Molly's BDSM Tips | Am I Alone with My Blood Play Fantasies?

This week, our BDSM advice columnist Molly gives one of our members looking to explore their blood play fantasies some guidance on how to live them out. Plus, some advice on finding someone to enjoy this bloody kink with. Find out what our Molly suggests.

Dear Molly,
I have long had fantasies about vampires and also am drawn to people who have that gothic look. It's part of me that I have hidden for a long time. Since discovering BDSM and the BDSM community, my eyes have opened to what might be possible, so I'm very interested in exploring blood play. I'm drawn to blood but in the sense of bleeding from the skin, not menstrual blood. I don't know a lot about blood play or even if it is a thing, but I want to try and find someone who might be willing to explore this with me. Do you think this is normal, or am I alone in these desires?
Shadow

Dear Shadow,
So let's start with the most important thing right away. Your interest in various aspects of blood play is completely normal, although I dislike the word 'normal' because it feels judgemental, especially when it comes to sex and relationships. So, I prefer to look at different kinks which might not be as familiar or mainstream as others. Concerning your blood play desires being reasonable, and if they can be achieved safely and consensually, the answer is an absolute yes.

Types of blood play

There are many types of blood play or play that can lead to blood play. For example, spanking or flogging someone until their skin is red, then using something like Vampire Gloves (or Vampire Mitts) just enough to break the skin's surface will cause bleeding. Also, knife play, needle play and various cutting can all include elements of blood play.

Lots of people worry that blood play means damaging or cutting the skin, but that's not always the case. If you know what you're doing, you can draw blood with the tiniest of nicks in the skin. Many people enjoy the act of making someone bleed or bleeding for someone. I know, as it's something I enjoy myself. There's a massive thrill in seeing my blood, and getting it on my hands and face is also a big turn on for me. The key is to explore various things and work out what works for you.

Practising blood play safely

Of course, one of the most important things when it comes to blood play is doing it safely. Blood is a huge risk factor when it comes to spreading germs and should always be treated with caution. Ingesting someone else's blood can put you at risk of catching any blood-borne pathogens, including HIV and various strains of Hepatitis. As a result, you should always be very cautious about ingesting someone's blood and certainly never contemplate it with someone you're not fluid-bound with and are not 100% sure of their STI status.

Besides, whenever you break someone's skin, you're potentially exposing them to an increased risk of getting an infection, so good hygiene is of utmost importance. Cleaning the skin with a mild antiseptic beforehand reduces the risk of any bacteria being able to get into the bloodstream. Ensure any implements you use are kept scrupulously clean and if possible, disinfected between use. While this is tricky with something like leather vampire gloves, cleaning them as best you can and using antiseptic wipes is essential. Also, after play you should treat any break of the skin like you would if someone was injured. Clean it and keep it clean.

The truth is, blood play does have risks involved, so it's crucial to educate yourself about what those risks potentially might be. Put plans in place to hopefully mitigate them or even eradicate them. It's also vital for your play partner(s) to understand what they're consenting to and be comfortable with any potential risks.

Finding a bloody playmate

Finding a blood play playmate is an integral part of exploring this kink, although perhaps exploring blood play on yourself would be a good idea to start. You'll then have more experience and confidence about what you like and why.

When it comes to finding a partner, my advice is to look for a connection or bond with someone so that you can talk openly and freely about the things you like. If that person is right for you, they'll hopefully be willing to explore those things.

Indulging in blood play with a causal partner perhaps isn't something you'll do because of the risks involved. The way to go would be to develop a relationship with another kinkster. That being said, some communities enjoy vampire role play that doesn't necessarily involve actual blood - this could also be another place to start.

One way to find other like-minded kinky folk is to attend a local munch. A munch is a social gathering usually held in a bar or a pub where you can hang out and chat and get to know people in your local kink community. It's not a place to hook up with people, but a place to discover a community and the kink events taking place in your local area. Attending a blood play workshop would be a brilliant way to educate yourself. Who knows what other bloody folks you might meet there as a result.
Good luck
Molly x

Have blood play ideas? Share your tips with other kinksters into blood play in the Fetish.com forum.