Pay to a submissive

[ey****]

31 minutes ago, hokkll said:

TLDR: providing in a committed relationship is an investment fostering happiness. Paying for the companionship of someone who is only there for the *** strips the relationship of authenticity, reducing it to a hollow transaction.

But the assumption is that someone's provision in a committed relationship is a hollow transaction BECAUSE the woman is a Domme.

(incidentally - about 40/50 years ago most women were with their husbands through necessity not choice, that they couldn't have *** or a bank account of their own - and so as thus had to be content because there wasn't an alternative.  The concept of women only being there for the *** was far more common place in our grandparents generation than now, but most people don't wish to admit that) 

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Alright so as above - so you found a couple of potential bad apples.

All male Dominants are ***rs because one once deliberately ignored their subs safeword. How's that?  

LMAO I have two examples of SEVERAL I’ve personally experienced. As well as hearing from Submissives who were taken advantage of. “Once is a fluke. Twice is a coincidence. Three times or more is a trend”

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, Mountain-Man-1971 said:

LMAO I have two examples of SEVERAL I’ve personally experienced. As well as hearing from Submissives who were taken advantage of. “Once is a fluke. Twice is a coincidence. Three times or more is a trend”

ok, yeah - I can think of three or more female submissives who were ***d by male Dominants.

And, you know - sweeping statements helps no one. 

[FunOxon]

It’s ridiculous to make sweeping statements either way. Of course there are people of every gender abusing other people. Of course that doesn’t mean all people that call themselves x are abusing other people.

Some Dommes are abusing *** men for ***. Some women are pretending to be dommes to make a quick buck and abusing *** men. Some men are pretending to be women online to *** *** men. Also some men are abusing *** women, in many ways.

 

That doesn’t mean ALL donned, or “dommes”, or doms, are abusing *** people. In fact the vast majority are not.

However, anyone who thinks that payment is a non negotiable (not talking pros here) in a relationship has a problem. Findom seems to attract more than the average number of ***rs, as it’s an easy way to make some ***, and always suspicious. 

 

[ey****]

39 minutes ago, FunOxon said:

It’s ridiculous to make sweeping statements either way

it is...

39 minutes ago, FunOxon said:

Findom seems to attract more than the average number of ***rs, as it’s an easy way to make some ***, and always suspicious. 

so why did you say that?

 

[FunOxon]

Perhaps always is a bit far. Maybe I could have written a bit more detail, but warning of caution around the number of supposed *** on Fetlife and OF that have no real life presence is not the same as the statements that have been made previously.

[ey****]

59 minutes ago, FunOxon said:

Perhaps always is a bit far. Maybe I could have written a bit more detail, but warning of caution around the number of supposed *** on Fetlife and OF that have no real life presence is not the same as the statements that have been made previously.

ah fair

I'll clean a bit though

So the first is that Findom and a lot of other online work is seldom easy ***.  There are some who make a lot, but then a lot who struggle and/or put on a facade of doing well.  I think perhaps those who were given in an example who currently have subs who are happily giving, could be in for a rude awakening if that suddenly stops.

And it will, suddenly stop.

Guys in general really shouldn't be taken in too much by OnlyFans and this kinda is on the guy; the ladies on there are clearly working on a service basis - you can't even mention the word 'meet' on there, let alone arrange something (against OF TOU) so anything spent - which is ultimately the guys business - should be considered as it is - that you're paying for content and ongoing chats.  

Findom in general I think we're driving a little way away from the guys original post - but yep, again in spending *** you have to be sure what you're getting - and often, usually, that's very little - the clue is in the name 'Financial Domination' - and there are guys who don't get this and there are ladies who don't get this.   In itself this is kinda different from many other types of ongoing relationships.   And a lot does depend on what the sub wants from stuff as much as the Domme.

While it wouldn't be my cup of tea; there's some guys who would get off on the idea that a lady he was sending *** to was sitting laughing about it with her friends and saying how pathetic he was and that he was being used.  While also some who'd be devastated if they were doing things in good faith and it wasn't taken that way.  We don't always know the ins and outs.  

But all this said; this isn't a direction people have to go down and there's often a more specific market. 

I think in all scenarios it's important people getting into things knows what it is; and what it is not.     Like if someone approaches to own and collar you that you don't know from shit, this sets off too many red flags for me.  

But over the years I've got to know a lot of people and there's a lot I find very interesting and fascinating.

This is not to say there are not scams around. Which it's why it's important people do both a sniff test and decide if it's a route they want to go down.  And also some where.... it's not a scam but a misunderstanding.  I remember years ago a lady I know had been contacted by a guy who had asked if he could deposit small amounts of *** in her account.  "Yeah, OK, here's my account".  And over several months he'd put £10 in here, £20 there - but he'd never communicated if and what he wanted in return and the comms as far as she'd saw this was that is what he was into.  After a few months he got ***y that she'd never done certain things or arranged to meet - and she was like... you'd never asked, you'd never implied that's what you wanted or that it was on the cards - and he might have complained about being scammed but he got exactly as he asked for.  I know that's not the only case.  And scams can happen, but like anything communication is important - because I know some guys who complain they've been scammed haven't, they'd just expected more than what was reasonable for what they were doing.

[MasterDarcy1979]

Traditionally, no.

There's a caveat to everything, though. The caveat to this is that there would be a payment scheme if it was a specific part of the dynamic.

Generally, though, no. *** doesn't switch hands. It's not common practice.

[Charmedlace]

 

Be better with value cause this veggie route will only get the wrong calling.   Think before you leap. Level your life be the beggar on the other side of the stick nothing is free in life no free hand outs you must create your life. Don't like the one your living write a new one.

Funds can't buy love in to the lifestyle Declined card Answer. Real love is with effect being shown the right matter handmade or from the heart that is real love. Best find someone that is into the same as you can cherish each but you gotta do something with your life. Know wants to deal with someone just vegges outs all day. Lifestyle about bond and love and trust.  Good to educate oneself in the lifestyle but do what you want but if you want value and respect do better the frat lifestyle big no grown women and men don't have time for it to level up or secure your life Master one self.

someone who is worthy of your love will never put you in a situation where you feel you must sacrifice your dignity , your integrity , or your self worth to be with them.

Your relationship should be a safe haven , not a battlefield. The world is hard enough.

Without communication, there is no relationship. Without respect, there is no love. Without trust, there is no reason to continue.

The wrong makes you beg for attention , affection , love and communication. The right person give you things because they love you.

Your relationship should be a safe haven , not a battlefield. The world is hard enough.

Good value have worked on themselves to preserve a life and master themself to make room for a woman. Right one won't care what you come with; they will allow you to stay who you are or whatever you want to do even when you want to work. They support you in everything. They will make time for you be the family man take charge with love not make be in embarrassed but will lift you up with safety make you feel safe and protected.

Safe sex is not always wearing a condom, It's being careful who you mix your soul with.

The man or women you choose to be your partner effects everything in your life. Your mental health, Your peace of mind,your love inside you, your happiness, how you get through trades, your successes, how your *** will be raised , and much more. Choose wisely.

Dance , Sing , read , to each other , breathe together - communicate. Don't count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It's the other way around first to develop intimacy skills . Then make love to enjoy them.We all things have a story. And no matter how much work you've done on yourself. We all snap back together. So be easy on yourself. Growth is a dance. Not a light switch.Some just want good company, a person to vibe with , converse with and laugh without in a rush. Start off simple , and let the rest find itself.

Sharing same vision in life , Both have a Plan , Hand Holding, Watching the stars , Showing up for your theater play , Road Trip . Vacation , Dancing , Whispering sweet secrets to each other , Doing the most silly things together , Cheering you up on blue day's , Picking you up over the shoulder , Bucket list.

Be with someone who will take care of you.
Not materialistically,
but take care of your soul, your well being. your heart, and everything that's you.

There will be ones who want you there will be the person who deserve you.

It's rare to that you find someone with enough emotional and mental patience and maturity to work through the sh#t with. Like actually communicate , and lose their ego because they value the connection more than their pride, You gotta leave your ego at the door in love. It's a must.

It's better to face a little loneliness now than a lifetime of loneliness with the wrong person. SO enjoy life with good valued friendship and companionship with not much attachments. Still respect don't get hooked til you know it's right they must be emotionally invested before getting hooked. Enjoy some of your single life but still have some love but do it in an elegant way. Be selective who you bring in your life and company should the same you pour. Put a little discipline into yourself but with love. Willing to take your hand leads the way with both agreeing on things.

You don't want a life time partner that is just hooked on sex and party all night cause if you settle they get just want to play video games tell you to take the kids to daycare who wants to feel with vegetable they are too lazy not able to put in effect they don't deserve you. Think before you enter goes both ways.

Fascinated by soul , depth , intellect , rebellion , with cause , love without condition, ,music that makes you feel different . . . .that matters.

Compliments on appearance are nice , but when somebody compliments you as a person - you laugh , your personality , your heart - that's where it's at.

Sharing same vision in life , Both have a Plan , Hand Holding, Watching the stars , Showing up for your theater play , Road Trip . Vacation , Dancing , Whispering sweet secrets to each other , Doing the most silly things together , Cheering you up on blue day's , Picking you up over the shoulder , Bucket list.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Understand

Solid self-esteem in adulthood is hard earned. It comes from tapping into our own creativity and personal pleasures, from developing our competence and our connections, from participating in friendship, intimacy, and community. It develops from living in accord with our deeply held values and priorities, from learning to recognize and share both competence and vulnerability, and from navigating relationships with integrity, balance, and generosity of spirit. Living well is the work of a lifetime that demands our full attention.”
— Harriet Lerner

Grow

Inner peace -
You need three ingredients, determination, focus, and positive thinking. Success definitely does not require becoming the best version; the idea is to become better day by day. In the end, happiness and inner peace become the major goal therefore, always thrive for them, success will come eventually with consistency.

Everyone has a different personality, mind-set, and goals; therefore, it’s true that everyone has their own way of handling crises. Sometimes, we demotivate ourselves so much because we get into comparison. We must avoid comparison to live a happy, positive, and peaceful life.

Our weaknesses stop us from reaching our goals. To reach goals, we must know the skill of converting our weaknesses into strengths. Expose yourself to your weaknesses, learn about them, and see how instantly you will be able to develop self-confidence.

know it sounds cliché, but you will all agree that we must not dwell over things that belong to the past and we must practice being mindful because today we have the ability to gather all of our superpowers. Consider today as a “present” and make it best.

We should learn to welcome challenges and should fight our ***s because they will lead us to a successful and happy life. Once a day, we must take a single step to overcome our ***s and fight challenges so that we can turn our weaknesses into strengths.

The universal fact is that there is no secret ingredient to reaching goals or being successful. However, there are some key ingredients that can be used to reach them happily and positively. There is no secret ingredient for anything!

[John54]

I agree with charmedlace, especially the bit about intimacy preceeding sex. Best sex is an expression of intimacy

[Deleted Member]

I think you’re describing finDom. Either way, it is a niche of dominance that seems (from what I’ve seen) to be most common when forming connections online with a Domme and male sub.

Note, I said most common, not exclusively.

If that isn’t what you’re looking for, don’t accept it. Alternatives are available. Kink is customisable

[Master_Neach]

On 7/23/2024 at 10:45 AM, subguy-1963 said:

OK, simple question.  Does a submissive have to pay to be a submissive to a Mistress.  Pay to be collared 

No he doesn’t, every mistress has a reason for their charge so be sure of what you’re getting into first.. personally as a dom I don’t charge for my services 

[pr****]

No

[pr****]

It’s whatever is agreed upon between two of age consenting adults !

[Missejj2022]

It really don't but it also up to the person

[MasterDwight]

I don't see why you should pay i do be leave them one in charge should be looking out for there partner amd not have to pay to play

[Fi****]

Interesting.. definitely the perfect reward for the perfect Sub..

[subbbn]

but 99% won't do anything with you unless you pay upfront. They all say it's a one time fee but won't continue with you unless you keep paying.

[ki****]

If you want a real sub/domme dynamic then I’m sure the fetlife website would be a great place to look as well.
Being collared is a big deal traditionally and I won’t consider taking on a collared sub unless in a deep and long term relationship.
It should involve written agreements or contracts if done thoroughly.