Daddy vs dom?

January 26, 2024

Both have a dominant nature but I think the way that is expressed is different. Daddies are in control, but there’s a sense that he’s doing what’s best for you. A dom tends to be more ***ful and quick to “correct” their sub and *** and subjugation takes on a larger role.

A daddy may spank you, but a dom will beat you.

January 26, 2024

Y’all need to go online and do a single google search for “types of dominants in BDSM”. So many bad descriptions here. Please go read some of the well written articles. Bad Girls Bible did a very good job of explaining what they determined to be 19 types of dominants. People here are really sounding ignorant.

January 27, 2024

As an experienced daddy, I agree with what @subgenxbi said.

January 27, 2024

As a Dom who entered via a formal apprenticeship and has been active or around the scene for 21 years, I think you’re all very inexperienced and very confused about definitions. There are many types of dominants. Different types of daddies, different types of masters and very few of the people on here have any real knowledge of the scene. My advise stands. Look at established information sites, not dating sites for I formation. Then seek out a local much or exhibition to experience real world knowledge of the scene. The BDSM lifestyle is very diverse. An attempt to define the difference between a daddy and a master is really a moot point, because they are not single characters.

January 27, 2024

I think @Tat2Dochas good info and I am always looking for ways to educate myself in every area of my life. So thanks for the google search lead and Bad Girls Bible reference. Just wish there were not 2 major typos or errors in key points of your comment. I get the idea in one but the other is vague at best. Which means, some people on here will not take your quality advice as serious as they should because of those mistakes. Just stating facts. I am not trying to be rude or disrespectful. I guess that is my 35+ years of teaching coming out in me.

January 27, 2024

Autocorrect sucks. What can I say? Munch and information, instead of much and I formation. I’ve stated this before. This conversation drones on and people don’t bother to read previous comments.

January 27, 2024

9 hours ago, Tat2Doc said:

As a Dom who entered via a formal apprenticeship and has been active or around the scene for 21 years, I think you’re all very inexperienced and very confused about definitions. There are many types of dominants. Different types of daddies, different types of masters and very few of the people on here have any real knowledge of the scene. My advise stands. Look at established information sites, not dating sites for I formation. Then seek out a local much or exhibition to experience real world knowledge of the scene. The BDSM lifestyle is very diverse. An attempt to define the difference between a daddy and a master is really a moot point, because they are not single characters.

Totally this!! Like you I also went through an (informal) apprenticeship within the club scene.
As much as kink is thrilling and free-ing, to perform any BDSM in a safe way requires practice and knowledge. It requires, agreements, negotiations and/or contracts.
It can include acts that can be damaging or dangerous if not performed correctly or both/all parties aren’t involved in covering all knowledgable bases available to them.

Even something as simple as using a paddle or cane, needs to be used correctly and not just wavered around.

The internet is great for wide knowledge but you also need to study further afield yourself.

Those suggesting the many variations of what a Daddy or a Dom is, what do your contracts or negotiations state, what are your ground rules and limits to separate you from Masters etc? Because without knowledge and rules, those lines become blurred and as lovely as it is to fit a role around who you are and your personal preferences, without some kind of solid knowledgable or experienced ground rules you leave yourself open to ***, bullying or something more serious if something goes wrong.

January 27, 2024

3 hours ago, BigPolly said:

Totally this!! Like you I also went through an (informal) apprenticeship within the club scene.
As much as kink is thrilling and free-ing, to perform any BDSM in a safe way requires practice and knowledge. It requires, agreements, negotiations and/or contracts.
It can include acts that can be damaging or dangerous if not performed correctly or both/all parties aren’t involved in covering all knowledgable bases available to them.

Even something as simple as using a paddle or cane, needs to be used correctly and not just wavered around.

The internet is great for wide knowledge but you also need to study further afield yourself.

Those suggesting the many variations of what a Daddy or a Dom is, what do your contracts or negotiations state, what are your ground rules and limits to separate you from Masters etc? Because without knowledge and rules, those lines become blurred and as lovely as it is to fit a role around who you are and your personal preferences, without some kind of solid knowledgable or experienced ground rules you leave yourself open to ***, bullying or something more serious if something goes wrong.

Very true. There should be nothing informal about informed consent or safety. In some areas, you can even leave yourself open to lawsuit or criminal prosecution and not just for impact or play techniques but also for the mental effects if you inflict emotional harm. So listen to BigPolly on this. ⬆️

January 31, 2024

This is a very intriguing and important topic to discuss. I will lend my experience and POV on this. Not saying I am an expert and definitive answer but just saying what has worked for me in the past…

There is a very distinct line in the roles in which we perform. I have had a few subs over the years and each had a unique relationship/dynamic role to me. Each of the subs went thru a process of long conversations and vetting their needs/wants. Some wanted/needed a more structured dynamic that challenged them inside and outside the bed room. These tended to be ones that have had bad experiences or relationships in the past and lacked self confidence and self worth. We worked on building that confidence and self positivity thru various challenges and assignments. It also required patience and caring for them on a deeper level.

Others were more experienced and knew what their desires were but lacked the trust to allow themselves the opportunity to express those desires without *** of judgement or shame. We tailored our playtime to allow them the chance to push the boundaries and explore freely in a controlled environment. The rewards of seeing them grow was amazing.

I had another sub that was very experienced in areas I do not typically venture, however they were challenged by the mental stimulation that we had and that built a bond that allowed me to push my boundaries. My biggest restriction was not wanting to actually cause emotional or physical *** that was brutal or damaging. Having a sub that already knew her limits and was willing to get to those limits without feeling like I was going to go to far was exciting for both of us.

Long and short of this comment is that no matter the dynamic or relationship, there has to be clear boundaries that are agreed upon and that challenge both persons involved. Mental stimulation is just as important. These dynamics cannot be easily entered either. Take your time making sure each are aware of the limits and expectations along with the communication to grow into something special.

As the Dom, it is my responsibility to ensure my sub is safe and confident in knowing that I am doing everything in my power to protect them physically, emotionally, and mentally. Without that trust it is only *** and will be short lived.

My only other point, until someone furthers this discussion, is the can only be one set in a D/s relationship. If I am focused on another sub during the same time, I cannot fully commit to their needs and desires fairly. It amazes me how many people I see out there that claim to have 4-5 subs or 2-3 dons and when you talk to them, I sense the frustration and can hear the conflict in their story as to why they are not finding exactly what they are looking for.

Again, my two cents and welcome any additional input/discussion to this topic.

January 31, 2024

i associate "daddy" with lesbians, not straight men at all tbh

January 31, 2024

1 hour ago, butchbaaaphomet1312 said:

i associate "daddy" with lesbians, not straight men at all tbh

I’m sorry for your association but it’s completely wrong.

January 31, 2024

10 hours ago, herkimer32905 said:

This is a very intriguing and important topic to discuss. I will lend my experience and POV on this. Not saying I am an expert and definitive answer but just saying what has worked for me in the past…

There is a very distinct line in the roles in which we perform. I have had a few subs over the years and each had a unique relationship/dynamic role to me. Each of the subs went thru a process of long conversations and vetting their needs/wants. Some wanted/needed a more structured dynamic that challenged them inside and outside the bed room. These tended to be ones that have had bad experiences or relationships in the past and lacked self confidence and self worth. We worked on building that confidence and self positivity thru various challenges and assignments. It also required patience and caring for them on a deeper level.

Others were more experienced and knew what their desires were but lacked the trust to allow themselves the opportunity to express those desires without *** of judgement or shame. We tailored our playtime to allow them the chance to push the boundaries and explore freely in a controlled environment. The rewards of seeing them grow was amazing.

I had another sub that was very experienced in areas I do not typically venture, however they were challenged by the mental stimulation that we had and that built a bond that allowed me to push my boundaries. My biggest restriction was not wanting to actually cause emotional or physical *** that was brutal or damaging. Having a sub that already knew her limits and was willing to get to those limits without feeling like I was going to go to far was exciting for both of us.

Long and short of this comment is that no matter the dynamic or relationship, there has to be clear boundaries that are agreed upon and that challenge both persons involved. Mental stimulation is just as important. These dynamics cannot be easily entered either. Take your time making sure each are aware of the limits and expectations along with the communication to grow into something special.

As the Dom, it is my responsibility to ensure my sub is safe and confident in knowing that I am doing everything in my power to protect them physically, emotionally, and mentally. Without that trust it is only *** and will be short lived.

My only other point, until someone furthers this discussion, is the can only be one set in a D/s relationship. If I am focused on another sub during the same time, I cannot fully commit to their needs and desires fairly. It amazes me how many people I see out there that claim to have 4-5 subs or 2-3 dons and when you talk to them, I sense the frustration and can hear the conflict in their story as to why they are not finding exactly what they are looking for.

Again, my two cents and welcome any additional input/discussion to this topic.

Great read but what’s it got to do with the title question of Daddy vs. Dom? Or Daddy vs. Master? No offense because what you said was spot on! But it’s off topic, my man! 😂

January 31, 2024

2 hours ago, butchbaaaphomet1312 said:

i associate "daddy" with lesbians, not straight men at all tbh

????!!!'

January 31, 2024

"it's completely wrong" i don't know what to tell you, it's been a pretty queer thing for a while, obviously not exclusively

to me, dom just means dominant, as a noun, shortened, while daddy is more of a title and doesn't usually entail anything specific other than, yeah, being dominant. masculine honorific that can come with or without other kinks.

January 31, 2024

1 hour ago, butchbaaaphomet1312 said:

"it's completely wrong" i don't know what to tell you, it's been a pretty queer thing for a while, obviously not exclusively

to me, dom just means dominant, as a noun, shortened, while daddy is more of a title and doesn't usually entail anything specific other than, yeah, being dominant. masculine honorific that can come with or without other kinks.

Wrong again. Go check out dominants roles on bad girls bible. It explains the 17 types of dominant roles in the BDSM lifestyle. Roles have absolutely nothing to do with gender or sexuality preference and never have other than the fact that there exist masculine and feminine forms for some roles. Daddy, by the way, has been exclusively male by tradition. Doesn’t mean it has to be, but it has historically. Also, I’ve trained many Dommes and Dominatrixes in the lesbian community and never in 20 years have I seen one choose the title of Daddy. So, I’ll argue this point to the death. LOL!

February 1, 2024

roles don't 1:1 translate with gender or sexuality, that's true. not sure i communicated clearly, if you think I'm arguing that. tho i don't think 20 years of anything means much here. i mean, you're not even a lesbian, so what do you know? don't answer that. what did you think i meant that got you all defensive? in just two years of my life most of the time I've heard the word "daddy" has probably been some queer, lesbian or otherwise. to rephrase: i just wanted to point out that this has been a thing for decades. thought it was funny. THAT BEING SAID it does sound like i know cooler lesbians than you

February 3, 2024

Im a Daddy not a dom tbh, it's because I want a strong connection/bond I don't care about power

February 5, 2024

I would say the difference is in who is being catered to. The master is served and the daddy tends to his little. They are both doms because they both have the authoritative position. They just wield it differently

February 6, 2024

Dom is your role, to be the dominant as opposed to being the submissive, a switch can obviously switch between these roles but never be both at the same time...Daddy on the other hand is just a title, Daddy being exclusively male, and mommy being exclusively female, but it varies in use, sometimes it's just what the dom is to be referred to as, sometimes it's a kink role, i have even been told that being a "Daddy-Dom," as it was referred to me, as being a less severe and more nurturing dom...the ultimate difference is Dom is finite in the role that it refers to, and Daddy is just a tentative male title

February 7, 2024

Wow. I always wondered that too! Thanks for the input

February 7, 2024

Daddy means you have the abdl fetish dom is just dominant

February 8, 2024

I agree to an extent to travibara except Daddy doesn't always mean Dom too. My littles make their own choices we're poly so 1 of my littles is always here and I'm Daddy and Dom she comes to me when she needs help with things schoolwork, gaming, picking out clothes ECT but she likes to be told what to do. My other little one has another partner who is Dom to her but I'm just a Daddy we cuddle watch cartoons I help her shower and get dressed ECT. She lives here with me but when she needs that control and leaves her little space she has her Dom too. But to her I'm strictly Daddy. Daddy's are here (in some dynamics) to help the little regress and make sure they are taken care of. Making sure they eat take their meds if they need to bathe and dress them if their dynamic calls for that. Some Daddies do as Eldridge said abdl but there are other types of littles too many littles don't wear diapers or even regress that young some just like the comfort of having a caring loving guy who they can rely on to make sure they are taken care of. It really depends on the dynamic and what type of little and Daddy they are looking for. So all in all yes there are Daddies who are Dom and there are Daddies who are caregivers and many different mixes of the two in between.