Dating IS hard. For ALL genders

[CopperKnob]

Hey Bob, I'm a woman who has trouble meeting men. I know, you think I'm a rarity, but most of my single girl friends share this problem. Yep, even those who date every man they find on Tinder et al. You see, I'm not looking for any old penis owner. I want a man who puts butterflies in my stomach and who makes my head spin every time I see him. Those men are as rare as uneaten icecream in my house. In my whole entire lifetime I've met two of them, and they disintegrated into a pile of nopes because relationships don't always work out. Yes Bob, even genders that are not male endure breakups. Shockingly, the human experience is, well, an experience that all humans tend to have.

And, Bob, we're every bit as human as you are. I know this news has probably blindsided you, but those of us that are not male don't get on with every romantic interest on the planet. For every man who breaks up with a woman, there's a woman who breaks up with a man. The logic is so, logical, it hurts my head to even think about it.

Men have tastes, and so do all the other genders. Personally, I want a man whose wit is as sharp as the sharpest object, who wears a tight white t-shirt with black jeans and cowboy boots.... I want a man who talks about how much they hate icecream... or how much they love icecream... or how disinterested they are in icecream. OK, not so much the former or the latter. It's passion, I want a man whose passionate about something. But really, I digress because the point is, not all women are compatible with everyone.

Sometimes we're too shy to get the guy. Sometimes, we're too terrified. Sometimes, the guy who makes your heart jump into your throat finds you unbearable. Yes Bob, women get rejected, too. Involuntary celibacy exists in all of us because this too, is a universal part of the human condition.

You haven't been uniquely victimised by female disinterest. Your dating woes are not exclusive to your gender. The rejections you experience are a normal part of this thing we call life.

It's true that women receive a lot of messages on Fet, but most of them are white noise. My latest messages have been, and I quote:

"Hi,
How is going miss?

You search for a master, is that correct?"

Or

"I'd love to leave you dripping and gaping"

I'm sure you understand why I won't be responding to the magnificent jewels that those opening message are.

We can talk statistics all we want, the supposed 10:1 men:woman ratio or the 80/20%. Just because women may get more attention doesn't mean it's wholesome or leading anywhere.

Even when I've gone through a self imposed involuntary celibacy for six months, I didn't bother with those kinds of messages. I'd rather have no sex than bad sex. Maybe you would 🦆 a woman who doesn't know how to speak in full sentences or goes straight to sex talk. Maybe you think I'm a snob for not, but I'm betting if you were dealing with that ☝️ you'd get tired of it pretty damn quickly.

I got tired of shagging assholes back when I was in my 20's. Nowadays I'd rather spend time with my girls. At least when they visit, they bring icecream, wine and decent conversation.

[La****]

And that's not even adding Kink to the mix

[Deleted Member]

I think some issues are that most men don’t know how to approach a woman. Then you have some who are too afraid to properly approve a woman. You also have to understand that men get denied A LOT. Whether they put effort in the message or not. While women have to deal with the obnoxious messages on a constant basis of course, it becomes a drag to respond to some of these messages. Even if it seems that effort got put in to it or not. By now I think most recognize the body of a message as indicators to a red flag or not.

[Now38]

Who is Bob?

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Now38 said:

Who is Bob?

I believe bob posted something a couple of days ago about it from his perspective.

[ge****]

OK I have questions:
.
Who's Bob? Hope, Geldof, Blackadder Bob, Holmes or some other Bob? That third one could be revealing if it's them 🤣😂
.
How does "self-imposed involuntary celibacy" work? Bit of a head scratcher that one 🤷‍♂️😀
.
I've still not given Phish Food a try - blame Green Day - am I disqualified from further comment?
.
As a bisexual man where does that leave me in the equation? Apart from greedy of course, though I do accept hand me downs 😂🤣
.
More after this commercial break...

[PJ****]

So you're saying that if I bring ice-cream I've got a chance? 😶😂

[CopperKnob]

14 minutes ago, EddyRay said:

I believe bob posted something a couple of days ago about it from his perspective.

No, Bob's imaginary. I use the name Bob to describe a group of individuals when they're male and Betty if those individuals are female. Bob's not really real and nor is Betty

[Lord_Talion]

It's the same bs that everyone deals with cause there's too many fakes and ubber-doms out there. Like it's gotten so bad for us of the community that we need to get Italian on their asses!

[CopperKnob]

14 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

OK I have questions:
.
Who's Bob? Hope, Geldof, Blackadder Bob, Holmes or some other Bob? That third one could be revealing if it's them 🤣😂
.
How does "self-imposed involuntary celibacy" work? Bit of a head scratcher that one 🤷‍♂️😀
.
I've still not given Phish Food a try - blame Green Day - am I disqualified from further comment?
.
As a bisexual man where does that leave me in the equation? Apart from greedy of course, though I do accept hand me downs 😂🤣
.
More after this commercial break...

😂😂😂
This is hard work. Bob is not real. Would you prefer I use a different name? Answers on a postcard please

Scratching my head at my use of too many worss to say one thing. It's not helping the headache but it is the head lice

I don't know how I could accept Green Day as any type of excuse for not trying Phish Food. I mean that sounds like the Father of all MF'rs (see what I did there?)

Don't get me started on stats. Maths is not a strong point and so I don't believe in it

Back in 2mins 30s

[ge****]

4 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

😂😂😂
This is hard work. Bob is not real. Would you prefer I use a different name? Answers on a postcard please

Scratching my head at my use of too many worss to say one thing. It's not helping the headache but it is the head lice

I don't know how I could accept Green Day as any type of excuse for not trying Phish Food. I mean that sounds like the Father of all MF'rs (see what I did there?)

Don't get me started on stats. Maths is not a strong point and so I don't believe in it

Back in 2mins 30s

Could you maybe use Phyllis? Or perhaps Tarquin? Bob just has me quoting Blackadder or asking for a P please 🤣😂
.
I doff my hat to thee though as I see exactly what you did there and didn't stoop to making me out to be having a 21st Century breakdown in doing so 😉😁
.
It currently says 4 mins below your post - does that mean you're late?

[CopperKnob]

2 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Could you maybe use Phyllis? Or perhaps Tarquin? Bob just has me quoting Blackadder or asking for a P please 🤣😂
.
I doff my hat to thee though as I see exactly what you did there and didn't stoop to making me out to be having a 21st Century breakdown in doing so 😉😁
.
It currently says 4 mins below your post - does that mean you're late?

Lateness comes with the job role i'm afraid. Timeliness is not a quality they look for. In fact, they knock all of that out of us at Uni. True fact

How about Albert or Chester. I like Chester.

I also didn't want to make you feel old because I know I have a habit of doing that

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, PJ3000 said:

So you're saying that if I bring ice-cream I've got a chance? 😶😂

How passionate are you about icecream, that's the key

[ge****]

55 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Lateness comes with the job role i'm afraid. Timeliness is not a quality they look for. In fact, they knock all of that out of us at Uni. True fact

How about Albert or Chester. I like Chester.

I also didn't want to make you feel old because I know I have a habit of doing that

Chester could work, but then given it was a made up man there may be confusion with that city oop north..so maybe Albert would be best...so long as you don't make him a Prince 😂

Oh I've given up on feeling old...I'm taking Groucho's view 🤣😂

[Pl****]

I think what always gets me is how so many people complain as if it's the world that's wrong. Even a lot of the ones that seem like they're asking for advice really just want some kind of shortcut, and have no interest in doing the hard work of actually becoming a better person. There's so little self-reflection about how their writing comes across, or what else they could be doing wrong. There's never a thought to putting some effort into getting higher quality photos, or hitting the gym, dressing better, etc. It's mostly just doing the same things over and over and wondering why they keep getting the same results, and then blaming other people, or the system, or something else. Maybe that whole "treat others the way you would like to be treated" sentiment backfires here, since I think a substantial number of these guys would be thrilled to receive the same kind of base sexual messages they send, but there's never a "maybe I don't know my audience well enough." 

Again with the sweets though. There's nothing I love more on a date than splitting a dessert, and nothing I love more when dining by myself than eating a whole one, so I always know where the best desserts are. I can tell you nearly every single ice cream and frozen yogurt place in my mid-sized city, and how good they are. I just had some delicious soft-serve earlier today. There's this secret fat kid that lives inside me, and your posts always make him feel like the coolest kid on the planet.

[PJ****]

42 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

How passionate are you about icecream, that's the key

I mean... I really really like ice-cream! I could totally eat like... at least 5 right now! 🤷‍♂️

[CopperKnob]

16 minutes ago, PJ3000 said:

I mean... I really really like ice-cream! I could totally eat like... at least 5 right now! 🤷‍♂️

What, tubs????

[CopperKnob]

41 minutes ago, Pleasurecalculus said:

I think what always gets me is how so many people complain as if it's the world that's wrong. Even a lot of the ones that seem like they're asking for advice really just want some kind of shortcut, and have no interest in doing the hard work of actually becoming a better person. There's so little self-reflection about how their writing comes across, or what else they could be doing wrong. There's never a thought to putting some effort into getting higher quality photos, or hitting the gym, dressing better, etc. It's mostly just doing the same things over and over and wondering why they keep getting the same results, and then blaming other people, or the system, or something else. Maybe that whole "treat others the way you would like to be treated" sentiment backfires here, since I think a substantial number of these guys would be thrilled to receive the same kind of base sexual messages they send, but there's never a "maybe I don't know my audience well enough." 

Again with the sweets though. There's nothing I love more on a date than splitting a dessert, and nothing I love more when dining by myself than eating a whole one, so I always know where the best desserts are. I can tell you nearly every single ice cream and frozen yogurt place in my mid-sized city, and how good they are. I just had some delicious soft-serve earlier today. There's this secret fat kid that lives inside me, and your posts always make him feel like the coolest kid on the planet.

I think as humans, we're creatures of habit and so we like our routines and doing the same old same old because it makes us feel secure as opposed to being vulnerable
I also think that, as I was saying to someone else, we can often get our knickers in a twist making it hard to rationalise situations or look at ourselves.
Dating is hard, hell, life is hard.

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Chester could work, but then given it was a made up man there may be confusion with that city oop north..so maybe Albert would be best...so long as you don't make him a Prince 😂

Oh I've given up on feeling old...I'm taking Groucho's view 🤣😂

We just need to keep learning to keep young or something like that?

[ge****]

2 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

We just need to keep learning to keep young or something like that?

Nah you're only as old as the man/woman you feel - which given the thread (and me most of the time) doesn't really fit 😂🤣

[CopperKnob]

14 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Nah you're only as old as the man/woman you feel - which given the thread (and me most of the time) doesn't really fit 😂🤣

Not when there's "self imposed involuntary celibacy" 😂😂

[ge****]

1 minute ago, CopperKnob said:

Not when there's "self imposed involuntary celibacy" 😂😂

Touché 😂🤣

[Deleted Member]

While I have sympathy for the poor interactions, I think a key distinction is for a nontrivial number of men they get literally nothing. For as little effort as I put in I actually do OK on regular dating sites but for many men it's zero interaction at all. And for the starved, even junk food is better than nothing. 

Dating is hard but unrealistic expectations in all parties is causing serious problems at least online.  

[PJ****]

2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

What, tubs????

Maaaaaaybe 😶

[Ar****]

4 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

How passionate are you about icecream, that's the key

I mean, you will understand exactly why I managed to laugh through my nose and nearly choke at the same time when I read the ice cream part of your original post 🙈👀