What is it about a dirty fetish that attracts and excites so many people? Mentioning urinating on a submissive to the right person, and they melt. Or talk about rimming, and a girl such as myself is ready to orgasm right there. How can these taboo things have such an impact on us?
Perhaps it’s a primal thing for some, like embracing the animalistic side that marks territory and stakes claim over our intended. Or maybe it’s hot because it gets us out of the norm and into an area of forbidden taboos. Whatever the case, a dirty fetish can quickly move from ‘no’ to ‘yes please!’ fast given the right circumstance.
I found this myself when I first began playing with my Dom. Aside from breast milk, which has never felt that taboo to me, the others were not on my list of possibilities. But as I moved further into the relationship I found these sorts of things hotter. I’d imagine him urinating on me before going out somewhere, so I’d be marked as ‘his’.
Later this moved to the desire to rim him. Something I knew almost nothing about and was so drawn to that I even did research into the safety side of things. Which I found to be much safer than I’d expected given cleanliness and the manner in which it’s performed. Just the thought drops me. So I had to figure out why this changed for me.
What I found was that I loved the notion of being his dirty girl.
I wanted to be humiliated by him, and these sorts of fetishes allowed for that. Even if some are only in talk form at this point, it’s still hot. They also connect to my respect for him. The deeper the respect and gratitude, the more I want to please him in these ways.
While it’s an honor to be claimed in this consensual manner, there doesn’t need to be a deep connection to make folks desire such play.
An example of a lighter connection is when I used to use breast milk to mess with a man in my life. I’d make him coffee and put cream in, then tell him it was my breast milk and make him drink it. Sometimes I’d actually use my breast milk and make him watch me squeeze it into the mug, or I’d threaten to make him suckle my breast. While it was just a little breast milk to me, this was horrible and deliciously humiliating for him. He’d get that look of shock, then the one of surrender as he drank my milk. He was in the military, so his daily life meant being in control. Letting go in this small manner worked for him. It got him out of his daily routine.
There doesn’t always need to be actual play either. Verbal suggestions can be just as great as actions, and in cases where contagions come into play, tricking a sub into believing something is happening is also safer.
Whether verbal or action, a dirty fetish can take us to the next level of letting go. They offer us a greater level of passion, which means a greater return on our investments and a deeper bond with our partner.
To me, a dirty fetish is like icing on a cake.
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her at siennasaintcyr.wordpress.com or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.
Image by Caroline
with CC BY 2.0 license