If you *think* you have "No Limits"....READ THIS!!

[CopperKnob]

9 minutes ago, HarshDictator said:

The context is not important here, but it is about the laws that apply in each country, and I am not familiar with the UK codes and the international treaties and jurisprudence that (still) apply after Brexit. And if you scour the internet you will find enough judgments that show that when there is an *** that consent does not matter, and depending on the country, health insurance does not reimburse treatments. I'm giving something to think about here, partly because of "consent - risks - consequences" and don't intend to turn it into a legal pissing contest, I have more than enough of that during the day at work. Sometimes prevention is better than cure, that's my verdict

You mean in a community that places so much importance upon communication language and context is irrelevant?
You may not have appreciated the legal approach in my comment which was, in fact, a response to yours about the legality of various BDSM acts but that didn't stop you acting as a Judge before giving your "verdict"
And nope, Brexit did not affect the use of either the HRA98 or the ECHR in any way shape or form within England or Wales

[Ha****]

13 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

You mean in a community that places so much importance upon communication language and context is irrelevant?
You may not have appreciated the legal approach in my comment which was, in fact, a response to yours about the legality of various BDSM acts but that didn't stop you acting as a Judge before giving your "verdict"
And nope, Brexit did not affect the use of either the HRA98 or the ECHR in any way shape or form within England or Wales

Dutch and UK weapons legislation differ when it comes to knives. German and Dutch firearms legislation, for example, also deviate from each other. Every country has its own legislation. A knife with which you can walk on the street in the UK is prohibited in the Netherlands. It's great that you cited the ECtHR, take a closer look at Article 6 in conjunction with Article 8. A rather funny example with regard to local legislation is that you can eat peanuts in church anywhere in the Netherlands, in Boston this is forbidden by law.

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, HarshDictator said:

Dutch and UK weapons legislation differ when it comes to knives. German and Dutch firearms legislation, for example, also deviate from each other. Every country has its own legislation. A knife with which you can walk on the street in the UK is prohibited in the Netherlands. It's great that you cited the ECtHR, take a closer look at Article 6 in conjunction with Article 8. A rather funny example with regard to local legislation is that you can eat peanuts in church anywhere in the Netherlands, in Boston this is forbidden by law.

I mentioned different countries gave different legislation. I also quoted the HRA 🤷‍♀️

[QXX666]

15 hours ago, Finally_Jen said:

I literally named the 3 things that are classed universally (to my knowledge) illegal 

Wrong again 

[li****]

52 minutes ago, QXX666 said:

Wrong again 

How is Jen wrong when she was referring to underage, maiming and *** being illegal?? Stop fishing for an argument because clearly this is what you're after........ 

Edited May 5, 2023 by lil-monster

[Je****]

9 hours ago, QXX666 said:

Wrong again 

So underage, *** and beasts aren't illegal..??

Youre concerning. 

[QXX666]

1 hour ago, Finally_Jen said:

So underage, *** and beasts aren't illegal..??

Youre concerning. 

I am concerned about your lack of research before writing a piece on legality of acts/actions. 
 

underage sex varied between 12 and 21, and more in countries when it’s illegal if you are not married 

*** obviously is not legal by definition 🤷‍♂️ but you could get away in most corrupted countries 

beasts is legal in some European countries and others part of the world. 
 

this is factual stance not an opinion and I would add that I strongly condemn underage sex. 

[ey****]

yeah, so - while we might think it's obvious

Japan, Cuba, Russia, Chile, Hungary, Finland, Romania - bestiality is legal in those countries (and others!) 
And age of consent - 11 is the youngest, but some countries go up to 21 and a whole bunch it's illegal outside marriage.

 

In some ways it's slightly straw - but - to cherry pick.  Germany and a whole bunch of European countries has an age of consent of 14, UK is 16, and US is 16-18

And while some is moot because this site is rightfully 18+

If someone had limits of "nothing illegal" then yeah, like, technically some regions - being spanked IS illegal but giving a blowjob to someone who is 17 is not.   Some of this gets into wider points above about limits not being exhaustive and open communication but "nothing illegal" is definitely one of the phrases I feel people should drop.

I guess just like someone shouldn't have to specify "my limit is you cutting off my left hand" they shouldn't have to specify some of the other dubious things.  Especially when they're based in a country where chunks of BDSM is technically illegal

[Ar****]

6 minutes ago, QXX666 said:

underage sex varied between 12 and 21, and more in countries when it’s illegal if you are not married

Nobody brought up what the age/location was. Heck, even in the US where this site has a hefty number of members the age of consent from state to state. So you agree? Underage sex is illegal, universally, right? 

 

11 minutes ago, QXX666 said:

*** obviously is not legal by definition 🤷‍♂️ but you could get away in most corrupted countries

And what has getting away with it got to do with anything? That could be said about so much. You appear to have just agreed in the most possibly clear way that *** is universally illegal.

[Mesond]

On 5/3/2023 at 3:12 PM, Finally_Jen said:

In the world of Fetish and BDSM, we all have things we like, don't like, would try and wouldn't try...

But, if anyone else is like me, it's excruciating to read and see people state they have "No Limits", or "Would try anything". 

 

No. No, you wouldn't, and if you would, you need to rethink your place in this community and society.

 

People have often came into the chat rooms and stated they have "no limits" and people have often joked and jested about thing which quickly changes people's minds. 

But they have a point and it's a harsh lesson...

 

Let me say now, if you *think* you have "no limits", you are opening yourself to ***, and/or going down a very dangerous path. 

 

For example limits can be anything from:

- Spanking.

- Urine. Golden showers etc..

- Scat. Fart play.

- DDLG / age play.

- CNC (consent non consent), such as R*pe play, Abduction, sleep play, etc..

- ***, cutting, needles, knives etc..

- Illegal activities, such as underage people, maiming/being seriously injured.

- Bodily fluids.

- Having your head shaved.

- Branding.

- Feet, anal play, cock locked, chastity etc..

- Financial play. Findoms, bleeding someone's wallet dry, being denied *** of your own.

- Tied up without consent.

- Safe words.

- Smoking, fire, burns.

 

The list can go on. Anything that someone likes and enjoys can be a fetish, but everyone has a limit within that. 

A lot of the above are safe and acceptable when being done with someone you love, trust or have built a rapport with. 

If you are careless, and don't vet someone and think having "no limits" will make you more appealing, you are VERY wrong. This just attracts the wrong type of people. And as mentioned a lot of the above are safe and gentle, but they're also not for everyone. BUT... the illegal ones especially ARE limits that everyone SHOULD have. 

I've seen and heard some scary things, right down to someone wanting a Dom, to "unalive" them via knives, and alcohol... Because that person was unhappy, they wanted a "no limits" Dom to 'help' them with their "fantasies" but this isn't a fantasy. This person wanted to lure someone in, who maybe didn't know better and the Dom IF they had of helped, would be facing manslaughter/*** charges, and a lengthy prison sentence. But that "no limits" Dom, suddenly decided fatally hurting someone was a "limit". 

This isn't something to take lightly, or that should even take a second thought to consider as a limit. No one should be partaking in anything that is breaking the law, ruining someone's life or even going against their own self for the sake of someone else, simply for a quick fuck or to pass time. 

 

If you have read that list and haven't found at least 3 limits there, you should leave all communities and rethink some life choices. This place preaches safe practises, consent and respect. 

Please don't be stupid. 

 

You can only trap yourself in your own mind. If you limit yourself out of *** you will not reach your full potential. Concerns exist. Danger exists. Most certainty. But not limits. I've seen people contradict themelves too much. *** makes hypocrites and liars of people. It's pretty easy to get people to enjoy what they think they can't. With the right attitude. The "can do" attitude in other words. ragardless of what the situation is, either you make the best of it or you don't.

The problem isn't the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem. Either you have confidence or you're being pessimistic. This is a you a problem. Not a "them" problem. I will continue to explain why you are incorrect in your assumptions and irrational ***.

I enjoy being a target. I love being ***d. Love is ***. You got a problem with ***? That's your problem. I got a thicker skin and I learned how to get it the hard way. Personally I never had the support. So I had to learn the harder way. It taught me a lot though. As bad as that was, being threatened with weapons was one of the best days of my life. Where grudges fade and it was just about playing. Still know that person to this day as well. What's so bad about a personal attack when you react and respond more positivity towards it? My point here is that you can ony be bullied if you think you can be. You're only a victim if you think of yourself as a victim.

I am capable of anything. I am no limits. As are others. Have you considered that you could be jealous of those that are more capable then you are? Instead of looking down on us, what about learning from us? The more people explore, the more they understand. The more of a thicker skin they have. We earned this. People that don't yet learn enough can still choose to pursue the path. It's ours to walk. Why judge us for it? Why judge us for choosing optimsm in all things? To play in all things. Why judge us for wanting to learn to do better in more?

Be optimistic in anything. That's what it's all about.

[Chloebear]

1 hour ago, Mesond said:

You can only trap yourself in your own mind. If you limit yourself out of *** you will not reach your full potential. Concerns exist. Danger exists. Most certainty. But not limits. I've seen people contradict themelves too much. *** makes hypocrites and liars of people. It's pretty easy to get people to enjoy what they think they can't. With the right attitude. The "can do" attitude in other words. ragardless of what the situation is, either you make the best of it or you don't.

The problem isn't the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem. Either you have confidence or you're being pessimistic. This is a you a problem. Not a "them" problem. I will continue to explain why you are incorrect in your assumptions and irrational ***.

I enjoy being a target. I love being ***d. Love is ***. You got a problem with ***? That's your problem. I got a thicker skin and I learned how to get it the hard way. Personally I never had the support. So I had to learn the harder way. It taught me a lot though. As bad as that was, being threatened with weapons was one of the best days of my life. Where grudges fade and it was just about playing. Still know that person to this day as well. What's so bad about a personal attack when you react and respond more positivity towards it? My point here is that you can ony be bullied if you think you can be. You're only a victim if you think of yourself as a victim.

I am capable of anything. I am no limits. As are others. Have you considered that you could be jealous of those that are more capable then you are? Instead of looking down on us, what about learning from us? The more people explore, the more they understand. The more of a thicker skin they have. We earned this. People that don't yet learn enough can still choose to pursue the path. It's ours to walk. Why judge us for it? Why judge us for choosing optimsm in all things? To play in all things. Why judge us for wanting to learn to do better in more?

Be optimistic in anything. That's what it's all about.

Lack of *** makes dead and injured people. This is just wreckless… be all eat, pray, love about what breakfast you choose tomorrow but for the sake of reason don’t embrace no limits because of a little joie de vivre.

When you assess a risk you do it in proportion to the possible outcome. Smaller liability means you can be more risky. When you’re playing about with people’s health, safety, psych wellbeing, sexual wellbeing… any combo of those… we’re not looking at a small liability. I suppose at least the number of people who choose to play with no limits will in itself reduce the overall risk, because your post is concerningly flippant about safety. It worries me that people think this within this community.

[Chloebear]

Ps if you’re optimistic when you walk in front of a truck does it hurt less when you get hit? Do you break fewer bones? Your outlook doesn’t determine factual risk.

[li****]

I wouldn't poke the bear anymore than you have to 🙄 he's always fishing for an argument just don't give him the time of day.

 

@Finally_Jenthis has been a fantastic piece of writing and one I say you have researched well. I agree for someone to say they have no limits is very stupid and idiotic........even some slaves have limits!!!! Some people baffle and scare me to be honest 

[QXX666]

1 hour ago, lil-monster said:

I wouldn't poke the bear anymore than you have to 🙄 he's always fishing for an argument just don't give him the time of day.

 

@Finally_Jenthis has been a fantastic piece of writing and one I say you have researched well. I agree for someone to say they have no limits is very stupid and idiotic........even some slaves have limits!!!! Some people baffle and scare me to be honest 

I don’t appreciate the tone of your comment. Making sweeping statement and assumption about me. You are the one actually fishing for argument. I simply stated facts which collaborate with others. 

You should be careful as you are getting personal now and insulting, so the bear you are poking is the Mod next time 

 

this would be my last reply on the topic….. 

[BigPolly]

‘No Limits’ is a lack of self respect, an unwillingness to learn, a lack of patience or simply a lack of knowledge.
I understand anyone new to the scene can be a bit excitable & wanting to try all sorts but unfortunately their wording when asking for help to become experienced, becomes dangerous.

The rule of ‘never go online when drunk or horny’ often falls by the wayside as some are too nervous to step forwards with a sober mind & that’s understandable but unfortunately this leaves open prey for the ***rs & bullies. 

This topic comes up on here so often it’s frightening.

I often think how it was easier to learn when I was younger & we didn’t have the internet, we went to clubs & events. People knew people within the scene & if someone needed help or information it was there in a safe environment. 
If someone ***d the rules, their name was branded about so you were somewhat protected. 
It was much more black & white than.

My friends ex husband is in prison for being a nonce. I guess when someone says they have ‘No Limits’……

[li****]

14 minutes ago, QXX666 said:

I don’t appreciate the tone of your comment. Making sweeping statement and assumption about me. You are the one actually fishing for argument. I simply stated facts which collaborate with others. 

You should be careful as you are getting personal now and insulting, so the bear you are poking is the Mod next time 

 

this would be my last reply on the topic….. 

👍🤣

[li****]

9 minutes ago, BigPolly said:

‘No Limits’ is a lack of self respect, an unwillingness to learn, a lack of patience or simply a lack of knowledge.
I understand anyone new to the scene can be a bit excitable & wanting to try all sorts but unfortunately their wording when asking for help to become experienced, becomes dangerous.

The rule of ‘never go online when drunk or horny’ often falls by the wayside as some are too nervous to step forwards with a sober mind & that’s understandable but unfortunately this leaves open prey for the ***rs & bullies. 

This topic comes up on here so often it’s frightening.

I often think how it was easier to learn when I was younger & we didn’t have the internet, we went to clubs & events. People knew people within the scene & if someone needed help or information it was there in a safe environment. 
If someone ***d the rules, their name was branded about so you were somewhat protected. 
It was much more black & white than.

My friends ex husband is in prison for being a nonce. I guess when someone says they have ‘No Limits’……

This!!!!! I 💙 this so hard. Thank you Polly!!!! 

[AnimeBlonde23]

Yesssssss! I can't count how many times I've had a conversation with someone who says I have no limits! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Fair enough you don't want to close yourself off to exploring but for f**k sake you have to take responsibility for your safety and the safety of your partners!

I've often said, why not have two lists your hard limits of absolutely not, then a soft limits of, I'm not sure about that right now or it would need to be with a specific person I have trust in.

Limits are not limitations they are tools to keep you safe - use them!

[Je****]

13 hours ago, Mesond said:

I am capable of anything. I am no limits

Then you're part of the problem. 

 

I am ruled by *** or pessimism. Sure 🙄

 

I am not one to endorse or condone ***, underage, *** or beasts, and these things ARE limits to every decent human being. 

To say you don't have these. You are the problem. You are not free and open and u ***ful. You are a problem. 

 

You like ***. Good for you. That's not a limit for you. It might be for others. 

I don't care about what is ok, most of us have things we are ok with. 

I am concerned for those who think ruining innocent lives is not a limit. 

You sound dangerous. And irresponsible. You are more the reason I'd have ***. Knowing in society someone thinks there's no limits for the unconsenting *which is what I was referring to, and you criticised/called me wrong for*, is honestly terrifying. 

 

Edited May 6, 2023 by Finally_Jen

[Ha****]

18 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Then you're part of the problem. 

 

I am ruled by *** or pessimism. Sure 🙄

 

I am not one to endorse or condone ***, underage, *** or beasts, and these things ARE limits to every decent human being. 

To say you don't have these. You are the problem. You are not free and open and u ***ful. You are a problem. 

 

You like ***. Good for you. That's not a limit for you. It might be for others. 

I don't care about what is ok, most of us have things we are ok with. 

I am concerned for those who think ruining innocent lives is not a limit. 

You sound dangerous. And irresponsible. You are more the reason I'd have ***. Knowing in society someone thinks there's no limits for the unconsenting *which is what I was referring to, and you criticised/called me wrong for*, is honestly terrifying. 

 

I am much more concerned about the absence of knowledge, norms, values and quality communication. Were these qualities still part of BDSM then we wouldn't even have to have this discussion. Don't get me wrong, not having knowledge is no harm but not accepting it on the other hand is a great shame, just to puke. Anyway, having "no limits" sounds about as cool as a 18 year old identifying as "pro Domminatrix/Domme/Mistress". It's a hodgepodge of put-together "I know everything" these days.

[Du****]

6 minutes ago, HarshDictator said:

I am much more concerned about the absence of knowledge, norms, values and quality communication. Were these qualities still part of BDSM then we wouldn't even have to have this discussion. Don't get me wrong, not having knowledge is no harm but not accepting it on the other hand is a great shame, just to puke. Anyway, having "no limits" sounds about as cool as a 18 year old identifying as "pro Domminatrix/Domme/Mistress". It's a hodgepodge of put-together "I know everything" these days.

Of course. I’ve read your bio. You’re only here to

“piss on the worthless and ridiculous articles in the forum, because besides amateurs, wannabes, and scammers, there’s nothing to find here”.

I would say you have much to learn about the real community, friend.

[Ha****]

11 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I do not hide from anyone and have no difficulty defending my opinion, views and observations. In fact, I publish what I stand for, freely accessible to everyone. More people should do that instead of walking with the crowd to be liked. And, if anyone has problems with my opinions or views, he/she is happy to report them. So, if you're insinuating something, don't hide it, say it?

[li****]

44 minutes ago, HarshDictator said:

I do not hide from anyone and have no difficulty defending my opinion, views and observations. In fact, I publish what I stand for, freely accessible to everyone. More people should do that instead of walking with the crowd to be liked. And, if anyone has problems with my opinions or views, he/she is happy to report them. So, if you're insinuating something, don't hide it, say it?

Quoted from your profile.......I have decided to keep my profile and use it to to piss on the worthless and ridiculous articles in the forum.

 

So you're a troll then!? 

[Ha****]

3 minutes ago, lil-monster said:

Quoted from your profile.......I have decided to keep my profile and use it to to piss on the worthless and ridiculous articles in the forum.

 

So you're a troll then!? 

Yep, a verified troll, so with Fet's knowledge lol

[Ky****]

one thing that is puzzling is why you think illegal activity should automatically be a limit for all of us, why?

plenty of what we consent to can breach laws, sex in a public place, whipping, branding, it wasn't that long ago in UK that 2 ppl who were physically male could not legally have sex with a 3rd person present, that's a law I broke many times- my list isn't exhaustive but you do see the point