Trust is good, control is better.

[Alpha_Primal_Hunter]

This is a quote. First who said and is true in BDSM?

[Deleted Member]

The two are linked, for me you can't have true control without trust.

[Me****]

Personally, I would say trust is everything.

But then i usually like and trust a girl along time before i bang her😈

🔓⛓🥇👑⛓🔓

[PixieDust]

I believe this quote was by Vladimir Lenin a Russian Politician 

I have heard and read many debates over that very question.  It's really quite fascinating how many differing views there are on that statement but then again people are fascinating regardless of whether they have good topic to debate due to their diverse thoughts and opinions. 

For me, I believe, without Trust you can't have true Control regardless of BDSM or not.

[Ky****]

who would hand over control without trust? too dangerous

[qu****]

Without knowing the full context of the quote made by Lenin, it's hard to have a definitive answer, plus different languages translate from the Russian in different ways, but in a BDSM context trust comes before control even thought about

Edited October 8, 2020 by quietlysure
Control not controls

[Deviant_Ric]

Sadly there are many, whether naive or blinkered or conditioned, who are only too willing to relinquish control without considering trust

[Me****]

7 minutes ago, quietlysure said:

Without knowing the full context of the quote made by Lenin, it's hard to have a definitive answer, plus different languages translate from the Russian in different ways, but in a BDSM context trust comes before control even thought about

(giggling)

Im sure Lenin wasn't refering to banging some dude like a girl!

😂😂😂😂😂

🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

 

[Me****]

9 minutes ago, Nastycuntspanker said:

Sadly there are many, whether naive or blinkered or conditioned, who are only too willing to relinquish control without considering trust

totes Nasty.

also, the name, "nastycuntspanker" has made me giggle.

😂

[Me****]

"This creature softened my heart of stone. She died and with her died my last warm feelings for humanity."

Joseph Stalin

[Deviant_Ric]

31 minutes ago, METALSIR said:

totes Nasty.

also, the name, "nastycuntspanker" has made me giggle.

😂

It’s just one of many ‘hobbies’ 😇

[qu****]

On further reading there's no evidence Lenin ever said this, however the meaning is to rely only on what's been verified

[Me****]

seeing as we are doing qoutes from great bastards of history...

One from mr A. Hitler of Berlin...

"To conquer a nation, first disarm its citizens....

and then bang them all in the balloon knot!"

🤭😂🔓⛓👑⛓🔓

 

of course, i'm paraphrasing him a bit.

Edited October 8, 2020 by METALSIR
insert

[Phoenyx]

A lot of dictators, despotic leaders, and used-car salesmen have used false or misguided trust to gain control.

[Me****]

1 hour ago, Phoenyx said:

A lot of dictators, despotic leaders, and used-car salesmen have used false or misguided trust to gain control.

Yeah, those used car sales dudes are hella kinky!

[Th****]

Yep, definitely Lenin.

For me Trust is paramount and over riding on both sides of the slash and self-control is far more important than control. 

[Alpha_Primal_Hunter]

Self-control by the Sir or the sub?

[Alpha_Primal_Hunter]

I think it takes knowing the other more so than any other type of relationship. And you knowing yourself. A hard look at your needs and wants in all areas of your life. As a Dom, I believe My sub has the right to grow and realize his dreams. As much as he wants to satisfy My sexual need, I need to make sure he gets all he needs. Plus, sex is only maybe 10% of BDSM. So you can be great for 10% of the time and a shit 90%.

[qu****]

Further reading has shown that whilst this term can't be proven, it has been proven he used trust but check often, the problem being the Russian word proverjai can be translated as check (kontrollieren)= control, instead of check (prufen)= verify, this from a German translation but the differences can get lost in trying to translate

[Me****]

2 hours ago, Alpha_Primal_Hunter said:

 

I think it takes knowing the other more so than any other type of relationship. And you knowing yourself. A hard look at your needs and wants in all areas of your life.

 

Beautifully put 

I'm stealing this for my writing @Alpha_Primal_Hunter

Edited October 8, 2020 by METALSIR
omission

[Th****]

6 hours ago, Alpha_Primal_Hunter said:

Self-control by the Sir or the sub?

Good question.

Well, when I said it I was referring to the Dominant as I was always taught that if you want to have control over another one must first master control over yourself.

Upon reflection, this applies equally to submissives, but mainly in the control of self. The control needed to with hold orgasms, to maintain stress positions, to stay Respectful in heavy play, and to take discipline is colossal.

Here is to a well balanced 100% that allows all parties to grow. 

[He****]

I will hand over control when I have 100% trust in the person I'm handing control to,  it goes hand in hand. 

[co****]

Hot very hot. I would serve you anytime

[Th****]

On 10/8/2020 at 6:34 PM, Alpha_Primal_Hunter said:

Self-control by the Sir or the sub?

My apologies, I missed this question.

I was speaking of self-control in the Dominant.

I was always taught that until you can control yourself, you cannot hope to control others.

IMHO as well, I think having greater control of yourself means that you are less likely to be manipulated by others. You can also limit your desires to match your playmates limits.

[Koby]

Trust is always necessary 

Control is not always needed, if Trust is apparent and present. 

If you  trust me to lead, I don't need to be in control