck of the woods - there's a good choice of ladies local to you and who tour near to where you are.  

[ShySubmissiveGuy]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

as the OP is US based his answer may be a little different.  But, in the UK - google is your friend - and twitter to gain a little idea behind some can help - it's helped me research a couple of people I've plans with.   

Funnily enough, my plans take me to your neck of the woods - there's a good choice of ladies local to you and who tour near to where you are.  

Pretty much the same technique I used. I used google to search and then searched their social media to verify if they were real or not. 

Take your time, don't rush it and read their website. Make sure what they're offering is what you're into before you make contact. 

[ShySubmissiveGuy]

And by the way, I want to thank everyone for their feedback on this subject.

I am much more at ease now, I'm sort of riding some weird natural high right now and just going with the flow waiting for the day to get here. 

[ey****]

7 hours ago, ShySubmissiveGuy said:

And by the way, I want to thank everyone for their feedback on this subject.

I am much more at ease now, I'm sort of riding some weird natural high right now and just going with the flow waiting for the day to get here. 

that's good to hear.  when is it?

whilst zero pressure - it'd be good to hear how it goes :)

[ShySubmissiveGuy]

11 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

that's good to hear.  when is it?

whilst zero pressure - it'd be good to hear how it goes :)

A week from tomorrow, the excitement is definitely starting to build. I have been ordered to begin abstaining on Monday so I will definitely need to keep my mind elsewhere lol.

Sure I will let you know how it goes. I'm trying to temper my expectations but I think this could be a life altering experience.

[ey****]

that's a good time frame.  A good period to get into a good headspace to prepare for it - but not too long away it drags.

don't take too much expectation in and enjoy it for what it is.  my first time did set me off on a very interesting path - but - yours might not and that's also OK.  

But, yeah, abstinence and maybe a little daily thing to get you in a good mind might help.  If she does clips, maybe watch one of her clips every day.

[ShySubmissiveGuy]

Quote

don't take too much expectation in and enjoy it for what it is.  my first time did set me off on a very interesting path - but - yours might not and that's also OK.  

Definitely great advice, and I'm trying to do that. 

But I have searched for a while and this one does cater to  my favorite fetish and everything feels right, but still not trying to get too excited.

Our imaginations always tend to build up too much expectations  than anyone else can offer. Which I have learned from many bad dates lol. And that just simply is not fair to them. So I'm doing my best to keep myself grounded for now. 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, ShySubmissiveGuy said:

Our imaginations always tend to build up too much expectations  than anyone else can offer. Which I have learned from many bad dates lol. And that just simply is not fair to them. So I'm doing my best to keep myself grounded for now. 

Good move.   I'd say, take it for what it is and if it gets to the end of the session and you both think you'd enjoy doing it again then that's a win.

[Su****]

I've never been with a Domme. Or Master, Yes I'd like to try it. Maybe if I get the chance. I'm wanting to get to know more about it, but I'd love to try and do most of the interesting thing 's I've been thinking about. So I'm going to keep learning more about this