Molly's BDSM Tips for Your First Pegging Experience

Ever wanted to give pegging a try and not known where to begin? This week our BDSM advice columnist Molly gives one of our members some tips on how to go about it for the first time - from choosing a strap-on dildo to building confidence for that first pegging experience.

Dear Molly,
My partner wants to try pegging. He has mentioned it a few times, and recently he sent me some links to various strap-on harnesses, although I didn't buy any because I don't know where to start. I want to try this out with him, but I feel inexperienced with no idea on how to begin. Could you give me some pegging advice to get me going?
Peggy Newbie.

Dear Peggy,
Thanks for reaching out with this question as I think pegging is a subject of interest for many people. As a quick explainer for those who don't know what pegging is, it's when one partner fucks the other in the ass with a dildo worn on a strap-on harness.

Mostly, pegging is associated with the female partner wearing the strap-on and her male partner getting pegged, but not necessarily.

It can be a daunting prospect for both if no one has any pegging experience. Still, for those going to be the 'pegger', it can be especially daunting as the pelvic area holds a lot of power, and worry about either getting it wrong or hurting their partner.

Buying a strap-on harness

Choosing the right strap-on harness can be a challenge as there are many styles and variations to choose from, and most people don't have the budget to try out all of them. My advice is to start with an inexpensive strap-on dildo and see if you like it. If you do, you can always spend more once you know the style you prefer. There are three kinds of strap-on types;

The Jock Style Harness - this has a strap around your waist and two straps which pass between your legs and go round your thighs, so a bit like wearing crotchless panties.
The Thong-Style Harness - this is where a single strap passes through your legs and fits like a thong.
The Panty Style Harness - this looks like panties but have a place in the front to hold the dildo.

The only way to work out which one works for you is to try some out. I know there are a lot to choose from, but first, think about which design you might feel most comfortable wearing and then read the reviews. Lots of women are often comfortable starting with the panty design as they feel like a design they are familiar with, but this is up to you.

Buying a dildo

Buying a strap-on also depends on how much anal play experience your partner has. If the answer is very little or none at all, then I'd suggest starting with a small butt plug that you can use together for anal play.

You could help your partner get used to the sensation with a small pegging dildo for him to get used to while giving you the confidence that you're not going to hurt your partner as you learn together. Of course, the other vital part of this activity is lube. Again, experiment with what you like, but it's worth buying a good quality lube - and use generous amounts of it. Check out another of my articles for more on first-time anal play.

Talk your pegging journey through

One thing I'd suggest is that you share this journey with your partner. Look through harness options and dildos together. Talk about what you like the idea of and what you don't. Encourage your partner to share their fantasies of getting pegged so you can understand his desires while building your confidence.

Sharing the whole process should be all part of the fun - unless your partner's fantasy is being surprised with a pegging. But even in that scenario, they need to be able to share those thoughts with you first.

Build up to your first pegging experience

Physically, you should also work on building up to the experience with your partner. If they have little or no knowledge of anal play, then you don't want to start with pegging but work up to that as the end goal.

To begin with, I'd recommend introducing a well-lubed finger during oral sex, and as I mentioned above, some anal toys to give your partner a chance to get used to the sensation of having something in their ass. Butt plugs are an ideal starter toy, and they might even enjoy wearing one while they're fucking you!

There are lots of different experiences you can try together before you start pegging. Once you feel ready, however, ensure you set aside some good quality time for it. Pegging isn't something you want to rush the first time or anytime. Taking the time to do it right will make for a much more pleasurable (and hopefully fulfilling) first pegging experience that you'll both want to repeat again and again. Molly x

Do you enjoy getting pegged or have a first pegging experience to share? Head over to the fetish forum!