Thoughts?

[Deleted Member]

Is it a Dynamic if there is no contract? Verbal written or otherwise?

[Ma****]

Yes. There is nothing set way or rules to how a dynamic works. There are what ever you want them to be..

[RedLena]

Absolutely not

[TheDeathRictus]

I'm not convinced you need a contract so much as an awareness, and an educated and open conversation upon, the limits of all parties involved. Wether to let that result in a written or verbal contract is more a formality for ceremonies sake in my humble opinion, and should remain such. The key is the communication that could lead to such a decision, and finding a partner that would be open to it

[Da****]

I always have to have a written contract, agreed upon and signed before I do any BDSM so I would say absolutely NOT.
Contracts are necessary not only in letting a submissive know what is expected, rules, rewards, punishments, safe words, limits…
But also lists what a submissive can expect from their dom.:.
And what the dom must uphold as well.
It helps to protect all involved and streamlines it all

[ge****]

A dynamic is however two or more people choose to define it and it doesn't necessarily have to involve anything formal like a contract.
.
So long as those involved are sufficiently informed and knowledgeable, and agreed boundaries and limits are respected you don't need anything else.

[un****]

for anything long term no at the least i’d argue it’d have to be a lengthy conversation covering everything and you can revisit it later to add anything new that you discover that being said if you both like a contract then use that but i’d make sure its moreso a living document that can be revisited as needed

[RedLena]

We are talking about bdsm dynamics if you don’t have a partnership/relationships with that person and know then that well, then in any type of more extreme play you should have stuff written down, simple formal
Contracts( there’s plenty examples on google)
But both need to stay safe and be protected, i have seen “courageous subs” that were thinking they take it hard and then fainted at the end… just saying
Look at things from all aspects

[Co****]

Always need to have clear guidance, limits and expectations set out if not in a written format at least a verbal one. If a partner ever told me it wasn't needed it would a major red flag for me

[Do****]

Yes. If there is something you are doing together then that is a dynamic between you. Is can be fluid, evolving. The Dom/me will have given it some kind of a shape from the chat you have had but it doesn’t always need a contract.

[CopperKnob]

On the basis that a contract isn't worth the paper it's written on then yes, a contract does not make it a dynamic, it is not a requirement. What's going to happen when someone doesn't follow one of the clauses because it won't stand up in a court of law.
.
How much weight are you/your partner/s placing on a contract? What does it mean to you/them?
Those are the questions you need to be asking yourselves. And it is a question for you as an individual. People here will give you answers based on what a contract/dynamic/BDSM relationship looks like to them but, they're only personal opinions. There is no 'right' way to kink.

[Br****]

Well yea what are you a lawyer? Paralegal? Sheldon offa big bang? You got this just Kno and I'm just a random person passing by telling you this shyt so ya na ur Gucci 2 tymes

[Br****]

Long term do to dom shyt yes u should have a contract a bih could be mistreated legally and get u cased up.

[Da****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

A dynamic is however two or more people choose to define it and it doesn't necessarily have to involve anything formal like a contract.
.
So long as those involved are sufficiently informed and knowledgeable, and agreed boundaries and limits are respected you don't need anything else.

Wouldn’t that be what she’s referring to as far as verbal

[Leisa]

The answer to your question is subjective. My first thought was no. If there’s not an understanding, guidelines, expectations, etc there can be no dynamic but then I started thinking about it. I think with the newer generation things are being done differently than we do so that’s up to the individuals involved. Even play partners have a dynamic of sorts.

[ey****]

contracts are purely for symbolism and so aren't relevant to everyone's dynamic

remember also they're not worth the paper printed on in any form of court or dispute.  purely ceremonial.

But, I guess, for it to be a dynamic you must've at least agreed you're in a dynamic? And talked about how you do things?

[ge****]

57 minutes ago, DaddysHere2please said:

Wouldn’t that be what she’s referring to as far as verbal

The distinction being "contract" - it doesn't have to be quite as formal as that either verbally or on paper - the key is that all are in agreement as to what the dynamic is and that doesn't necessarily need a "contract"

[Da****]

11 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

The distinction being "contract" - it doesn't have to be quite as formal as that either verbally or on paper - the key is that all are in agreement as to what the dynamic is and that doesn't necessarily need a "contract"

But if you come to agreements verbally then it would constitute a verbal contract…
However I believe this is doing a D/s relationship a disservice by not having it be a legit contract! If you can’t take the time to sit with the person you’re in the dynamic with and go over wants, needs, expectations, limits etc…
Do you really care enough to say you’re in a dynamic?
This kind of cavalier attitude is honestly a slap in the face to the way BDSM should be handled!
I guess we can let the person asking the question but seems to me if you talk about these things than that’s a verbal contract…
But submissives deserve more, after all they are giving themselves over to a dom, and as a dom we should realize how special that is and treat it as such by giving the time it deserves

[Leisa]

9 minutes ago, DaddysHere2please said:

But if you come to agreements verbally then it would constitute a verbal contract…
However I believe this is doing a D/s relationship a disservice by not having it be a legit contract! If you can’t take the time to sit with the person you’re in the dynamic with and go over wants, needs, expectations, limits etc…
Do you really care enough to say you’re in a dynamic?
This kind of cavalier attitude is honestly a slap in the face to the way BDSM should be handled!
I guess we can let the person asking the question but seems to me if you talk about these things than that’s a verbal contract…
But submissives deserve more, after all they are giving themselves over to a dom, and as a dom we should realize how special that is and treat it as such by giving the time it deserves

I’m in law and there is no such thing as a legal contract in my world. It’s not binding on anyone, will not help you in the event of charges, and will not protect you civilly.

[Da****]

10 minutes ago, Leisa said:

I’m in law and there is no such thing as a legal contract in my world. It’s not binding on anyone, will not help you in the event of charges, and will not protect you civilly.

Why are we speaking legally?? The point is to put into it clearly what you expect of your sub, and what they can expect of you! It’s taking the time to show them they matter! Nowhere did I say it was legally binding…
So thank you for the expert advise…
But that literally has NOTHING to do with this topic or conversation…
It was asked if we don’t have a contract verbal or written is there a dynamic.
My point is if you care about your dynamic then you put it into a contract…
Have no idea why you’re talking charges!
I’m saying someone cares enough to have the conversations that matter then you’re in a dynamic….
Good lord

[Deleted Member]

I didn’t think I’d spark this much conversation. I appreciate all the feedback. I think I asked this question hypothetically because I know the answer for me personally. I agree with a lot of what’s been said here. I think what’s important is being clear and not leaving room for misunderstanding and confusion. In my opinion the word Dynamic is just another word for relationship. Relationship In whatever capacity that may be. If you never come to an agreement about being in relationship you aren’t in one right? I know that there are certain things within D/s dynamics that make it necessary for you to have more in depth conversations.. and as you continue into that dynamic discussions continue… Right? For the sake of the question “Contracts” may change, because interests change.. but if those discussions aren’t being had then what.. and if there is no foundation to base that off of then what’s really going on here lol. I gotta say I’m kinda surprised at the direction some of the comments went also because who’s talking legality? My question was purely about clarity between parties. If everyone is doing what they’re supposed to do, that shouldn’t be a concern. That’s just my opinion. I’m just seeking understanding. I really didn’t expect a response like this though. So thank y’all again for all the feedback.

[ge****]

8 hours ago, DaddysHere2please said:

But if you come to agreements verbally then it would constitute a verbal contract…
However I believe this is doing a D/s relationship a disservice by not having it be a legit contract! If you can’t take the time to sit with the person you’re in the dynamic with and go over wants, needs, expectations, limits etc…
Do you really care enough to say you’re in a dynamic?
This kind of cavalier attitude is honestly a slap in the face to the way BDSM should be handled!
I guess we can let the person asking the question but seems to me if you talk about these things than that’s a verbal contract…
But submissives deserve more, after all they are giving themselves over to a dom, and as a dom we should realize how special that is and treat it as such by giving the time it deserves

I think we're in danger of straying into the world of semantics and definitions here - however to look at the definition of "contract" it's:
.
" a written or spoken agreement, especially one concerning employment, sales, or tenancy, that is intended to be en***able by law."
.
The key being those last three words - I personally don't see a dynamic as falling into that and as @Leisa has stated would have no standing legally anyway.
.
Putting that aside though, a dynamic is simply a relationship between two people, and just like any other relationship doesn't necessarily need to have any kind of formal agreement behind it.
.
A simple discussion about likes/dislikes, limits and boundaries is all that is needed without it having to be formalised in any way - in fact any time I've played that's exactly what has happened.
.
No cavalier attitude here, I don't enter into kink play with anyone until I am comfortable that mutual respect and trust are in place and we have an understanding of each other, our boundaries etc.
.
Now that all said I know people who do use formalised contracts and that's all fine too - but it's a subjective topic that is down to the individuals involved to agree on.

[ad****]

"Having a meaning that implies action or change.1. Of (chiefly verbal) meaning: relating to actions, events, happenings, and processes" (oed)

The first thing to understand about the word dynamic is however the ground rules are set or agreed, the very meaning of the word has an element of fluidity. Every relationship you have, friends, family, partners is dynamic, the 'contracts' within those are formed not by explicit agreement but by ethical standards specific to individual cultures and subcultures and there is often complex crossover. We often speak to our grandparents differently than we do our siblings for example.
BDSM is no different in many ways, however the activities we choose to participate in with our partner often require a different level or style of communication.
Whatever the context or style or legality of 'contract' the ground rule is the same, if grandma says you can't have a biscuit, you can't have a biscuit, if partner says you can't put your finger they, you can't but your finger there. Consent is the core, and unironically is also dynamic.

[Goddess_Fifi]

No, what is the actual point.

[Leisa]

20 hours ago, DaddysHere2please said:

Why are we speaking legally?? The point is to put into it clearly what you expect of your sub, and what they can expect of you! It’s taking the time to show them they matter! Nowhere did I say it was legally binding…
So thank you for the expert advise…
But that literally has NOTHING to do with this topic or conversation…
It was asked if we don’t have a contract verbal or written is there a dynamic.
My point is if you care about your dynamic then you put it into a contract…
Have no idea why you’re talking charges!
I’m saying someone cares enough to have the conversations that matter then you’re in a dynamic….
Good lord

Look at your own statement which says legally binding. Check yourself before trying to make a pointless point.