The internet of things

[Goober-9862]

In the age of the internet, i *** some forget to remember everything lives forever.

So maybe it is just me, but sharing pictures of myself is very personal in this type of forum. Maybe it is you and you are more comfortable in your skin than I am? Could be I don't look at my face and say "dang, the world deserves to see that".

I'm a computer guy and even giving the content to get verified had me "sweating".

Does anyone else think this way, do you have similar concerns? If not, why not?

[YesMaster]

If you are uncomfortable you can always post pics but blur out your face like some do... I totally get it, the internet is a dark scary misunderstood place and only god knows what is actually being done with pictures or videos. Me personally I try not to think about that because this is my outlet.. I feel free so to speak lol.. I am more comfortable in my skin because of what i share to the world and the compliments i get. We all have our own way of doing things when it comes to being comfortable with ourselves or anyone else... Hope that helped😊

[Ar****]

I feel the same way as you can probably tell from my pics, but this site is safe. They weed out scammers and you just need to make sure not to hand out personal details like phone numbers, real emails, real names and bank account details to people. You would be safe like this. 

[Goober-9862]

Good stuff appreciate the engagement. 

I'm actually not scared of the internet, the majority of my life has been spent in the IT world.  I am not the smartest person in the room when it comes to IT, but I certainly know about the deep crevices it can hide.

Which is a reason I hold back more on any site not just this one.  Generally the concern isnt how the site will use your stuff, but how others will.  Good sites will have all the required policies and hold them near and dear. 

 

Sharing pictures for me is more likely tied self perception, I would share with people as I became more familiar with them.  But generally not to the whole world up front.

 

Sharing to soon has the potential of your likeness being used without consent. 

Of course everyone's thoughts on what they will and will not share is different.

[Goober-9862]

Also great suggestions on ways to be more open yet still not open ;-)

[Leisa]

Obviously I don’t worry about it. It does help that it’s a private site with filters in place to offer some protections. Life’s to short to worry what other people think all the time.

[Goober-9862]

I'm feeling like so far of the three replies, 75%+'ish of you are very open in your desires with whomever you are with, making it much simpler to be out in "open", if that makes sense.

So when you consider internet safety and privacy it becomes a mute point and your ability to trust the platform and the people on it more or less goes away.

Then for someone like me, new to these ideas and currently more concerned with privacy and the internet and its vastness and permanence, while trying to open up, it is more difficult. 

Interesting.

What tips if any do you have to folks of my similar mind set to be more free?

[Goober-9862]

This is fantastic btw, I'm truly interested.  Being mostly introverted, these things help.

[Goober-9862]

Of course I went from being on social media, to that's stupid, dump it all, erase what you can, to I need more in my life, let's join this fetish site.

[Goober-9862]

Having a significant other who isn't very aware of these ideas either, could be a culprit, I'm sure there are plenty of topics on that if I could easily search for them.

[ey****]

I think that there's a lot folk get a bit wary on - and I'm not saying people are wrong or not, but

if someone signed up to a dating site and a friend, co-worker or family member spotted this the only real stigma is if the person isn't single

on a fetish site it shouldn't be too much different. Consider for someone to find you on one, they've had to have similar motivation

I guess this could be a little more tricky if, say, said friend is kink-curious and there's your profile full of deemed extreme fantasies - but yeah - some of this still ties in with some of the stigma and shame.  

[Goober-9862]

Yea, in my head I was thinking similar thoughts, but you were able to put the words to virtual paper.

[Goober-9862]

Kind of becomes a big ole game of ring around the rosey. 

So like others have implied you have to be comfortable with were you are at, at least that is likely the first big step. 

Curious if the privacy feeling and the being out there can live mutually. 

[ey****]

I feel that it's not impossible - but it's an extra barrier

And I think understanding and accepting barriers can be important

Here's a scenario. Imagine two anonymous people spoke to each other on a site and then it gets to a point of "OK, let's swap pictures"  - so there's an advantage here still in whoever receives first, but imagine someone sends the photo and then, fuck - it is a boss/employee/friend.... ***...

I think it's not impossible - but it is a challenge - especially as there is a power shift from the start if one person has pictures and the other does not 

[Straight_Switch]

I deffo hit the point of no fucks given, I get cancelled any time I open my mouth these days anyway as the worlds full of snowflakes hiding behind a cause as their own life has no meaning, so least they can put a face to the words ;-)

[Goober-9862]

Well said.

Then of course, whether pictures up front or not, if you were to encounter that, what is the consequence, good bad or otherwise.   Of course being open and honest is the cure for those of us in relationships, if that is what you desire, or maybe the fetish is otherwise. 

Very interesting, lots to mull on, I love the organic nature this thread seems to have taken.

They didn't lie when they told me everyone is super helpful here, definitely makes me feel more comfortable. 

[Goober-9862]

Interesting take tiny_

[Goober-9862]

I don't think the no f's given, completely applies, but certainly opens one up to being more open and out there on the interwebs. 

[kb****]

As a woman, I don’t want my face and my safety compromised, not because I’m not open about my interests, but more because it causes more harm than good (I’ve had precious stalker issues)

To that end, yes I agree that everything posted on any online platform more or less can live forever and you should be a bit more select on what you put out for all the inter web people to see and associate with you.

That being said if you plan on meeting people here IRL, then it does build some level of trust that you have your picture up, esp. from a female perspective. So it’s a bit of a catch 22 where people would probably be willing to talk to you with some level of trust and openness in something as simple as a photo. But again, to each their own if it causes you anxiety and you don’t feel right, just don’t do it!

[Goober-9862]

Well said and great perspective. 

Being human, I believe we gravitate towards images over content.  That is what it is.

I try to give credence to both types of profiles.  But also tend to look at images first.

Where the verification process was awkward (what do you mean you dont trust that I say am who I am), thinking back on it now a verified profile lends more credibility than a profile with a pic and no verification.  Brilliant move own the site owners. 

[lo****]

I’m the same hence why my face isn’t on any pics x

[Goober-9862]

I couldn't post a non face picture as my profile pic, I didn't try a body pic, but maybe that is only a thing before you are verified?

[Goober-9862]

14 minutes ago, Goober-9862 said:

I couldn't post a non face picture as my profile pic, I didn't try a body pic, but maybe that is only a thing before you are verified?

I probably just did it wrong or misunderstood the requirements. 

[Phoenyx]

If I recall, "guests" who randomly wander to this site, cannot see the profile photos, or access any of the profiles.  They can read some of the discussions, and access the magazine section.  But, that is about all.  Only site members can see photos.

Plus, as far as I know, all of a person's profile info is deleted from the servers, once that person cancels their membership.  There is no "data collection" here.  So, no need to keep the info.  Perhaps, one of the Mods could verify this.

[Goober-9862]

Excellent point, PII and PCI data retention, use and removal is paramount in any online activity