Ne**** Posted October 30, 2023 Author Posted October 30, 2023 9 hours ago, Velicious said: I’ve gotten some flack, too, having to tell people that meeting me does not mean they get to touch me. Gross. Understand too well. I’m sorry for those ***s.
Ne**** Posted October 30, 2023 Author Posted October 30, 2023 9 hours ago, DenverKitten said: I use this site for community, conversation, and friendship with like minded individuals. I like kink, but that doesn’t mean I’m up for anyone’s offer. To assume that anyone who likes kink must want to have random hookups or isn’t looking for a long term relationship is ignorant and childish. A real dynamic takes trust and respect and much more than a few DMs. You do you, let those people weed themselves out. Very well said.
Deleted Member Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 It’s all about how you view it, no one should judge that or admonish you based on what you want/prefer. I find that rude! On the other hand, they can just use it as they want as long as it doesn’t affect the person they are in touch with. Be you :)
ge**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 4 hours ago, Aman94 said: I find it as a waist of time and proves to me how lost are on here just to waist the day away. Have had no lucky had it’s not without much effort. Show me just how annoying these type of site’s are Genuine question - if you find it a waste of time and annoying, why do you persist with it? . I've been here two years, have chatted to numerous people, beyond a coffee meet nothing else has "happened" yet I don't consider it either of those things - perhaps adjust your approach and expectations and you won't find it a waste of time or annoying? 🤔
ey**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 I do sometimes feel that there are problems when there are too many people under one umbrella. But that, is also something difficult to control. So, alas... there are people who think Kink/Fetish/BDSM means easy sex (it's not) or 'rough sex' (it can, but 'rough sex' is usually... I hate to say it... vanilla. and even stuff like a light bondage, blindfolds, etc. is practically mainstream) while at the other end there those who hyperfocus on the DS in bDSm - and there's nothing wrong with D/s - but it's something which doesn't really work with one-off hook ups or similar. And that many it might be really slow to go from a first discussion to anything which resembles 'play' In generally I won't say "hook ups" isn't part of Kink/Fetish/BDSM but it's... different... it's easier if you're kinda active in in-person circles, munches/events/etc because then you become someone kinda known and then you're out somewhere, with someone who is already out and it's "let's play", or "you boy, you've got a foot fetish right? I've got sore feet" To kinda try to push for hooks ups with strangers often fires a big beacon in the air which suggests you don't really understand or know what you're doing. And, alas, that is unlikely to get you a response. But is like catnip to scammers. If someone doesn't have NSA or "i'm interested in hook ups" on their profile - assume they're not here for that.
Deleted Member Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 Well it is a hookup app for sexual preferences, so it's kinda strange you think you can find a relationship here
ad**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 I believe this is an everything site. The looking for options here are much clearer than many dating sites. My observation of looking at a large number of profiles is that people are looking for different things, ranging from a one off experiment into something they are curious about through to lifestyle, friends and/or marriage minded. I like that this site enables that. As with every other social corner of the internet it has its problems. I dislike that majority male behaviour makes it harder for frankly everyone to find what they're looking for and I dislike that so many profiles tell me nothing about what an individual is looking for, that for me, makes it hard not only to choose who to message but also what to say
ey**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 44 minutes ago, YourDarkestDesires said: Well it is a hookup app for sexual preferences, so it's kinda strange you think you can find a relationship here actually, it's a dating app so it's strange people think they can find hook ups here
aa**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I do sometimes feel that there are problems when there are too many people under one umbrella. But that, is also something difficult to control. So, alas... there are people who think Kink/Fetish/BDSM means easy sex (it's not) or 'rough sex' (it can, but 'rough sex' is usually... I hate to say it... vanilla. and even stuff like a light bondage, blindfolds, etc. is practically mainstream) while at the other end there those who hyperfocus on the DS in bDSm - and there's nothing wrong with D/s - but it's something which doesn't really work with one-off hook ups or similar. And that many it might be really slow to go from a first discussion to anything which resembles 'play' In generally I won't say "hook ups" isn't part of Kink/Fetish/BDSM but it's... different... it's easier if you're kinda active in in-person circles, munches/events/etc because then you become someone kinda known and then you're out somewhere, with someone who is already out and it's "let's play", or "you boy, you've got a foot fetish right? I've got sore feet" To kinda try to push for hooks ups with strangers often fires a big beacon in the air which suggests you don't really understand or know what you're doing. And, alas, that is unlikely to get you a response. But is like catnip to scammers. If someone doesn't have NSA or "i'm interested in hook ups" on their profile - assume they're not here for that. I think you’ve pretty well hit the nail on the head there have to say that’s very well summed up
aa**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 45 minutes ago, YourDarkestDesires said: Well it is a hookup app for sexual preferences, so it's kinda strange you think you can find a relationship here Then why does it give you the option for long term?
Ki**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 It’s actually not a hookup site but they have heavily pushed advertising to the non kink community so we are inundated with those types now. The same ones who act rude and then get blocked. It’s an annoying strategy for kink users but it’s paying the bills, so I guess it will continue. Don’t worry about what other people think. You do you.
aa**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 1 hour ago, Eli19 said: Is this not a hookup app? It’s a mix of styles really it’s a mix of tinder Facebook/twitter or something like Reddit and the more traditional dating apps like match but it caters solely to those with a taste for kink bdsm and stuff
bu**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 The option for nsa non monogamy stuff is there I guess it might just be rarer to find people with the monogamy tag or open to long term? Either way if you're going to be with someone you were gonna meet anyways right? So even if it was originally a one night there's a chance that it goes great and becomes more too
ey**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 1 hour ago, Eli19 said: Is this not a hookup app? no. you're in the wrong place.
To**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 Tbh no but maybe that's coz I'm old, no one wants me ☹️☹️🤣🤣
Ta**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 1 hour ago, Eli19 said: Is this not a hookup app? You might wanna pull the app description in the store back up and re-read it. This is a community first and foremost. It also happens to have a mechanism for those interested in dating. Nowhere in the app description is the concept of hookups so much as implied.
Deleted Member Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 This is for like minded people to connect, grow, and explore. If you’re here to hookup, it should be indicated on your profile, and if it’s not, then obviously that’s not what you’re here for. It’s easy to look at profiles and see what people are wanting.
De**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 For all the people saying “this is a fetish site so it must be for hookups” - tell me you don’t actually understand kink, BDSM, fetish without telling me you don’t really understand kink, BDSM, fetish.
Ne**** Posted October 30, 2023 Author Posted October 30, 2023 4 hours ago, YourDarkestDesires said: Well it is a hookup app for sexual preferences, so it's kinda strange you think you can find a relationship here What? Where did you get that idea?
br**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 I didn't expect that many people would think that BDSM is just hook ups and kinda rough sex. Also a lot of people think that anyone in anything but Dom/Top roles is just a thing to have sex with. They don't even say hi and expect you to run to being dicked down and a punching bag for a random man on the internet. Not interested in anything about your desires, needs, limits... All this reminds me of FetLife at the time of 50 shades of grey.
Si**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 1 hour ago, DenverKitten said: For all the people saying “this is a fetish site so it must be for hookups” - tell me you don’t actually understand kink, BDSM, fetish without telling me you don’t really understand kink, BDSM, fetish. Bingo
Cu**** Posted October 30, 2023 Posted October 30, 2023 You’re not wrong. You are in charge of you. You joined here for your own reasons. No one else has a right to tell you what to do, unless you’re in a connection and you’re freely discussing what and how you might progress a joint interest, together. Until that point, we’re supposed to be adults, interacting politely, respecting others, being honest and truthful about ourselves towards others. No one has a right to start telling others what to do when they’re here, as long as they’re keeping within the code of conduct and terms and conditions, set up by the site’s originators. Fetish, is a wide open subject, which anyone can see from the immense lists of interests. We are not here to be told by other people, whom most of us don’t know, and have never met, that this is a hook up site for sex. We use it in a way that’s personal to us. However, if there’s a line within said code or terms, that say that this is a site to be used as a hook up for people to move towards sexual arrangements, then I stand corrected. I get the impression, but such a remark, that some people are making up their own rules to suit their own desires, just as I read the other day that a young woman was told that she had to have images of herself naked in order to be on this site.
Recommended Posts