Safewords

[Al****]

It can sometimes be weird establishing where the line is. That’s why I can appreciate a safe word. I’ve been with people who had a CNC kink and that was new for me, but I was willing to play along. Words like “no” and “stop” don’t quite exist in that scenario, so having a word for “no actually stop, we crossed a line” is really reassuring that I’m not disrespecting any boundaries.

[Wh****]

I always thought a safe word was necessary but if you really don't want one then maybe a certain action instead? Something like blinking repeatedly could work.

If you mean as to not have anything like that at all then maybe a nice conversation before hand with your partner to minimise the risk of something going wrong.

[da****]

I use the light words. Green go. Red stop

[Deleted Member]

So, safewords are kinda interesting. Intiatively you think it's something for the subs comfort, and it mostly is, to make sure lines arn't crossed and they're down with what's happening. On that logic if you trust your Dom, they really know what they're doing and you've really gone over your likes and limits, AND you're entirely comfortable without one, then sure, feel free to forgo it. I'd be a bit worried if the sub in a suituation prefers a safeword but the dom doesn't, I'd make sure you know the dom and like what they do first before you forgo the safewords.

Although on the flip side I think safewords are also a bit of a comfort thing for doms as well. Personally I like that added layer of knowing that I'm not pushing the other person too far, it lets me be a lot more present, it's a wellbeing safety net basically. So I'd make sure the Dom is ok with going safe wordless as well.

It's just one of those things you have to communicate about and work out, there's no prescriptive answer.

[ey****]

a lot comes down to context

but, if in doubt...

"red" and "mercy" are universal safewords.  

but depending on the context of play, you don't need to use a safeword to signify something is wrong or to stop play.  

So relationships don't technically have safewords, but in a lot of cases they've been built there through trust and understanding and ultimately the Dominant being able to read whether their sub doesn't want to do something or has had enough despite their lack of use of safeword.  

[ma****]

Pancakes 🥞. J. B

[Deleted Member]

My safe word is pineapple 🍍

[Ba****]

You should always have a safeword, even for something that you've done hundreds of times. Doms and subs both are allowed, and should if need be, use it. (No, it doesn't matter the reason.)

[Ap****]

Communication is key, a safe word should always be in play, especially with new partners and power exchange, if they are a long term partner and pay attention to your body language and the sounds you make them they should be able to see the signs and ease up or cease, but like I said a safe word should always be in play just in case..

[su****]

35 minutes ago, Apex_Punisher said:

Communication is key, a safe word should always be in play, especially with new partners and power exchange, if they are a long term partner and pay attention to your body language and the sounds you make them they should be able to see the signs and ease up or cease, but like I said a safe word should always be in play just in case..

You said it perfectly. Communication is key.

[Do****]

It all depends on what you want

[Ko****]

The fact you’ve always used one as a Domme should tell you all you need to know.

Any Dom/Domme to which you submit should ensure you’re safe too.

[sa****]

Standard traffic light system should always be in place imo if an official safeword hasn't been established 👌🚥

[Du****]

Safewords are for the safety of all parties involved imo.. it can be beautiful if you know each other to the point where you don't need one.. but there should always be a tap-out option for everyone

[wh****]

Sub without a safeword is a redflag.

[ok****]

If a sub doesn’t want a safeword I don’t trust that person

[aa****]

I think it’s a 99% situation. 99% of the time, if a sub or dom doesn’t want a safeword, run. But if you are with someone for a very long time? Go for it if that’s something you absolutely want and enjoy, but only after you have built enough trust to not really worry. But if you are questioning it at all, then don’t.

[je****]

Wolfie 😬

[DarkArts1066]

This is obviously a highly emotive subject, given the amount of replies.

Those of you who are saying ‘maybe’ … or ‘kinda’ … I am a little surprised at to be honest. This should be one of those questions which doesn’t require an in depth discussion to decide. Safewords are there to cover every unexpected eventuality - not just the “I can’t take any more of this” situation.

For example. If a tie is too tight, or a position is too uncomfortable.. someone develops a cramp, or something more critical, like an acute *** response, an allergy to a cream or a lotion. It could also be that an action ‘triggers’ something in an individual. In these cases, an immediate cessation in play is required… not in a couple of minutes, when one has finished - but right now.

These things do actually happen. I am not scaremongering.

So, better to be safe - and responsible, than to take chances with someone’s safety, well-being - or survival, don’t you think ?

[Th****]

I like most here am of the opinion that you should absolutely have a safe word, remember it is up to you if you use it.
This was mentioned earlier but I think having a safe signal or some such non verbal equivalent is equally important. When wearing a gag or if in non-verbal subspace a safe word is not always possible.

[ey****]

one of the things I do like about threads like this is that...

obviously there are a lot of experienced voices here - both in kink and to the forum - but there's a lot of people where their response is their 1st or 2nd post - and so, I think it's good for a subject where people feel "I am confident to give an answer on this" 

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, DarkArts1066 said:

This is obviously a highly emotive subject, given the amount of replies.

Those of you who are saying ‘maybe’ … or ‘kinda’ … I am a little surprised at to be honest. This should be one of those questions which doesn’t require an in depth discussion to decide. Safewords are there to cover every unexpected eventuality - not just the “I can’t take any more of this” situation.

For example. If a tie is too tight, or a position is too uncomfortable.. someone develops a cramp, or something more critical, like an acute *** response, an allergy to a cream or a lotion. It could also be that an action ‘triggers’ something in an individual. In these cases, an immediate cessation in play is required… not in a couple of minutes, when one has finished - but right now.

These things do actually happen. I am not scaremongering.

So, better to be safe - and responsible, than to take chances with someone’s safety, well-being - or survival, don’t you think ?

Those situations are the reason I say I could be fine not to have one because sometimes a safe word is harder to remember than just stop or no and outside of CNC those should universally cease any play. Obviously this wouldn’t work for people who say no/stop without meaning during play.

[Th****]

35 minutes ago, LunaDeamon said:

Those situations are the reason I say I could be fine not to have one because sometimes a safe word is harder to remember than just stop or no and outside of CNC those should universally cease any play. Obviously this wouldn’t work for people who say no/stop without meaning during play.

Stop or No are perfectly fine as safe words if they work in your style of play. There is a definite difference between a playful and giggly stop and a "f**king stop"

[Di****]

I actually just left my domme because she revoked my ability to use safe words. Safe words are important not only in play but in regular conversations. I have terrible anxiety so sometimes topics of conversation I need a safe word

[ai****]

absolutely not. safewords are extremely vital and if you're against them you're dangerous and shouldn't be in kink spaces