When is it the point to set ground rules?

[Deleted Member]

I’ve always thought when you were both ready to start a dynamic that setting grpund rules was a good thing. However, I’ve ran into people who think ground rules aren’t needed or ghost after starting to discuss ground rules. Maybe I’m wrong then?

I’d like to know everyone’s thoughts, everyone is welcome to answer!

[Deleted Member]

I think if they ghost after ground rules are established then good riddance to them as they probably wouldn't follow them anyway. Once a dynamic is established then ground rules and limits should be agreed so both parties know where they stand

[Deleted Member]

Ground rules are important because there’s a clear standard put in place so everyone knows what’s expected.

Those that think they sent needed or ghosted, they would’ve ***d the situation and made the experience that much more worse..

[Deleted Member]

Everyone is weird. But in a true dynamic. Before getting serious. General ground rules. Or rules in general are a must. Especially if not confined to just the bedroom

[EMandM]

I'd say, if someone doesn't want ground rules, they're just an ***r pretending to be a Dom.

[Deleted Member]

Form the beginning

[Pe****]

I think setting ground rules before beginning anything is essential. I’d question the intentions of anyone that wanted to leap straight into something without at least a discussion first.

[ey****]

Every relationship has rules

whether that is how much the other person puts into the household pot or what constitutes as cheating.  Though a lot of these are kinda common sense rules.

Are there rules you think are particularly important to have?  If so, they're required.

[ki****]

I find grounds rules are best talked about during the getting to know you stage it helps show any red flags or incompatibilities

[Ca****]

Ground rules, hard/ soft limits, agreed safe words and open alongside honest communication is always needed in a d/s dynamic even in vanilla relationships setting out the parameters of your partnership is necessary. As such in relation to those people whom assert ground rules or ghost you for establishing boundaries and your conditions for a relationship aren't worth anyones time romantically in my opinion as these are massive red flags. Hope you've found this comment useful and reassuring init.

[Go****]

Personally we think ground rules are a must, that and communication of likes and dislikes with full honesty. Rules can always be discussed and amended. No one can say they didn't know if it's honestly communicated.

[typhoon2]

Ground rules start really with one's profile. Stating what criteria you seek and what you want to avoid are ground rules, such as seeking a male Dominant or not wishing for over 50s, for instance. If anyone ignores those statements then they're already ignoring your limits. Every conversation therafter adds to the ground rules - they evolve as the relationship grows. Either party may wish for certain speeds at which rules are set or sequence or whatever but it should always be mutual.

[Deleted Member]

Rules are introduced in such a way they are remembered and respected. Never just listed. Teaching moments as the moment dictates assures memory gain and function.

[Ca****]

Whom assert ground rules aren't essential * ...

[FF****]

Nothing wrong, don't let yourself be presured

[Sc****]

For me ground rules are a must around safe sex and consent but not around who my partner can be involved with in our open relationship

[Deleted Member]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate it and that’s kinda what I was thinking. I’ve only recently stepped back into the community a little over a month ago. Wasn’t sure if I had missed something or the idea of ground rules had changed. Glad to know it’s still the same!

Also, hope this helps others like it’s helped me 😊

[ge****]

If anyone tells you ground rules aren't needed or ghost you for raising the subject then they aren't/weren't worth knowing - everyone has limits and boundaries, everyone has ways they like to play, and things they don't like - anyone saying they don't is a liar.
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Anyone suggesting you should conform to and accept their rules without consideration to your own should be avoided.
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You are not in the slightest bit wrong, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise, yep you guessed it, should be avoided.
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As for when to discuss them - in terms of formalising them I'd suggest once you get to a point where you're both agreeable to taking things further, however in order to get to that point it's inevitable that they will have been discussed informally to an extent as part of the getting to know you process.

[ne****]

You have to set your boundaries and rules.. especially if you are adding people. It’s a level of comfort and communication…

[na****]

Clear conversation and interaction is key in any relationship or the forming of one. Regardless of the dynamic. Trust, respect and loyalty are key sweet 💞

[Se****]

I agree with much that has been written already. For me, I talk about rules early on and often show prospective subs a copy of rules previously used to provide a) an indication of what I expect, b) an opportunity to talk about any concerns and c) negotiate rules (as appropriate). For a play session with a uncollared sub, rules are often verbal. But with a collared sub rules are written down and previously agreed.

[Lord_Talion]

I state ground rules to potential property before establishing ownership so they know exactly whatbi expect

[Co****]

I always discuss ground rules and limits up front with the understanding that some of them may need to be adjusted over time. Those discussions are a framework for basic consent and people who don’t respect your need/desire to address that upfront are showing their lack of interest in your agency and in your right to give and withhold consent. Assuming they are predators is entirely reasonable and warranted at that point.

[TheBookCollector]

Everyone is different, i prefer to feel a connection to my partner before setting ground rules. Even they I tend to build them up as we become more comfortable.
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But always.after a period of regular.dating although i may suggest she would look better in a dress or wearing red lipstick after a few sates and see what happens.
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If that goes well then its time to start having serious discussions about what type of dynamic we want to create, any no go areas, and ground rules. Sometimes.they are also there to help her achieve something she wants eg giving up smoking, reducing alcohol consumption, losingnweight etc.
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[FF****]

No rules or boundary discussions? Sounds Iike amateur, unempathetic dom talk to me