Ghosting - Let’s be Open and Honest Instead

[Da****]

With this lifestyle that’s based on connection, openness and honesty it’s time to be real with one another. If we aren’t feeling a connection, be open and honest.
No need to argue or fight
Make it a big deal
Just say this isn’t working and move on.
This ghosting trend is becoming and epidemic and the problem when it expands into a community like this it can cause more issues…
Remember these relationships are built on open, honest, trust…
That’s what makes it different, better…
So let’s be honest and kind when it’s not working…
And stop with the ghosting

 

what are your thoughts?

[st****]

Amen

[Deleted Member]

Ghosting is the worst. I would like to have some closure or even just be shot down from the start rather than be left in limbo. Stop being rude and just speak your mind. We don’t like the games.

[st****]

I’m tierd of it too if I’m ugly to you just say it don’t leave me on read it gets really annoying when I think that person is beautiful or sexy just say your not interested

[He****]

Yeah I got ghosted recently because I was honest. But it is what it is. His loss not mine. Lol

[Yo****]

I imagine there’s some people who don’t get the message who leave little other options. It can also take a degree of confidence and self assurance to speak your mind, and that doesn’t come naturally to some people. 

[Ae****]

I'd look at myself for these kinds of things - if I'm being ghosted a lot, maybe I'm unknowingly attracting and also am myself attracted to people who ghost, as evidenced by the fact I'm giving lots of ghosters my time up until the point they disappear.

[SnakeLexRed86]

I don't mind tell people we aren't interested. I hated being ghosted when I was single.

[4R****]

OP, are you referring to suddenly being ghosted following a period of interaction or are you referring to people who don’t reply to your initial message?

I ask because there is a fundamental difference between the two.

The former I agree is inexcusable, rude and unnecessary.

Whereas the latter is a feature of this site that stops people hounding the recipient of a speculative message if they don’t respond to the initial message.

[Da****]

3 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

OP, are you referring to suddenly being ghosted following a period of interaction or are you referring to people who don’t reply to your initial message?

I ask because there is a fundamental difference between the two.

The former I agree is inexcusable, rude and unnecessary.

Whereas the latter is a feature of this site that stops people hounding the recipient of a speculative message if they don’t respond to the initial message.

I of course mean the former after a period, if there was never any real interaction then there isn’t any ghosting

[Da****]

19 minutes ago, HeatherReRa said:

Yeah I got ghosted recently because I was honest. But it is what it is. His loss not mine. Lol

Exactly

[De****]

7 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

OP, are you referring to suddenly being ghosted following a period of interaction or are you referring to people who don’t reply to your initial message?

I ask because there is a fundamental difference between the two.

The former I agree is inexcusable, rude and unnecessary.

Whereas the latter is a feature of this site that stops people hounding the recipient of a speculative message if they don’t respond to the initial message.

That was my question as well. Blowing someone off from after a connection is formed is not okay. However, I have zero obligation to reply to every dm I get.

[Da****]

21 minutes ago, YorkshireBiker said:

I imagine there’s some people who don’t get the message who leave little other options. It can also take a degree of confidence and self assurance to speak your mind, and that doesn’t come naturally to some people. 

I’m sure you’re right, however this has become a real epidemic where it’s just people’s way out…
And many people in the lifestyle have found it to be different from the norm and more of what they need.
Feel we need to be more respectful of people’s triggers and not feed into insecurities imho

[ju****]

One of my biggest problems! It makes it truly hard to enjoy the lifestyle when they just ghost ya outta the blue.

[4R****]

5 minutes ago, DaddysHere2please said:

I of course mean the former after a period, if there was never any real interaction then there isn’t any ghosting

Thanks for clarifying, unfortunately it’s often the case when this subject is discussed that it turns into people complaining about those who fail to reply to their initial advances.

[Da****]

29 minutes ago, storm_blast03 said:

I’m tierd of it too if I’m ugly to you just say it don’t leave me on read it gets really annoying when I think that person is beautiful or sexy just say your not interested

Here they even have a button that tells you it

[Da****]

33 minutes ago, Swordsman85 said:

Ghosting is the worst. I would like to have some closure or even just be shot down from the start rather than be left in limbo. Stop being rude and just speak your mind. We don’t like the games.

And that’s why many come to this community…
Feels like we need to be more open and honest, good or bad

[Da****]

5 minutes ago, juicySjoe said:

One of my biggest problems! It makes it truly hard to enjoy the lifestyle when they just ghost ya outta the blue.

Makes you wonder why people choose this, it used to be clear that we were more open and honest and accepting but now with the lifestyle becoming more watered down it’s blending in with the rest unfortunately

[Da****]

5 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

Thanks for clarifying, unfortunately it’s often the case when this subject is discussed that it turns into people complaining about those who fail to reply to their initial advances.

I get that, but for me if I say something nice and get nothing back that was never anything to begin with. I appreciate not having my time wasted, but to waste time and then be left to wonder…

[FG****]

Amen! I've been saying this for a while. Don't ghost people, be open and honest. No hard feelings, better than ghosting! Also this app has a feature for this too that I feel is cold, but I guess that's a me thing? I'd MUCH PREFER a simple "hey I'm not interested, thanks though" instead of the cold and distant automated message.

[de****]

I'm glad people are saying this more lately, maybe we can finally work towards less ghosting. It shouldn't be daunting to tell someone you just aren't feeling the connection, we should also be able to accept receiving that.

[Th****]

Ghosting is cowardly in my book. Its one thing if the person is clearly a danger but its another if theyeve been perfectly respectful too you. The reality is a person who ghosts someone is typically just someone who doesnt want to deal with the complicated emotions of ending things so rather than be mature and suck it up and do that they just dip and say nothing. Showing they clearly werent emotionally mature enough for a relationship anyways

[Ba****]

I have dealt with this many times over the years and, the flip side of being judged and put down. Honestly it comes down to mental health and that in itself isn’t recognized in a healthy way in society. I have adapted to guarding my energy and challenging my feelings on the matter. Most of the time the issue is flipped to understand it isn’t me or my problem. Allowing the emotions to pass and moving on with different healthy tactics. I understand I was not born with a silver tongue in conversation yet building my confidence has improved the responses. Some humans want the world to burn and that negativity isn’t mine to hold onto. Hope that helps on the subject. Little ranty 😂

[Deleted Member]

Given up on this. Literally everyone seems to ghost for almost no reason at all. Society is collapsing. Surf the kali yuga

[Deleted Member]

Any relationship should be built on mutual trust, mutual respect, mutual openness and mutual honesty.

The honesty within BDSM is arguably the most important thing and if that’s lost, then we are going to lose many existing people in the community, and people being deterred from entering.

We should all be able to express ourselves in an open, honest and transparent way, which is why I enjoy the community so much.

Ghosting is a plague and it has to be stopped.