Message etiquette

[ge****]

I guess it depends how you define a "simple" message - just "hi" and then your chances are slim, something a little more than "hi" but not War And Peace then your chances certainly increase.
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It's about finding a balance between the two that works for you and if you've found that all power to you, but think about it this way - if you send 100 "simple" messages but only get 5 responses, is it any better than sending 10 longer messages to people you have genuine interest in and getting 5 responses?
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Time and effort spent is probably similar, and the fact you have genuine interest in the profile means it's more likely there may be a match.

[Deleted Member]

I like the short messages myself if you can't take the time to respond to hello your not who I want to talk to anyway

[Ceejayuk]

1 hour ago, naples299 said:

I like the short messages myself if you can't take the time to respond to hello your not who I want to talk to anyway

So you want them to take the time to reply, but you cannot take the time to send more than a simple"hello" to make your message stand out slightly from the spam "hello" message they get.....

[co****]

I have often said things like hello sweetheart I think you're very beautiful and would love to know you . They never respond but if I put hey they respond why?

[ey****]

1 hour ago, colbert496 said:

I have often said things like hello sweetheart I think you're very beautiful and would love to know you . They never respond but if I put hey they respond why?

your first message isn't conversational either.

Sweetheart = already using pet names

I think you're beautiful = yes, and? so you've come in with a pet name to tell someone about your boner

would love to know you - I mean, of course, but you haven't actually asked or offered anything conversational to get to know them

[Deleted Member]

Its that or a d pic whadda ya want?

[Du****]

9 minutes ago, improblydown said:

Its that or a d pic whadda ya want?

Grammar.

[Ceejayuk]

2 hours ago, colbert496 said:

I have often said things like hello sweetheart I think you're very beautiful and would love to know you . They never respond but if I put hey they respond why?

Different things work for different people, they're could be several reasons why.

No one is saying you absolutely have to say more than "HI". They are simply explaining why for them personally, a "Hi" message does not work.

For example maybe simply the people in this thread get lots of"hi" messages, so a normal hi message does not stand out enough from others to spend the time to deal with.

Maybe the ones you have said hello sweetheart etc too, dont want to be called sweetheart by a stranger.

Maybe the ones you have said hi too, have not recieved that many hi messages, or maybe sent dick pics etc so they respond to your message.

There is no one method that works for everyone.

At the end of the day, the people who agree with the OP are simply stating that for them, a simple"Hi" message does not work.

I really do not get why some people seem to have an issue, if you want to send a simple hi, then fair enough, you are free to do so, you just wont get a response from people who agree with the op. :)

[ey****]

47 minutes ago, improblydown said:

Its that or a d pic whadda ya want?

for pretty much every other guy - this is the very low standard you have to simply be above 

[Fa****]

47 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Grammar.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yes please. Amen to grammar

[BigPolly]

10 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Grammar.

You win the internet for today 😂

[Sn****]

I’d much rather have someone just say hello then “I’m going to own you” or “you will be my sub one day soon” as an opening. 🤢

[Du****]

46 minutes ago, SnowWhite90 said:

I’d much rather have someone just say hello then “I’m going to own you” or “you will be my sub one day soon” as an opening. 🤢

Agreed, but that’s a choice between “I don’t know if I want to chat with you” and “I definitely don’t want to chat with you” 😆 Will they ever learn?!

[Ceejayuk]

47 minutes ago, SnowWhite90 said:

I’d much rather have someone just say hello then “I’m going to own you” or “you will be my sub one day soon” as an opening. 🤢

Well yes, they are not great openings either.

[Ad****]

Monday at 07:32 AM, Ceejayuk said:

Different things work for different people, they're could be several reasons why.

No one is saying you absolutely have to say more than "HI". They are simply explaining why for them personally, a "Hi" message does not work.

For example maybe simply the people in this thread get lots of"hi" messages, so a normal hi message does not stand out enough from others to spend the time to deal with.

Maybe the ones you have said hello sweetheart etc too, dont want to be called sweetheart by a stranger.

Maybe the ones you have said hi too, have not recieved that many hi messages, or maybe sent dick pics etc so they respond to your message.

There is no one method that works for everyone.

At the end of the day, the people who agree with the OP are simply stating that for them, a simple"Hi" message does not work.

I really do not get why some people seem to have an issue, if you want to send a simple hi, then fair enough, you are free to do so, you just wont get a response from people who agree with the op. :)

The OP asked a question. "How many think it's ok...?". So you should expect to get answers both for and against.

A lot of responses made assumptions about what motivates people to use those openers, so you should expect to see a lot of responses attempting to clarify what their actual motivation is.

Simply put, you cant fault people for responding "yes I do that, and this is why" when the OP asked who is ok with doing it, and indicated they didn't understand why.

[Ceejayuk]

7 hours ago, Adventure101 said:

The OP asked a question. "How many think it's ok...?". So you should expect to get answers both for and against.

A lot of responses made assumptions about what motivates people to use those openers, so you should expect to see a lot of responses attempting to clarify what their actual motivation is.

Simply put, you cant fault people for responding "yes I do that, and this is why" when the OP asked who is ok with doing it, and indicated they didn't understand why.

I am not faulting people for that. Its more some of them seem to be taking it personally that people like the op, do not like simple Hi messages, like its a personal attack on them, when its not. Some simply cannot seem to accept its simply down to peoples own personal preferences. 
 

Edited June 3, 2022 by Ceejayuk

[En****]

I don't mind an initial short greeting but pet peeves include:

1. Expecting me to carry the conversation
2. Asking me questions that makes it obvious the person did not perform even a cursory review of my profile
3. Talking/asking me about sexual stuff right out of the gate (in the first post). 
4. Asking to move off this site's chat to another chat platform in three (3) or less posts.

And I do try to respond to anyone who sends me a chat as I would IRL (even if it's just the "No Thanks. Not interested" for the above Pet Peeves and especially 3 & 4 ).

[Feefee-4544]

Pre typed generic messages are a no for me...
First messages of what sexually gratifying act they wish to do to me as a first message also induces a block and hide too.
Just a simple introduction message and maybe a polite question leading for me to want to reply is perfect x

[Deleted Member]

How they message you, is how they will love you...
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Platonically or otherwise...
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The comparison of effort is quite revealing, actually... 🤔
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That's what I've noticed... 👀
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(I dislike the way we're all ***d into selling ourselves with a cold-call instead of attempting to communicate, it loses all meaning?). 💔
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The psychology of effort speaks volumes about your character, remember that. 💯
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It takes effort to know whether the effort is warranted, (or not?), too, strangely...? 🙄
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Just my observations... 😕

[cr****]

Why say more. Many times i have and get no response at all. Hello is a good start

[Du****]

2 hours ago, critter13 said:

Why say more. Many times i have and get no response at all. Hello is a good start

Sorry, it really isn’t. “Hello” tells me nothing; “Nice feet” doesn’t tell me much more. Whoever initiates the conversation needs to provide the fuel - a spark won’t ignite without it.

[ca****]

I personally blame woman in general for this Unfortunetly. The majority of woman in an Internet dating arena do not respond with an equal level of attention to initial conversations simply because of the ratio of male to female factor. Which is understandable to some point. Many woman will reply to all inbox rather than an odd selected few so naturally their replies are short, empty and often just pointless. Consider the amount of times ppl have wrote interesting intros to be ignored or to get fake profiles. I use to send funny, interesting intros, different and possibly thought provoking however like so many in this environent i got tired of the one liner responses and empty exchanges because in general woman online are far to delusional in expectations possibly created by the simple ratio factor. I personally am drained of bothering with actually really trying and that is purely due to the quality of responses or any at all. I still however will try atleast some compliment however I don't think first messages are anything to take into consideration anymore in this enviroment. Sometimes a simple hello could be asking many questions like are you a chatter, are you even answering, are you actually interested and so on. You could look at it as a smile across the room. I think expecting anything more in this enviroment is unfair when everyone knows that online is so much hard work. Note the truth is you are 1 out of hundreds ppl will have messaged, that's the unavoidable truth of being on the Internet. It is a numbers game.

Hello can be - a look
Hello can be - a smile
Nobody owes anyone anything and ppl thinking they do aren't worth messaging. Pleasantries, compliments aren't owed anyone to talk to them in these environments. It is perfectly exceptable to see if the person you're messagings profile is real or even awake ( all apps , all online )

If I really like the person for whatever reason and I really want to get their attention. I'm not going to use generic silver tongued slime. That's just as bad as nothing or even worse. I personally will anger, annoy and provoke a response. Much easier to get their unbalanced attention. Any person having expectations and a need for appeasement online isn't worth even messaging. It's online almost 99% of compliments are just lies and are 100% generic arse kissing. If anything I think the only reasonable expectation is honesty and straightforwardness. Unfortunetly ppl can't handle honesty and need appeasement.

Saying all the above I still wouldn't ever just say hello but only because I feel uncomfertable just saying hello. I just feel expecting more in a virtual online enviroment with so many variables is kinda sitting on a high horse looking down on ppl. I'm not here to feed ppls need for attention and appeasement

[Du****]

2 hours ago, cagedheart said:

I personally blame woman in general for this Unfortunetly. The majority of woman in an Internet dating arena do not respond with an equal level of attention to initial conversations simply because of the ratio of male to female factor. Which is understandable to some point. Many woman will reply to all inbox rather than an odd selected few so naturally their replies are short, empty and often just pointless. Consider the amount of times ppl have wrote interesting intros to be ignored or to get fake profiles. I use to send funny, interesting intros, different and possibly thought provoking however like so many in this environent i got tired of the one liner responses and empty exchanges because in general woman online are far to delusional in expectations possibly created by the simple ratio factor. I personally am drained of bothering with actually really trying and that is purely due to the quality of responses or any at all. I still however will try atleast some compliment however I don't think first messages are anything to take into consideration anymore in this enviroment. Sometimes a simple hello could be asking many questions like are you a chatter, are you even answering, are you actually interested and so on. You could look at it as a smile across the room. I think expecting anything more in this enviroment is unfair when everyone knows that online is so much hard work. Note the truth is you are 1 out of hundreds ppl will have messaged, that's the unavoidable truth of being on the Internet. It is a numbers game.

Hello can be - a look
Hello can be - a smile
Nobody owes anyone anything and ppl thinking they do aren't worth messaging. Pleasantries, compliments aren't owed anyone to talk to them in these environments. It is perfectly exceptable to see if the person you're messagings profile is real or even awake ( all apps , all online )

If I really like the person for whatever reason and I really want to get their attention. I'm not going to use generic silver tongued slime. That's just as bad as nothing or even worse. I personally will anger, annoy and provoke a response. Much easier to get their unbalanced attention. Any person having expectations and a need for appeasement online isn't worth even messaging. It's online almost 99% of compliments are just lies and are 100% generic arse kissing. If anything I think the only reasonable expectation is honesty and straightforwardness. Unfortunetly ppl can't handle honesty and need appeasement.

Saying all the above I still wouldn't ever just say hello but only because I feel uncomfertable just saying hello. I just feel expecting more in a virtual online enviroment with so many variables is kinda sitting on a high horse looking down on ppl. I'm not here to feed ppls need for attention and appeasement

“I blame women”. Funny, that. TLDR

[Feefee-4544]

I blame women 😒🙄 😉 😄 🤣

[cr****]

Does not tell you anything but it starts the conversation and you go from there. Same as if you met in person. You start with hello