How can we make sure women feel safe in an online community?

[Deleted Member]

My issue with this state ment is making "women" safe. What about all the shit men cop? What about the scammers out there who constantly scam males? What about all the women who take advantage of men? I think this is an all gender issue and not just women.

[bc****]

A woman is safe only if the environment is safe

[ey****]

ugh - so much of this is a tyre fire - so to add some summary points

yes, it's important everyone is safe (however you stretch the word) both online and in spaces

there has already been recent threads about tips for avoiding scammers etc. which was mainly aimed at men.  There would have been hell on if that had been hijacked by women complaining about problems they face; but here we are, on a thread being hijacked by men (he says, without irony, being a man)

So really, every single man who has said "what about men's problems?" is contributing to an unsafe environment because it means women cannot speak about their problems without being shouted over, or "what you even got to feel unsafe about?"

Equally I note we've got the usual whinges of "fakes and scammers" and "it's haaaaaaarddddd to meet anyone real" - and, look, the better an online environment is for women, the more who will be attracted to it and the more who will stick around.  It's not a difficult concept to understand.

Having been here many years, the amount of people I've seen come and go is nuts - and a lot often boils down to the same kinda things : the behaviour of too many men.  And even some who call themselves gentlemen get pissy when told 'no'. And those who call themselves 'nice' who also hinge on being entitled.

And I'm not saying men shouldn't comment on this thread (I'd be a hypocrite) but... maybe... raising things to support women rather than trying to hijack or redirect the thread.  We've HAD threads on men's issues. Go post on those if it's what you want to talk about. 

[TK****]

1 hour ago, benjame1967 said:

A quote that is so true “Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something." Chris Rock

Exactly, wow! & It even goes beyond that! I would argue it’s an oversimplification but I’m so grateful you shared that with us all, thank you honey! God bless your heart! Keep on rockin’ on in the free world! ♥️

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep I do agree with you in many ways and yes equality is important. Then maybe there shouldn't be the use of women and instead, how do we keep everyone safe (all the kinksters).

[ge****]

19 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

ugh - so much of this is a tyre fire - so to add some summary points

yes, it's important everyone is safe (however you stretch the word) both online and in spaces

there has already been recent threads about tips for avoiding scammers etc. which was mainly aimed at men.  There would have been hell on if that had been hijacked by women complaining about problems they face; but here we are, on a thread being hijacked by men (he says, without irony, being a man)

So really, every single man who has said "what about men's problems?" is contributing to an unsafe environment because it means women cannot speak about their problems without being shouted over, or "what you even got to feel unsafe about?"

Equally I note we've got the usual whinges of "fakes and scammers" and "it's haaaaaaarddddd to meet anyone real" - and, look, the better an online environment is for women, the more who will be attracted to it and the more who will stick around.  It's not a difficult concept to understand.

Having been here many years, the amount of people I've seen come and go is nuts - and a lot often boils down to the same kinda things : the behaviour of too many men.  And even some who call themselves gentlemen get pissy when told 'no'. And those who call themselves 'nice' who also hinge on being entitled.

And I'm not saying men shouldn't comment on this thread (I'd be a hypocrite) but... maybe... raising things to support women rather than trying to hijack or redirect the thread.  We've HAD threads on men's issues. Go post on those if it's what you want to talk about. 

Hear hear bravo Sir 👏🏻
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This thread really has become pretty much all that you've said - this is not about a competition about who has it worse, or "what about this-ism" but a direct question about how to make on-line environments safe for a specific sector of our community, and one which actually yes can be *** to some of the worst behaviours from others, as a large number of those women who have responded have shown.
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To not understand those problems, or to seek to dismiss them as trivial, as many of the men who have responded have done shows they are part of the problem.
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Yes, women can take action to protect themselves, but it doesn't completely eradicate the *** and worse they face and seeking to dismiss it as trivial, or rather than trying to find solutions countering those problems with those that men face is pretty abhorrent really. It's become, and rightly so, recognised that telling a bloke to "man up" is not acceptable, and yet many of the responses here are effectively telling ladies to "woman up" which is no more acceptable either.

[purplepie]

This topic has now been closed. Many thanks for the lively participation and constructive arguments. We do not tolerate insults and harmful comments, neither to other users nor to our moderators.

 

The FET Team