Turn offs!

[kr****]

At this point for me, findom. I know, I know it's not technically allowed on platform but there are still women on here that have a 'pay to approach' mindset or tagline . I can understand why, it is an effective filter, but I want to treat someone who respects me back in some way. Reciprocation is important for me.

[el****]

1 hour ago, 4RCH said:

Wow that’s quite an accusation you’ve made there. Unsubstantiated too unless you know them all personally. However I’ll leave it there so we don’t go off topic!

Yeah youd love a reason to call the mods on me. They work for free on a Fetish website, lol.

[FETMOD-BD]

25 minutes ago, elvon420 said:

Yeah youd love a reason to call the mods on me. They work for free on a Fetish website, lol.

He doesn't need to - you drew attention to yourself by posting comments on a moderated forum. End of this discussion and back on topic please. 

[Wi****]

'Ask me'

[4R****]

16 hours ago, elvon420 said:

Yeah youd love a reason to call the mods on me. They work for free on a Fetish website, lol.

Nope not guilty of “calling a mod”, I’ve been busy.

[4R****]

Ok turn offs……

 

lack of effort

disrespect

pushy behaviour

inability to understand the word no

rudeness

insults and kink shaming

expecting *** or gifts

unwillingness to learn and grow

 

I’m sure there are more but it’s early and I’ve just woke up.

[Deleted Member]

On 9/26/2023 at 1:03 PM, Cupio said:

I guess this can come out wrong... So I'd better make it clear that I'm not trying to kink-shame.

It's luckily not that often, I come across these kinds of profiles, but when I do, I get instantly turned off by profiles (not only on this site) that have bio descriptions treating the reader as if they're inferior to the person owning that profile. Things like people writing in their bio that they're a queen/goddess/princess and acting as if a dom/sub dynamic is already established simply by the two of us existing in the same world.

That’s interesting, I never thought of it coming across like that. I’ve mentioned goddess or primal on my profile as an indication of the archetype I identify myself with.
I was getting A LOT of messages around punishing brats, ***, *** ect, and it just didn’t align with my personal kinks, so I thought maybe putting that on my profile would attract people closer to my types of desires. 
I hope it’s not coming across like you said in your comment. I wouldn’t want to sound like I think I’m superior, I definitely dont want it to look like I think I’m above or better than anyone else.…. hmmm might need to review my profile. 
 

thank you for sharing your insight 

[br****]

Lack of effort

[Deleted Member]

38 minutes ago, Astrid_868 said:

I hope it’s not coming across like you said in your comment. I wouldn’t want to sound like I think I’m superior, I definitely dont want it to look like I think I’m above or better than anyone else.…. hmmm might need to review my profile.

You're not coming across like that at all.
What triggers me is not the labels themselves. It's when they're accompanied by the assumed superiority. I can't remember exact examples of what I've read, but I've come across profiles that give off the vibe of "I'm your mistress, so know your place and get on your knees" or goes straight to degrading the reader. And it might be exactly what some people want to read to peek their interest. It just works in the opposite way for me.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Cupio said:

You're not coming across like that at all.
What triggers me is not the labels themselves. It's when they're accompanied by the assumed superiority. I can't remember exact examples of what I've read, but I've come across profiles that give off the vibe of "I'm your mistress, so know your place and get on your knees" or goes straight to degrading the reader. And it might be exactly what some people want to read to peek their interest. It just works in the opposite way for me.

Ahhh okay, I see what you mean and yes I agree that is a turn off. It’s arrogant and there’s some assumption before they have even spoken to you. 
 

yes it might work for som,  but it would definitely put me off aswell. 

[Deleted Member]

Where any place they could provide information that will help you to determine if you are compatible or not is instead occupied by the words “ask me” 🙄 on any dating app, that’s an instant no from me.

[Ro****]

52 minutes ago, 2KinkyBiGuys said:

Where any place they could provide information that will help you to determine if you are compatible or not is instead occupied by the words “ask me” 🙄 on any dating app, that’s an instant no from me.

Right... that screams "im going to read your profile and craft my response to make you happy rather than actually just type out the answer now." No other reason I can think of that youd want to type the same answer to every single person you talk to rather than type it out once on your profile.

[Er****]

Punctuation, effort to describe themselves, their background like their bedrooms if it is messy or clean, I can't read their minds but a picture tells you a lot.

[Deleted Member]

Picture backgrounds that are messy distracts me from the actual person in the photo.

Pictures that were taken in any bathroom.

Blank profiles

Not knowing the difference between a Dom and someone that is a dominant person.

Not understanding what a Dom or Master role is and calling themselves one incorrectly.

Bad spelling. Especially with spell check or auto correction.

Not understanding common kink community etiquette or just being rude or disrespectful.

When the profile user forgets that we are mostly all humans (maybe a few alien life forms) and feel they can say things online they normally wouldn’t say in an in person conversation or about them presentation.

[Deleted Member]

The big ones for me are empty profiles (that don't at least indicate their preferred roles) heavily filtered lead in photos, photos that looks too "professional", or where the lead in is something like a foot pic, without something more normal also in the profile.

In the actual text, anything that tries to invoke a dynamic before it exists, or implies looking for an uneven dynamic (such as findom) is an instant no.

[Mr****]

For me it’s more what they don’t have, no description, no name, no pic, pic of a hill, or the side of a car or something.. like you’re on a social site, might wanna try being social 🤣

[Fe****]

Honestly, the #1 thing for me is a nasty smelling cra*k. Nothing worse than getting ready to eat and get a woft of unclean holes. I lose motivation real fast.

[Ro****]

28 minutes ago, FeelingFine said:

Honestly, the #1 thing for me is a nasty smelling cra*k. Nothing worse than getting ready to eat and get a woft of unclean holes. I lose motivation real fast.

How are you knowing that from their profile, though?

[ho****]

appearing unkempt or unwell. i don’t give one hoot about “attractiveness”, just put your best foot forward, y’all! as well as little to no info. i’m here to meet actual people in real life. if i get the impression you’re in the closet or don’t take good care of yourself, i’m immediately uninterested.

[Qu****]

Casual bigotry or just a general disregard of basic respect or consent dynamics especially in kink

[ti****]

Lack of a profile

[jo****]

Bullies and judgemental people

[Nocturne]

There's various things that would be a turn off for me, but a sense of entitlement to my attention is definitely a big one.

[da****]

For me it would be degrading and possession and bondage. Judgemental people do it to. My biggest though is when a sub is to submissive when they don't feel like they are a human beings. Also when people are so caught up in themselves that they feel like their entitled to a sub or doms attention. Those that see others and find them as a challenge and try to break them. You can tell all that in how they describe themselves and what their likes and dislikes are.

[he****]

Anything about Jesus or god