Safewords

[B4****]

I personally think that safe words should/could be used in any relationship (platonic or not) in any situation not just in a D/S arrangement.
Not comfortable somewhere? Safe word
Don’t want to talk about something? Safe word
why not? Boundaries are healthy and it give people an opportunity to put in boundaries while feeling secure in the relationship.
I personally feel like Safe words could also be used in a sexually without being a D/S situation.
Any D/S relationship should 100% have a safe word especially. Submission is a gift that is shared and should be allowed to be removed when ever the submissive feels like. It protects peoples physically and mental health and is necessary in my opinion.

[Ra****]

My opinion is to always have a safeword. As a domme, you understand how emotions can run very high and sometimes a loss of control can happen. The safeword will help protect both you and your partner if such a situation occurs.

[Lu****]

In my opinion there should always be a safeword.

[typhoon2]

I tell them what safewords that I usually have for my scenes and dynamic. If they don't have any of their own, or choose not to use mine, then 'No' means no, 'Stop' means stop, etc. It's their choice not to safeword and it's mine to intervene if I think they've had enough. No safeword is a direct route to *** and/or errors in my view, yet is easily corrected.

[Deleted Member]

There's tacky no reason to not have one really. It's rather simple to agree to one and if the dom refuses to acknowledge it, with the expression of cnc possibly, then they really shouldn't be allowed to touch other people.

[Deleted Member]

There's really*

[JP****]

Erm - nope in one word - they need to be there so you always have that control

[Ho****]

The more I’ve thought about it the more I think safewords were created mostly for CNC where someone saying “no, please, stop!” Is part of the fantasy and they want you to keep going, other than that I think simply telling someone to stop should be sufficient.

[Deleted Member]

This is where communication with your partner or domm should come into play. In a domm/sub relationship, there should be a certain level of non-verbal understanding where either of you can understand if the other is just uncomfortable or getting possibly harmed. A safe word should be a confirmation or a call to attention for that non-verbal connection. And there should not be any punishment associated with a safe word. You are not being a brat when using it, you are being someone who is scared of harm or very uncomfortable. This is what i feel.

[Deleted Member]

If your scenes don't have struggling or resistance as a component then you don't need a safeword because any indication to stop is just that. But if you think there is any doubt in you're partner's mind that you asking to stop could be interpreted as being in the scene then you need a safeword.

[Th****]

Is it ok? Yeeeeeees kinda. Certain types of play, especially ones that fall under sadism, bondage, cnc and impact require a safe word no matter what- out of basic safety concerns if nothing else. But for quite a bit of the rest of a dynamic- You could potentially not have one, if the trust is there.

[li****]

Everyone should have one so nothing goes wrong or no one is uncomfortable with what is happening

[Deleted Member]

In a nutshell no. You need to have immense trust that they are going to know when you're.in distress.

[su****]

A safe word is necessary for the emotional and physical safety of all parties. I see no reason not to have one, as with the absence of either a way to verbally, or otherwise, communicate discomfort of any sort could do sever damage. If engaging in any sort of play in which one’s ability to speak is compromised by the play, there should be a signal that can be given or at the very least a thorough conversation between all parties before hand on what is being consented to.

[Da****]

ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have safewords...its your choice to use them....but ALWAYS ALWAYS have them. And a Dom who doesn't want them is not a Dom to play with

[Je****]

It can depend, if you're not doing anything involving gags and CNC you can get away with just having "no" or "stop" but gags ya need a hand signal like clicking just incase and then CNC definitely or anything seriously kinky

[Da****]

Depends who suggests it. If the dom says “I don’t want you to have a safeword”, red flag.

If the sub says they don’t have / want one, orange flag lol.

I think they’re vital. Better to have and not need than need and not have.

[da****]

Safe words are always a good practice to have no matter sub Dom or domme

[Si****]

As a sub, I would never enter a relationship or situation with a safeword or also a tap out signal if you cant speak.. its not safe.
My Dom says you should always have your safe word No exceptions

[Jo****]

Safeword should always be compulsory. You know well for your experience as Dom.
A Dom that says that safeword is not necessary or allowed are not BDSM Doms, they are just ***rs.
If your struggle for having a safeword when being Submissive is that you do not use it, this tells only good things about your endurance. However you never know when the Dom who will bring you to your limits wil arrive. So it is better to always having a safeword and a play partner who respects it.

[Ryan_Wolfe]

I would never recommend going into a situation without a safe word unless you absolutely trusted your Dom. Safe words are there to protect the Dom as much as they are the sub. If I pushed a sub too far and didn’t know to stop or pull back I would feel horrible.

[Ri****]

Interesting question. I’ve always had safe words with my subs, until the current one. Even giving their feelings of trust that grow between a Dom and sub, I felt like it was important for the subs to have “escape insurance“. I’ve been with my current sub nearly two years. Our dynamic is more like master/slave, and to an extent we model ourselves on the Gorean lifestyle. This can be tricky, since I have another relationship separate from ours. Early on we both came on some writing about SafeWord‘s and slaves. The gist of the writing was that a safe word can dilute the submissive experience, since she had one control left to her, that of using the safe word. It was her position that she wanted to trust me to the point where she didn’t need a SafeWord, where she was totally under my control. We did decide that she is allowed to beg for mercy if at some point things became too intense or out of control. If she were to ask for mercy, I have no requirement to stop, slow down or otherwise change our activity. In two years she has never had to ask for mercy. Were she to ask for mercy, I would quickly stop and inquire, as if she had used a safe word. It is truly about caring on my part, and trusting on hers.

[he****]

i think if you're both comfortable without one, that's fine. but if you're not sure... that tells me you probably aren't 100% comfortable with it, yeah?

[Ma****]

I always have this talk almost instantly. It's impairative to establish boundaries right out of the gate. Slaves typically have no safewords as they are owned property.

[We****]

Better to have and not need than need and not have.