Is a dom a dom all the time

[Deleted Member]

To be honest I'm 24/7/365 dom can't see myself in any other aspect it comes natural to me. I like to be in control but also give that caring vibe but it just depends on the situation whether I'll be a soft Dom or more ***ful dom. Like for example someone fucks up on a truck at work and I have to get them to understand it's not the way they're attempting to do it because it'll mess up something. I'll will show them how to do it and get it done the right way. Now in the bed room I'll sit there and guide my sub into what ever I want her to do or I'll say things in a seductive voice for her to feel wanted and want to give up control with a little of an assertive en***d don't know why but usually works for me .

[Gr****]

Start with... Whotf is Normal?!

[Mi****]

Saturday at 06:55 PM, Grnidgirl said:

Start with... Whotf is Normal?!

In this community, especially as a outside, we are far from "normal" And to A "vanilla" person, we are a taboo culture/lifestyle.

[Deleted Member]

I’m a dom and I have have a dominant personality but if this questions is gear at like can we be regular females sometimes and then jump into that domme mentality that I would say yes sometimes I don’t wanna *** you to suck anything I just wanna chill and cuddle Soo idk 🤷🏾‍♀️

[Deleted Member]

I am a Dominant, primarily around the M/s sector, and I must say that it reflects within all aspects of my life. However, this may be because I commit to 24/7 lifestyle dynamics, whereas other individuals tend to be hobbyists in regards to the BDSM lifestyle.

[Sw****]

I'm not a Dom all the time. In fact some would consider me submissive and mouse like in my daily life. For me as a Dom it's a mood. Its a little hard for me to switch it on and off. I have to get myself mentally prepared.

[AU****]

What a great question!

In my opinion, I don't believe so. I personally think there's always and there should always be room for learning. Sticking to one role is almost like being vanilla in the kink world, basic, *** and boring. You can't be a dom all the time. The best answer I can give you is as long as you are a human, you should feel and live like a human rather than forcing yourself. I've done that and I've been a narcissist. It's just self-wrecking thing, so always keep some extra room in your mind and heart to be open for learning and experiencing new things. That's where soft and hard limits come to play, so you know what you'll never do and when to say "maybe."

I hope that helps.

[TheSpicyCleaner]

On 7/27/2022 at 10:44 AM, Th4tFl0w3rL4dy said:

I often say that IF people were to find out about it they'd probably be less shocked about the kinks and more shocked that I'm submissive. Outside the bedroom I'm blunt, straightforward, and I take zero shit from anyone, much less a man lol. If people who knew me knew what I was into they'd be amazed to see a man slap me and live to tell the tale lol. 

Oh I feel this so so strongly.... Thank you for sharing ❤️ And those who do learn of my sub side assume I'm bratty when I couldn't be further from that. Cheeky yes but never defiant. Day to day I'm very strong willed, organising everything and everyone, getting everything done, running everything. So it's just such a divine pleasure to turn my busy brain off and receive so much praise for doing as I'm told.

[4R****]

There’s a difference between being “A Dominant” and being “dominant”. The OP asked the question “is A Dominant A Dominant all the time? (Note the emphasis on the two “A’s”). I would say in many cases the answer is likely to be “yes”. And it certainly is in my case.

Had the question been phased slightly differently….. “Is A Dominant dominant all the time?” then the answer in many cases is likely to be “no”. Again it certainly is in my case.

There’s a difference between having a specific title and being in character. I’m A Dominant all the time but much of my time is being dad, employee, boyfriend, neighbour, customer etc etc etc. I spend very little time actually being ‘dominant’. Partly because it’s exhausting but mainly because if I were to be that way with the wrong people I’d end up causing myself a lot of problems.

I have a natural dominant nature so tend to be a leader in day to day life, but I’m just being me, there’s no ‘power play’ as such. I save that for when the time (and the audience) is right.

[Sa****]

Unless they are wearing a very heavy figurative “mask”, no. Humans are variable by nature, some feel stuck thigh and can’t/won’t flex

[esoteric]

People can definitely be submissive in one situation and Dominant in another. I know of many people who work in jobs where they are in positions where they have to be the people who are in control all of the time, and when they come how and are with their partners they are able to let all of that go and be extremely submissive. 

The opposite can be true as well, where someone has had either life or work circumstances that wind them up being in very submissive positions for one reason or another, but when it comes to this area of their life, they are "allowed" to let their Dominant nature shine through.

[Queen_Holzripper]

My husband and I switch but I am very submissive when it comes to it alot because I love pleasing him and I love being spanked and have less power to him

[tu****]

Reality- Fiction-Fantasy
Have you read or watched 50 Shades of Grey?
Have you read The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy?
The Story of "O"? The Emmanuelle books or movies?
All fictional and fantasy. All the author's attempt to entertain. All the author's perspective of what BDSM is. And all HEAVY on poetic license...
That means they made shit up cause it sounded good and was more entertaining than reality and would sell better and put more *** in their pockets.
Are their kernels of truth in the writing? Sure, in my opinion, Anne Rice captured the mindset of a submissive in her Beauty trilogy. But the rest of it was fictional and fantasy and over the top.
I won't dissect 50 Shades of Mr. Grey doesn't exist.
The BDSM lifestyle is about Reality. Yes, there is fantasy to play out in scene play. But if you think you are going to be swept away to a French Manor and indoctrinated into a life of submissiveness, or swept off your feet by a billionaire with a dungeon, never mind being a submissive in a castle with Ladies and Lords training you and using you for their pleasure and amusement, come down to earth.
BDSM has worries and cares. Sometimes there is a happily ever after, other times there is the reality of a break-up, the searching endlessly. It requires caution and care not only before giving consent or accepting submission, but also after.
There are decisions in life that must be made in most relationships.
Is the compatibility "right". How are the bills paid? How are new toys paid for? How much discretion will you have? Medical care and insurance choices, are among a multitude of things the books and movies never show.
If you got into BDSM because of a book or a movie, the community will welcome you, but the fiction and fantasy need to be left at the gates upon entry and knowledge of the reality must be absorbed as freely as the fiction that got you here was.
If not, your time in the lifestyle will be filled with frustration as you search without hope of the fictional ideal that was written only to entertain, not educate.
Sir...E$e

[Deleted Member]

Not at all, I'm only a Dom during playtime. Outside of that I'm a giant nerd and hopeless romantic. Similar to another Dom I know who claims the role during playtime but in his day to day his wife wears the pants and if he could he'd just want to be a stay at home dad and take care of his kids and the house. People have different strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes.

[Bl****]

With the wide variety of kinks, personalities, lifestyles and life situations, there are many tipes of doms depending from person to person. . . Im a dom at playtime but probably mainly due to the fact that im dominant/stigma/alpha in normal situations aswel but with that i do hand over the control to certain women as reward or if the situation or/and the women is right (dosnt happen very often or with many subs, there ha sto be the right connection).

So yeah ive met alot of doms that only practice it in the bedroom and others that are permanently dom.

Just my own opinion