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What makes a dom/domme a dom/domme


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15 hours ago, Hyrrolar said:

“Power resides where men believe it resides. No more and no less.”

absolutely - simple and to the point.

Posted (edited)
On 4/9/2024 at 11:42 AM, kimutu72 said:

So the question is What makes a dom/domme a dom/domme rather than someone who thinks they are? 

Real ones don't have to go around insistently proclaiming to other people that they're a Dom/Domme.


To paraphrase a Game of Thrones scene:


Joffrey Baratheon: I am the king! I am the king! I am the King!

Tywin Lannister: Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king. 


The same thing applies here in the Kinky Verse.


Edited by Shilo66
Tuesday at 05:50 PM, TallBastard said:
Anyone can be a sadist, but the true hallmark(s) of a good Dom(me) is the capacity to restrain oneself, exhibit empathy and compassion, and perform necessary maintenance e.g. aftercare/routines/rituals for their sub. That’s right I said FOR. Just because you are bot the one serving does not mean you aren’t also providing a service. Call it filling a role, call it whatever you want, but when you strip away the semantics, a Dom(me) and a sub both serve each other by providing the desired role for the other, not by taking what you please from the other, and the difference between falling into a role (D or s, doesn’t matter) and BEING D or s is having the dedication to performing your respective role to the best of your ability. Agree or disagree, that’s my perspective on this matter.

Exactly! Best comment so far…
If both sides don’t get something out of it, it won’t last…
It will stay at the play partners level…
True D and s are indeed serving each other needs in equal measure…
I am a switch btw…
Currently experiencing a real D/s relationship with a lovely emphatic Domme for the first time
And it is so rewarding…

I am not of the opinion that anyone can be a sadist. In fact, I think most people are bad at it because they internalize other peoples *** more than they want to admit. There is a reason that competent Sadists are in high demand.
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