Submissive- are they born or made?

[ey****]

The truth is largely a little of both

Genetics ("are we born submissive") affects personality - but - environmental factors have the largest influence on our personality. But, a lot of this is very non-systematic and random 

So we may arguably born with traits that may be deemed as being submissive - but - largely the environment we've lived and brought up in shape things.

Although

A lot of people like the fantasy idea of being "born to serve" and so that comes up a lot.  But there's only really a pinch of chance in there.  That. Even if you were - there were still random events and influences that brought you where you are today. 

[Algolagnic]

I thoroughly believe a submissive is born that way but lots never realise it and I think Dominance does not just happen I have been Dominant as long as I can remember but I only figured it out in my late 20’s when I stumbled into it with the girl who became my first sub and we lived the life until her brother wrote to her telling her that her parents needed her and she went home to look after them obviously her duty and submissive. I never saw her again.

[na****]

I think time can sometimes time can take people in different directions, for me being submissive will always be the same.... That's how and who I am... But I understand some people can be a bit of dominant or submissive..

[Ky****]

born but need help to realise it, and training to appreciate its joys

[PaganDawn]

It has to be in you..at your core..environment, media,pier pressure and upbringing can contribute to a sub never finding their way. I mean.. everything about being submissive is frowned upon in Vanilla. I made a conscious choice to raise my children unbiased and non judgement and Tolerant of others. But never introduced them to my kink life in any way.
Now I'm free to be me..I find 2 are Doms and 1 is a sub
2 of my nieces are also embracing their sub side now because they see how happy I am being open and honest with who I am. And, because they see its not all about whips and chains..its a state of mind.
There is so much pressure now to confirm to society.. and what it expects of us..my main hope is that kink always stays free of putting labels on people..and no matter how many fakes come through the kink door..we always keep opening it..so that when true subs walk through they find a warm welcome.

[Deleted Member]

On 2/11/2021 at 10:56 AM, magical-soul said:

Depends on how you feel at the time, starting off submissive realising its not you switch things up or take the time to invest and see if you are of that dominant nature, walking blind into a situation i know i fancied trying many aspects so yes i took the submissive role to find many aspects weren't for me, time goes by many years and progress to other aspects still have submissive tendencies and switch moments too but that's my personal choice within myself. 

Finding yourself within is you're choice and path to take ..

Looking back at my original answer. Love yourself for who you are. Your morals. Conduct. Feelings.

I know I'm not a submissive alone. Yet I would submit in the right situation. Not being a yes person. 

Switch. Probably. Core heart of the mind. Don't allow life dominate you where ever you feel you are.

You can be great at anything you choose to be or do with the right support. God knows I've shun many out that's tried  to help over the years life in general.

The difference is I accept it. Facing it. In time my path will open to me. Step by step, day by day. Take the leap of faith if you question yourself to find out. 

Embrace the love. Spread the joy. No matter what let your confidence show who you are inside.

[Fo****]

When discovering and struggling, I said to myself, made! However, As I am now comfortable in my skin and accepting in my adult life. Born, I just didn't realise

[myshaal56]

Having been born with an extra female chromosome,  i believe that i was born submissive and this is the reason that i love to wear female clothing. 

[Wo****]

I'd say both. 

I thought I was submissive until recently. Turns out i was wrong....

 

It's the age old question... nature or nuture?

Is our submission (or dominance) chosen? Mine was. I chose submission but dominance suits me better. 

Was I born dominant? Did my life experiences and choices take me on a submissive path? Was I choosing submission against my nature?

 

 

[ol****]

I tend towards born. While I agree that nurture can have a role in shaping people I think nature is predominant.

[Wi****]

3 hours ago, Bounty said:

I'd say both. 

I thought I was submissive until recently. Turns out i was wrong....

 

It's the age old question... nature or nuture?

Is our submission (or dominance) chosen? Mine was. I chose submission but dominance suits me better. 

Was I born dominant? Did my life experiences and choices take me on a submissive path? Was I choosing submission against my nature?

 

 

I've always been naturally submissive and not really like being in the lime light. Being naturally submissive has never stopped me achieving goals tho in fact I think it makes me strive for them all more. 

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Bounty said:

I'd say both. 

I thought I was submissive until recently. Turns out i was wrong....

 

It's the age old question... nature or nuture?

Is our submission (or dominance) chosen? Mine was. I chose submission but dominance suits me better. 

Was I born dominant? Did my life experiences and choices take me on a submissive path? Was I choosing submission against my nature?

 

 

Yep finding that one out myself ATM. Some things draw you back. Much more has been pushing my buttons to see its in me in a very dark twisted way. It's always been there. I know exactly when too. 1982. .. 

[Ch****]

I'm a switch. Iv only realy submited truly to my master I have now. Just a look or a word or tone of his voice an im totally submissive. Although people in our life think im the dominant 1 witch is funny. They say its the quite 1s that you need to look out for. Master is very quite. Only a few of my vanila freinds know the truth.

 

I lived with a switch for 14 years but looking back he was so much more sub than me.

 

A few guys who id been with before tried to top me but I refused an flipped the situation an toped them.

 

I'm very dominant in life I guess it came from being around my mom who is a strong minded woman.  Also training as a chef made me very dominant in life. 

 

But are subs realy not doms as we give our doms a list of things what we will do or not do. Well I did in my contract with master.