Daddy vs dom?

[Do****]

1 hour ago, lilsweetgirl said:

Yea I think that’s what I’ve come to realize. And I think the best thing I can do is just dive in and explore to see what I like

Doing a bit of research is probably a good first step. Reading, googling anything you don't understand and observing for a time may prevent you from making some mistakes. I think with anything new and exciting we are all tempted to dive right in. But check the water first for hazards.

[Pe****]

There’s an element of affection in a good Daddy. Doms may or may not have that.

[jo****]

I have a daddy complex and once I’m intimate with a girl I just feel like I’m watching over her and wanting to take care of her,daddy during sex,pretty normal stuff I feel like. Master I feel like would be something much more intense

[co****]

Ddlg and sm are 2 completely different things
Sm is more sexual and is only heavy apparent in the bedroom while ddlg is a whole lifestyle that isnt sexual during the times where that mindset is present

Being called madteror likeing to be called master hints at notions of sadism or masochist tendencies
While one that gets called daddy or likes to be called that is either into ddlg in a dom sub relationship for its entirety or justs likes his ego stroked by haveing a dominant nickname for sex theres alot of minor differences as well but thats the main points between the 2

[lo****]

11 hours ago, lilsweetgirl said:

Yea I think that’s what I’ve come to realize. And I think the best thing I can do is just dive in and explore to see what I like

Be careful about who you pick to play with tho. Get with the wrong Dom right off the bat, and you won't be in a D/s relationship, but an abusive one.

Many submissives leave the lifestyle all together after a first experience like that, and I can't say I blame them!

[co****]

Master*

[Ta****]

On 1/18/2024 at 7:07 PM, locketheart said:

I said nothing at all about the level of love between the people in the dynamic. Trust and love is needed for a successful long term dynamic, and subs as well as Doms have their preferences for the type of dynamic they prefer.

My comment did not quote you. It wasn’t directed at you. It was actually in response to a comment further up by @bigbob80 and less so by others. Sometimes a comment isn’t about the person directly above. LOL!

[aa****]

I like being called daddy not master it's a different kink in my opinion it is I don't want a slave a want a daughter kinda kink

[Da****]

Thank you for all the informative posts! I am new to the lifestyle about three years in and only had one daddy dom relationship! I am a very loving and caring daddy figure! I love having a sub in the bedroom, but also like a strong independent woman out of the bedroom!

[Ta****]

15 hours ago, corey25 said:

Ddlg and sm are 2 completely different things
Sm is more sexual and is only heavy apparent in the bedroom while ddlg is a whole lifestyle that isnt sexual during the times where that mindset is present

Being called madteror likeing to be called master hints at notions of sadism or masochist tendencies
While one that gets called daddy or likes to be called that is either into ddlg in a dom sub relationship for its entirety or justs likes his ego stroked by haveing a dominant nickname for sex theres alot of minor differences as well but thats the main points between the 2

This preconception could not be more incorrect. The dynamic between Master and sub or slave depends entirely on the individuals and I have witnessed relationships including 20+ year monogamous marriages in D/s with Masters and slaves and Masters and subs. I’ve also met Daddy Doms who are sadistic and harsh at times yet big powder puffs at other times and the same for Master/slave. I’m disappointed at the number of people who profess to have knowledge of the kink world/lifestyle who obviate they know little. Please refrain from giving false impressions to newbies. SMH...

[Pr****]

All very interesting

[co****]

33 minutes ago, Tat2Doc said:

This preconception could not be more incorrect. The dynamic between Master and sub or slave depends entirely on the individuals and I have witnessed relationships including 20+ year monogamous marriages in D/s with Masters and slaves and Masters and subs. I’ve also met Daddy Doms who are sadistic and harsh at times yet big powder puffs at other times and the same for Master/slave. I’m disappointed at the number of people who profess to have knowledge of the kink world/lifestyle who obviate they know little. Please refrain from giving false impressions to newbies. SMH...

While i understand you seem to feel i have givin false knowledge it was just a generalized outlook into it ppl vary and theres good and bad in all spectrums please refrain from interjecting personal experiences into some elses thoughts and view it from a unbaised view point thank you

[Da****]

16 hours ago, corey25 said:

Ddlg and sm are 2 completely different things
Sm is more sexual and is only heavy apparent in the bedroom while ddlg is a whole lifestyle that isnt sexual during the times where that mindset is present

Being called madteror likeing to be called master hints at notions of sadism or masochist tendencies
While one that gets called daddy or likes to be called that is either into ddlg in a dom sub relationship for its entirety or justs likes his ego stroked by haveing a dominant nickname for sex theres alot of minor differences as well but thats the main points between the 2

Just information but not all daddies are into age play so it’s not all ddlg…
Some of us are just caring and loving and supportive. The term daddy isn’t only when you are dealing with littles.
While there are plenty of doms that do age play it’s typically smaller number than those who are daddies

[BigPolly]

19 hours ago, corey25 said:

Ddlg and sm are 2 completely different things
Sm is more sexual and is only heavy apparent in the bedroom while ddlg is a whole lifestyle that isnt sexual during the times where that mindset is present

Being called madteror likeing to be called master hints at notions of sadism or masochist tendencies
While one that gets called daddy or likes to be called that is either into ddlg in a dom sub relationship for its entirety or justs likes his ego stroked by haveing a dominant nickname for sex theres alot of minor differences as well but thats the main points between the 2

? Wow all of this is so way off. I’m not sure where you’ve got your information from but everything about this is just tosh

SM isn’t necessarily sexual and it’s certainly not heavily apparent in the bedroom 

SM can be a lifestyle hence why a Master may have a slave. This lifestyle isn’t necessarily based around sex it can simply be based around the thrill of the lifestyle.

Being called a Master is nothing to do with SandM it depicts the level of power & commitment that that lifestyle holds.

daddies aren’t necessarily in a DDlg or Dom/sub relationship, there are numerous power relationships which hold this title. Suggesting someone might like to be called Daddy to have his ego stroked is a tad insulting.

Being in a partnership where someone is playing the ‘Daddy’ role again isn’t necessarily about sex. 
Not all BDSM play is sexual

[Ta****]

5 hours ago, BigPolly said:

? Wow all of this is so way off. I’m not sure where you’ve got your information from but everything about this is just tosh

SM isn’t necessarily sexual and it’s certainly not heavily apparent in the bedroom 

SM can be a lifestyle hence why a Master may have a slave. This lifestyle isn’t necessarily based around sex it can simply be based around the thrill of the lifestyle.

Being called a Master is nothing to do with SandM it depicts the level of power & commitment that that lifestyle holds.

daddies aren’t necessarily in a DDlg or Dom/sub relationship, there are numerous power relationships which hold this title. Suggesting someone might like to be called Daddy to have his ego stroked is a tad insulting.

Being in a partnership where someone is playing the ‘Daddy’ role again isn’t necessarily about sex. 
Not all BDSM play is sexual

A very valid point. I, like many others, have had play partners who I do not have a sexual relationship with. As a Dungeon Club Master, most relationships do not involve any sexual contact. In fact, there is sometimes a role almost identical to a sex therapist but with a kinky edge. I have had couples who enjoy certain scenes together and separate. I have mentored many people and counseled many couples. BDSM has NEVER mandated sexual contact.

[Ao****]

No rule is written in stone, but usually yes, there is. Daddy is most frequently used when someone wants to hint at the caring side (age play or not), and Dom when you want to emphasize the domination side of the dynamics.

Also, please note that most people do not constraint themselves to one role or the other, but fluctuate between them.

You’ll also note that people pick how they refer to themselves Dom/Daddy/Master/Owner with the term closest to their preferred dynamic: (in order) Dominating/Caring/Full Control/Pet Ownership

But again, not set in stone. Just something I observed people do naturally.

Btw, I've left Primal/pray out on purpose since it doesn’t necessarily involve fixed top/bottom roles. Some prays are fierce and play it more like a duel

[BigPolly]

5 hours ago, Tat2Doc said:

A very valid point. I, like many others, have had play partners who I do not have a sexual relationship with. As a Dungeon Club Master, most relationships do not involve any sexual contact. In fact, there is sometimes a role almost identical to a sex therapist but with a kinky edge. I have had couples who enjoy certain scenes together and separate. I have mentored many people and counseled many couples. BDSM has NEVER mandated sexual contact.

Personally I feel this whole thread had shown how the internet has caused a ‘Chinese whisper’ effect to the BDSM scene.

Being in clubs years ago, the roles were defined, there was no ‘well I think this & I think that’. The respectful lines between roles were clear.

The beauty of the internet is this has now allowed people to be who they want and be more open, even stepping over several roles to combine them.

The downside of this is roles are now blurred, it’s a case of ‘I think this…’. The freedom to be yourself is there but learning is now harder in my opinion.

Porn is unfortunately a role leader rather than experiencing anything in reality and because of this people are bouncing around with all sorts of ideas. The thrill of BDSM without the sex is no longer there and like you when I was a Domme in a club I never touched anyone sexually.

We have the freedom to be ourselves which is lovely but strict knowledge is now so far from what it was, it is simply opinion based which is quite scary. The amount of variations on this thread of what a Daddy or a Master is verging on dangerous in my opinion. 

Edited January 20, 2024 by BigPolly

[bo****]

Normally it is a very different dynamic

[Ta****]

2 hours ago, BigPolly said:

Personally I feel this whole thread had shown how the internet has caused a ‘Chinese whisper’ effect to the BDSM scene.

Being in clubs years ago, the roles were defined, there was no ‘well I think this & I think that’. The respectful lines between roles were clear.

The beauty of the internet is this has now allowed people to be who they want and be more open, even stepping over several roles to combine them.

The downside of this is roles are now blurred, it’s a case of ‘I think this…’. The freedom to be yourself is there but learning is now harder in my opinion.

Porn is unfortunately a role leader rather than experiencing anything in reality and because of this people are bouncing around with all sorts of ideas. The thrill of BDSM without the sex is no longer there and like you when I was a Domme in a club I never touched anyone sexually.

We have the freedom to be ourselves which is lovely but strict knowledge is now so far from what it was, it is simply opinion based which is quite scary. The amount of variations on this thread of what a Daddy or a Master is verging on dangerous in my opinion. 

Preach it BigPolly! Shout it from the highest mountain!

I’ll go one further and say, the beauty of the internet is the ability to spread information and the downfall of the internet is the ability to spread incorrect information as fact.

If people experienced in person and learned from knowledgeable sources or learned mentors, there would be far less “opinion stated as fact”, which is a big part of the issue here.

I feel like I need to throw out a line from Dante’s Inferno: “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”, because so much opinion is thrown around as fact. SMH...

To those who seek to learn, do not take words from the internet, whether it be here or any other site, as fact or truth without first going out and witnessing conformation of those facts. Be discerning. You may not be able to witness the leather families of history but you can speak to different people at munches and witness experienced people who learned from real people. The definitions that are being debated here are already defined.

Also to be noted: When using the term “Daddy” people must be aware that a “Daddy Dom” is much different than a “Daddy” in Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby sense which is not part of the BDSM kink world. I think the blurring of lines is blending terms and that is not good.

It is much the same as when queer meant homosexual. But wait! Before queer meant homosexual, it meant weird and now it does again. Amazing isn’t it! Why? Because there are fades and there are facts. It’s not that queer actually meant gay, but it was used in a disparaging ways by prejudice people to put others down and it was often aimed as homosexuals. However, the formal definition was the same, it meant an odd or unusual thing, person or activity. I think that’s safe to say… or maybe we should stick to that which falls outside the mainstream norm (?). Dangerous word to use. Norm or normal are always red flags to me though.

I’m going to stop here before I ramble too far off topic, but yes to BigPolly and no to opinion as fact.

[im****]

Which do you prefer?

[Ta****]

Personally, I’ve enjoyed Daddy and Master in different relationships and I don’t think they are mutually exclusive. I’ve even been in both roles at the same time in the same household so I know they aren’t exclusive for me. I can’t say I have a preference. I’m not entirely sure who you were aiming that question at though @tampa35944.

[Da****]

My Dom is my Daddy Dom

[Wi****]

I think it's completely different, but that depends on the relationship, is a daddy always a dominator, reminds me of a joke, do you want to be mummy or daddy 🤣 it's an old one.

[Ro****]

2 totally different, depending on the sub

[An****]

I think it's dynamic specific