Overcoming trust issues

[CopperKnob]

You have to realise a few things about, not this app specifically/solely, but all online kink sites.

1. When you're new here, everyone will message you regardless of their interests/intent. These are the people who specifically look for newbies/less experienced individuals. They are skilled at the chat and it's easy to fall for it.
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2. When we're new, it's like a candy store. Everything is bright and sparkly, and we're keen to jump in, especially if we're only just getting to grips with a new side of ourselves. And, we can say we've vetted, but the first few times we do, we do not do it well, and we miss the glaring red flags. We can say that we're cautious/skeptical and don't jump in straight in away with both feet but, well, here we all are with our stories.
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3. This is no different from vanilla dating/ hookups. Trust your gut instinct. Ignore your heart and the excitement around a new connection/relationship. Do not 'play' on a first meet.
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4. Rather than going straight into meets with people, spend time here getting to know and learn from the community, not just about kink but yourself too.

[je****]

2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Trust your gut instinct.

I literally whinced at this. Ouch. Lol. That, I did not do. At the time, I put it down to 'lack of trust'. Things felt off, but being been told xyz I like to take people at their word and I feel as though questioning further shows distrust.  

But, once again, I know why. Thankfully, in day to day, I've had a HUGE lesson in trusting my gut since then. At the time, it was something that I was very much doubting.

While incredibly frustrating, this has really helped. Thank you. 🙏

[je****]

3 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

we can say we've vetted, but the first few times we do, we do not do it well

This is weirdly comforting. Such a great way to explain it. I felt as though I did... but we don't know, what we don't know. It's not a fail, it's a work in progress. 💯🙏

[CopperKnob]

49 minutes ago, jess_may said:

This is weirdly comforting. Such a great way to explain it. I felt as though I did... but we don't know, what we don't know. It's not a fail, it's a work in progress. 💯🙏

If it makes you feel better, have a read of a post called 'how do new subs stay safe' in this forum. We've all learnt the hard way but isn't that the point of life?

[je****]

57 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

If it makes you feel better, have a read of a post called 'how do new subs stay safe' in this forum. We've all learnt the hard way but isn't that the point of life?

Correct! And generally the hardest things in life are the most worthwhile. I will definitely head over and read that now. Thank you, so much. 🙏