How can we make sure women feel safe in an online community?

[purplepie]

Join the discussion: How can we make sure women feel safe in an online community?

 

[Deleted Member]

No sexual advances within first interactions

[ar****]

First establish why they would feel unsafe. Most probable cause could be male attention, in the form of disrespectful comments or encounters. When those occur somewhat in the public feed, other members should correct said behavior to signal it's not ok. But in private messages, there are no other ***ps keeping a watchful eye. So all women can do, is block (and report) people who harass them in their DMs.

[Gr****]

Sensored images

[ge****]

A very good and pertinent question and one to which sadly there are no easy answers - and yes I appreciate that as a man the question is possibly not one I can directly answer or one that was aimed at me. However having been around on-line adult related communities for many years I have observations based on those experiences.
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It would be lovely to have a magic wand that could address those men that have incorrect expectations and a sense of entitlement and worse when it comes to sites like this, those who think that crude, vile and abusive messages etc are ok but sadly such a magic wand doesn't exist - so education is the only option, but I would suggest it should perhaps happen at sign up, maybe with a text that has to be read before a profile is created - one that clearly states not only that *** will not be tolerated, but that actually helps set out expectations that it isn't simply a case of signing up and every fantasy will be catered to, how knowledge, respect, right attitudes etc are required - make each point a tick box to ensure it's been read.
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Lay out some of the advice that is rolled out time and again about how important it is to set expectations, attitude, etc correctly, and how profile and pictures can play their part.
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All of that of course won't address the issue, but may make some stop and think twice.
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Create safe areas within the site that are for women only, or perhaps for women only and any men that have somehow proved themselves not to be abusive and are an asset to the site.
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Am sure there is much more that could be done beyond that too.

[Deleted Member]

Some sort of online taser button?😂

[Deleted Member]

Communities like this one are great for women to communicate with one another about their experiances with doms, negitive and positive. Ive heard from many Subs ive spent time with that some Doms are just abusive guys who dont understand that the Sub is the one who wields the power in the dynamic.
Ive met women through word of mouth from subs who vouched for me as a Dom who ensjoys providing aftercare and a safe space.
If you are a sub who has a LEGIT issue with a Dom or another community member, be open about it and communicate your experiance8 with others in the community, you may keep someone else from getting hurt or worse. If your a Sub who is in the market for a Dom, feel things out first and make friends with tenured subs so you have someone who you can learn from.
Hope this helps, open to discussing further with anyone who chimes in, always helpful to see different perspectives.

[Ma****]

Watch someone’s action not words. Always meet in public places as you get to know em also have overwatch if needed only.

[Deleted Member]

Don’t ignore your gut feeling or red flags just bc he’s hot or apologizing means he still deserves to be in ur life…..

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Tremaine_XLX said:

Don’t ignore your gut feeling or red flags just bc he’s hot or apologizing means he still deserves to be in ur life…..

Doesn’t mean

[na****]

Stop soliciting y’all selves

[bi****]

by remembering that "sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me". Any *** caused online is of your own making. Anyone tries to be mean to you, either ignore them or mute/block them. Job done, move on and pay them no more attention.

[Ma****]

Feel safe? It’s online? If you don’t feel safe, don’t meet them. Y’all need to understand what real danger actually is. 

[Deleted Member]

I would say that this is something the so-called "sexual marketplace" will take care of on its own. (and I am acutely aware of the limitations and issues of this term, but it will have to do for our purposes for now). It's very easy for women on sites like this to block annoying, immature and disrespectful men and such men will inevitably leave the site, having found no success. They can only charge head-first into so many DMs without a modicum of human respect before they give up and leave.

It would be very difficult to censor and police messages men can send to women and any attempt would lead to more harm done than good. I believe women should use the "no thank you" buttons and "report" buttons more liberally (depending on how obnoxious the man in question is being) to send more negative rein***ment the way of undesirable men who don't know how to talk to people.

I believe all the tools are already there. Very few man can take overwhelming and loud rejection from a large number of women for a long time. Women have to deal with irritating men, men have to deal with harsh competition and a low rate of responses from women (and the exhausting 'legwork' that comes with it). Online dating isn't perfect, but it's up to us as individuals to make it better.

[Ju****]

Depends on how you define the word safe.
All members need to be kept safe from things.
Men more often than not, financially. This incudes black mail. Non consensual. Also *** can be aimed at any gender. Physical, emotional or otherwise.
All comes down to vetting.

As for the site, the biggest issue I've read from women, is the lack of respect when someone says no.
Next in line is receiving non consensual d**k pics.
Maybe add a feature for women to turn on photo receipts. So they can't physically receive any from anyone until they approve a request of an image from a member.
The current blur out one is still being sent non consensual and sometimes that blur fails.
Once a lady feels comfy in a conversation she can click a toggle to allow photo or video requests off the other participant in the conversation.

The rest is common sense on safety and what gives someone a flag.

[Ba****]

I always try to meet in a public place first. If you get a bad vibe don’t be afraid to leave. If you do decide to go home with someone make sure you have a friend that knows where you are. Address if possible, names, phone numbers, profile name and pictures. Hope you have a friend that you can trust all that too. Hope everyone is safe and getting what they need.

[Deleted Member]

Stop men commenting on women’s body’s or appearance. If someone expresses that they like that then fine, not before

[NT****]

I think allowing women to submit screenshots of creepy images so that person may get banned or suspended. The less creepy people the better everyone feels.

[ea****]

That is a great question. Besides the obvious, respect, proper language, not assuming things. I would be very interested in this. As a man, it is difficult to reach out online, I feel, because women have that *** of not being safe, and rightfully so. A lot of bad eggs have caused this. I always show respect, ask appropriate questions, and show that I am respectful

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been on one online community or another for over two decades at this point and I will be honest, this application, the moderators, the verification tools and the various filtering capabilities really makes me feel very safe. The ease of the no thanks and hide feature also politely rejects any of the nonsense I have coming my way. I think within the fetish community most people are fairly polite, and the F boys that come around are quickly rejected.

[Deleted Member]

Tell them to stop listening to true crime podcasts

[bb****]

How do you feel "unsafe" in an online community. I don't understand

[Deleted Member]

There is this thing where women can get people checked out to make sure there safe to talk too, but what about us men and under age girls making accounts pretending to be of age then claim *** cause they need a few quid or what about women putting them dutty selves up for sale and rinsing mans bank account you all think you women need to be safe cause your women but what about keeping us men safe what about keeping the community safe altogether

[ex****]

How can we make sure men feel safe in an online community

[Tackyman24]

And make men feel safe as well. My experience with this has been almost traumatic so far