Looks or Obedience in a slave

[St****]

Would you prefer someone who has an athletic body, well groomed, putting a lot of effort in looking good or someone who is more obedient, devoted ?

My thoughts
Getting somebody who looks good should better fulfill huntress instincts, as an achievement of winning something of a value. Getting someone who is already very docile should feel like ownership.

What are your thoughts ?

[ge****]

As a submissive I personally would rather give my submission to someone who looked for a connection and chemistry, that was on the same wavelength (albeit from the opposite side of the same coin) as me in their approach to D/s and who looked beyond the things you have mentioned.
.
Though I do appreciate they are factors in the process, I don't think it's as simple as an "either/or" view - in fact it's perfectly possible for a submissive to have both sets of qualities you mention.

[Se****]

What gemini_man said 👆🏻

Edited December 26, 2023 by FatefulDestiny

[CagedClitLvr]

Neither or. I enjoy feeling like I'm more than I am as most do. Challenge me, learn me. Vet. Too needy is a bad look on anyone. I take my time to value u as a person, ur needs, an assess what I can offer u then we hone in on those abilities and sharpen the rest. But to know what quality care u can recieve isn't apparent just by u asking would u cage me? Can I be your toilet mistress. I live the dynamic I redirect praise reward discipline teach punish and reward. It's all organic and never looks the same. Burn ur need for a script come get nurtured used legit

[ma****]

I like all body types. Love a girl with sexy soles and a delicious mouth

[Ma****]

Both

[Th****]

13 hours ago, Stacey98 said:

Would you prefer someone who has an athletic body, well groomed, putting a lot of effort in looking good or someone who is more obedient, devoted ?

My thoughts
Getting somebody who looks good should better fulfill huntress instincts, as an achievement of winning something of a value. Getting someone who is already very docile should feel like ownership.

What are your thoughts ?

Who is your question for? I'm assuming because of your forum selection it's aimed at afab Dtypes. Most that I know, myself included, want to have our brains stimulated and excited first and to be approached and treated as whole people. We want a whole person in return, not just asthetics or blind obedience. Even beautiful and perfectly obedient wouldn't be enough for me alone, I need fun and a compatible personality, too. 

 

[Th****]

1 hour ago, MasterAzzhole77 said:

Both

I think you may have wandered into the wrong forum.  

[pinky33]

I like em nasty

[Go****]

Obedience and commitment to filth is the key

[Co****]

16 hours ago, mammoth716 said:

I like all body types. Love a girl with sexy soles and a delicious mouth

I like when someone COMPLETELY ignores the topic and posts something utterly irrelevant-eyeroll- 😆

[Si****]

15 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

Who is your question for? I'm assuming because of your forum selection it's aimed at afab Dtypes. Most that I know, myself included, want to have our brains stimulated and excited first and to be approached and treated as whole people. We want a whole person in return, not just asthetics or blind obedience. Even beautiful and perfectly obedient wouldn't be enough for me alone, I need fun and a compatible personality, too. 

 

what do you mean by afab d types? i dont know all the community jargon acronyms and abbreves and i just like to try and educate myself on this kinda stuff, to be the best sub i can be

[ge****]

27 minutes ago, SitOnMyFacePlz916 said:

what do you mean by afab d types? i dont know all the community jargon acronyms and abbreves and i just like to try and educate myself on this kinda stuff, to be the best sub i can be

Assigned Female At Birth (AFAB) Dtypes (dominants)

[St****]

17 hours ago, ThaliaV said:

Who is your question for? I'm assuming because of your forum selection it's aimed at afab Dtypes. Most that I know, myself included, want to have our brains stimulated and excited first and to be approached and treated as whole people. We want a whole person in return, not just asthetics or blind obedience. Even beautiful and perfectly obedient wouldn't be enough for me alone, I need fun and a compatible personality, too. 

 

Yes, I would like Misteresses perspective. Would you like more of a compatible person as your romantic partner who is into bdsm or its for those who are just interested in kinky lifestyle? Both? I know some are looking for a kink only partner others for traditional relationship but with a kinky side

[Th****]

2 hours ago, SitOnMyFacePlz916 said:

what do you mean by afab d types? i dont know all the community jargon acronyms and abbreves and i just like to try and educate myself on this kinda stuff, to be the best sub i can be

Yes, as @gemini_mansaid AFAB is assigned female at birth, it's not specific to kink and bdsm. D type is an umbrella term for Dominants not all Dominants who are also women identify as "Mistress" or "Dommes" or *insert label here* 

[ge****]

19 minutes ago, Stacey98 said:

Yes, I would like Misteresses perspective. Would you like more of a compatible person as your romantic partner who is into bdsm or its for those who are just interested in kinky lifestyle? Both? I know some are looking for a kink only partner others for traditional relationship but with a kinky side

That's a somewhat different question to the one in your OP though - and the answer to that will very much change from person to person and even circumstance to circumstance.
.
The one key regardless of the type of relationship being sought is compatability - without that the relationship isn't worth having regardless of whether it's purely kink or something else.

[Th****]

14 minutes ago, Stacey98 said:

Yes, I would like Misteresses perspective. Would you like more of a compatible person as your romantic partner who is into bdsm or its for those who are just interested in kinky lifestyle? Both? I know some are looking for a kink only partner others for traditional relationship but with a kinky side

The answers to these questions will vary wildly between individuals. First lesson.... not every D type woman identifies as a "Mistress." Personally, the term makes me cringe a little, it doesn't suit me, but I have no qualms about others liking it for themselves. Domme, D type, or Dominant are all much more neutral when referring to a larger varied group. 

 

Romantic partnership and kink or bdsm partnerships aren't inherently the same thing. 

Also, as @gemini_manstated these are different questions than you have in your OP

[Th****]

35 minutes ago, Stacey98 said:

Yes, I would like Misteresses perspective. Would you like more of a compatible person as your romantic partner who is into bdsm or its for those who are just interested in kinky lifestyle? Both? I know some are looking for a kink only partner others for traditional relationship but with a kinky side

Really there will be people who want each of the scenarios you gave as examples. 

 

Some people look to find everything in one partner. Some people have separate romantic relationships and bdsm play partners, some people have both multiple romantic relationships and multiple bdsm partners. There are as many preferences as there are options. 

[Si****]

Wednesday at 07:26 PM, gemini_man said:

Assigned Female At Birth (AFAB) Dtypes (dominants)

much thanks to you and thaliav for the info

[ey****]

as someone who is neither overly attractive (certainly not your stereotype athletic gym hunk etc) nor blindly obedient

but who has relatively little problem in doing different types of play / relationships / etc
 

I suspect the answer is actually *neither* 

[Th****]

7 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

as someone who is neither overly attractive (certainly not your stereotype athletic gym hunk etc) nor blindly obedient

but who has relatively little problem in doing different types of play / relationships / etc
 

I suspect the answer is actually *neither* 

Blind obedience is boring and if all I needed was pretty or fun to look at I'd be swimming in submissives. 

Edited December 30, 2023 by ThaliaV

[sillysub]

i think you have to remember that not alot of subs are going to be fit or athletic. Athletic is something that not all people have or can help. some are just naturally clumsy or not very athetic by nature. that shouldn't disinterest a Domme for that reason. Also, yes blind obedience isn't fun. If the Domme is very strict, then well blind obedience will be difficult. I'd say it's definitely okay to be disobedient some and not athletic. what is more important in any dynamic than blind obedience or being well groomed is respect, honor, trust, communication, honesty, and loyalty. If a Domme can find that in a sub, then the rest will fall into place.

[Callmelittle1]

Interesting…
I’m described as athletic build and generally attractive.
I spiff up for going out and special occasions but day to day my beauty routine is pretty minimal. I keep washed up and on a daily basis something having my hair brushed to keep my lips from drying out is the biggest part I concern myself about.

I’m a submissive to submissives (honestly four of the Dominant people in recent past are all submissive to others). It’s part of my nature to submit. I top in play if the situation is right but it’s not my stasis.

I put makeup on and dress for them more than anything else. My looking nice as I’m sitting at their feet is part of giving myself to them as particularly one wants their possessions to be a reflection upon them . He loves to have his subs it seems as part of his look and displays us often.
I may be misunderstanding the intention of the question but I think maybe you are saying that you would rather your sub not to need a lot to make themselves feel comfortable with themselves so as not to take time from the daily service to you.
i.e. spending an hour or more in the morning with hair, makeup, etc.
This time could be making breakfast or giving you oral.


You asked opinions. I haven’t thought of the subject until now.

I can speak only from my perspective also.

I endeavor not to be high maintenance in general. I do my best to handle everything myself and only bother others for help if necessary.

I’d rather be of service than stand in front of a mirror hoping every strand of my hair is properly aligned or ponding shade of lipstick.

[Pneuma]

I think a good balance of both speaks volumes. I think fluidity is more important. You can implement many more scenarios if they are flexible.

[Rainydaye88]

To be fair, both are important to some degree for me.

I wouldn't say athletic, but someone who shows discipline in how they eat and uphold a workout routine is absolutely the type of person I would want to own. It does give the impression that I can train them to a specific routine and that they would uphold that with little resistance.

And obedience is absolutely a must for my specific needs. Like I like playing with brats, but if I'm looking for a potential nesting partner, I would want someone who is docile, humble, and highly logical.

I think the biggest concern that would make me say no to a sub would be if they aren't a grounded person (if they are expecting the dynamic to somehow fix something in them beyond the need to serve, but refuses the idea of therapy) or if they are lost in a fantasy of serving, but no real want to actually serve. (Starting off really passionate and eager to say yes to everything in the beginning, then just ghosting shortly after). I can understand being so excited to be owned, but I think the idea of a sub masking to just be owned is why there isn't much of a response rate. Don't be fake about what you want and accept that not every domme wants the same thing, so don't try to mold yourself to what the ideal sub should have.