Your making it up

[Sire_Osiris]

You've studied under no one; your education lists no recognized content; you've no one to vouch for your experience; you've no experience in any traditions; you call yourself master while no one else does.
You are not a Dom.
All your knowledge comes from pop culture and movies.
You are not a Dom.
When you make things up as you go to justify how you want to treat s-type people then you might just be an egomaniac, but you are not a Dom.

[Deleted Member]

You seem to be very much an ego maniac. Everyone has to start somewhere. A person can learn with their own style and imagination. Maybe you are too rigid. I don't know, but that is the impression I get. Of course , I could be totally off base lol

[TheDeathRictus]

My impression was this was aimed at the "Fifty Shades of Grey" types who then start kink with the wrong impressions on how to act. Also just people who are generally just dicks.

The idea being, learn before you act instead of acting before you learn

[Deleted Member]

Ah, cool. I misunderstood. Thank you for that.

[ey****]

I get where you're coming from - but - remember.... BDSM as we know it has very little history and a lot of traditions, teachings, etc. are little over decades old.... and a lot does come from fiction books.

[MissTakenDeep]

I’d actually argue that a real dominant learns mostly from their subs. Nobody educates you more so than your partners. If they do, you’re listening to someone else’s experiences and not your own. I’m pretty certain there is nobody that could educate a D type on my kinks & needs better than me 🤷🏻‍♀️

[LustAndLogic]

I don't believe that you need education or even experience to be a good Dom. What is needed however is the willingness to listen, learn and constantly improve yourself.
Also, be humble. Nobody likes Doms who are full of themselves.

[CopperKnob]

Someone please, I really am desperate to read this BDSM handbook but I can't find it anywhere? I'd really really like to be able to read about the one twue way. If someone could share a copy with me, pretty please?

[ey****]

1 minute ago, CopperKnob said:

Someone please, I really am desperate to read this BDSM handbook but I can't find it anywhere? I'd really really like to be able to read about the one twue way. If someone could share a copy with me, pretty please?

it's a lost secret handed down through the generations like a holy artefact (despite BDSM only being coined in 1992) 

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it's a lost secret handed down through the generations like a holy artefact (despite BDSM only being coined in 1992) 

Well then all hope is lost. Im gonna give up now rather than keep making things up

[ey****]

12 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Well then all hope is lost. Im gonna give up now rather than keep making things up

it's one of those things that sometimes I feel a lot of people talk ideas as if they're ancient traditions passed through the millenia - but they were, in reality, just an idea someone had 30 years ago.

 

And like that people might slam things like 50 Shades (to be fair, it's wank) but there's a lot of other ideas we seem to pass as gospel that were taken from works of fiction (Story of O being a big contributor) 

[CopperKnob]

5 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it's one of those things that sometimes I feel a lot of people talk ideas as if they're ancient traditions passed through the millenia - but they were, in reality, just an idea someone had 30 years ago.

 

And like that people might slam things like 50 Shades (to be fair, it's wank) but there's a lot of other ideas we seem to pass as gospel that were taken from works of fiction (Story of O being a big contributor) 

TBH, i only managed the first 4 chapters of the Story of O before thinking this is a pile of 💩 so, whenever we do manage to locate the holy artefact that is the BDSM handbook i'll likely still 'make it up' as I see fit/suits me and any future partner 😂

[ey****]

11 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

TBH, i only managed the first 4 chapters of the Story of O before thinking this is a pile of 💩 so, whenever we do manage to locate the holy artefact that is the BDSM handbook i'll likely still 'make it up' as I see fit/suits me and any future partner 😂

it's probably the best way kink as we know it is still in it's infancy and a lot will shape in it's own way.

the only right way is what works for you

[Lord_Talion]

Being dominant has nothing to do with knowledge, just your personality.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Lord_Talion said:

Being dominant has nothing to do with knowledge, just your personality.

Not sure I agree. 

I mean someone who has a commanding presence might be seen as being Dominant.  But everything from how to use that to appeal to submissives to where is safe to strike someone is all knowledge. 

[Vi****]

On 4/19/2022 at 7:04 PM, CopperKnob said:

TBH, i only managed the first 4 chapters of the Story of O before thinking this is a pile of 💩 so, whenever we do manage to locate the holy artefact that is the BDSM handbook i'll likely still 'make it up' as I see fit/suits me and any future partner 😂

I'm glad I saw this I was toying with reading it but I read a small passage and thought nope, not for me. You have also swayed me to not bother:)

[ey****]

I'm going to be honest that I've also not read story of O - but....

there's a lot in there that were ideas that were 'made up' for the book which are often deemed as 'how things are' - when people dismiss things like pop culture, a lot of the ideas we promote come from other pop culture.   There was another post where chivalry comes up and that is also a romanticised idea from fiction.