An Introduction to BDSM - Arch Style

[Deleted Member]

Very eloquently put. i enjoyed reading this. Thank you.

[Cmark87]

I'm new and seem to have an interest in this for some  reason, unknown as to why.

[Cocksucker678]

I'm new here n very interested n happy to try this new life style

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for this

[Ju****]

Thank you for this

[Deleted Member]

This should be a required reading when first joining this site

[6GUY9-3486]

Very well writen  thank you.

Edited September 30, 2023 by 6GUY9-3486

[Wowee83]

New to this and think this will be a great help and guide

[BondKitty07]

I wish I saw and read this before I jumped in with both feet because now I am drowning in regret. I was talking to a Dom for a while and now he has ditched me. Now I am stuck going to Tennessee, it was to see him but now it's over. I feel so stupid and naive!!! Lesson learned, the hard way 

[4R****]

11 hours ago, BondKitty07 said:

I wish I saw and read this before I jumped in with both feet because now I am drowning in regret. I was talking to a Dom for a while and now he has ditched me. Now I am stuck going to Tennessee, it was to see him but now it's over. I feel so stupid and naive!!! Lesson learned, the hard way 

Sorry to hear that's happened to you. Unfortunately it is a hard lesson but please don't call yourself stupid - mistakes are very often the way we learn.

When someone is first learning to ride a bike, they will inevitably make a mistake and fall off. When this happens we don't call them "stupid" - instead we explain what went wrong and tell them to get back on and try again........

Now dust yourself off and start peddling!

[Bionicmartian]

Excellent read, thank you

[Teasedtillubeg]

Great piece. Some really solid info to build on whilst continuing to explore this new world. Many thanks

[ly****]

I should have read this sooner!

[eR****]

Thank you for this easy to understand. insightful, well written description of BDSM, expectations and your ‘vanilla’ life.

[eR****]

I think i need to change my username lol

[Br****]

Thank you for giving this vital information, in a positive but serious manner. I am lucky in that I am Dominant IRL, the only area I do not want to dominate is the play room, fun room, fungeon, so my knee jerk reaction when someone thinks submissive equals doormatt and bratty sub equals whore for hire, I automatically tactfully redirect them, but if they continue to disrespect my boundaries I less politely remind them, this ain't that and continue to disrespect I'll get a moderator to help, (on chat 8n the lobby it has never come to that because other kinksters usually admonish the dbag or dbaggette before the person being disrespected has to say anything. While I know there is no such thing as a perfect environment, this site definitely takes informed consent, safety and bullying as well as information, and disinformation very seriously, yey maintains a fun atmosphere. Sorry ADHD brain, the reason I brought this up, a lot of new submissives may not have the same established boundaries, experience IRL being dominant in their vanilla life or they migjt not have the self love or self worth because they have been bullied all they life.
I love that this is simply explained with everyday anologies to try to explain the almost unexplaunable except for the main tenents, 1)say no to anyone that disrespects your boundaries or at least consider it, 2) dont let anyone push you to do something you already know you hate, dislike, isnt your cuppa, 3) speak up because not everyones psychic abilities are working or may be on the fritz, so inform your partner/partners if something is unwanted, unsatisfactory, or if beyond your *** threshhold., or communicate, if someone is not respecting your boundaries, ask someone you trust or at least trust more than the person not respecting you right to consent or not consent. There's a lot more you covered. Thank you for being honest and communicating.

[lo****]

Thanks so much for clearing so many misunderstanding I had

[Rajdom]

Excellent advice keep it up Arch 👏👍 more need to read this and take on board imo 

[le****]

What’s the best way to connect with the community and find partners locally?

[4R****]

7 hours ago, lexington133 said:

What’s the best way to connect with the community and find partners locally?

Going to your local munch and getting yourself known is probably the most effective.

[Birble]

I wish everyone joining Fet had to/would read this on their way in. Like joining a Facebook group - you have to take a moment to read their blurb, agree to rules, find the password..

Just a little buffer, like a vestibule, so that everyone - newbie or nay, or "I've been a (50 shades meanie) Dom for ten years" - can come in armed with knowledge and/or know that everyone signing up is having to read it so should either behave better or will expect better (in terms of consent and respect and all the good good stuff about BDSM) from others.

And maybe even a signpost to the *** site (F**k.com is it?) for anyone coming here assuming it's a hook up site? Because sheesh, so many misconceptions and assumptions land in my inbox, expecting or assuming things they really should not be! 🙄☹️

Thank you 4RCH for taking the time to get this info down in black and white, and articulate for those of us that can't. Or for those out there who really needed to hear/absorb it because they thought they knew all the fings but didn't.

😘🫂🌺💕🪷🐦🤗

[na****]

That’s a essay

[John54]

Arch. Thanks (again) for your excellent overviews, explanations and cautions

[Mi****]

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, as a new submissive in training trying to get into the community this was very helpful. Much needed read. ❤️

[Flowers05]

Thank youuu so much this has helped 🫶🏽