If you're starting your journey into bondage or looking to introduce it into your relationship(s), our BDSM advice columnist Molly, gives one of our members looking for some bedroom bondage ideas, some guidance and inspiration. Discover what kinds of bedroom bondage fun there is to enjoy.
Dear Molly,
We're a couple looking for bedroom bondage ideas and are relatively new to it all. So far, I have found it challenging to find any useful resources for couples to share simple bondage suggestions apart from watching porn. We'd love some bondage ideas for how we can initiate couple bondage in a way that sets the mood and bondage ideas for the things to tie people with - including positions. Also, how to include gags and blindfolds into those moments.
Pacman1965
Dear Pacman1965,
Bedroom bondage is a very popular kink, so much so that it's almost mainstream. You can buy fluffy handcuffs and silk ties from almost all sex toy retailers, but, sometimes knowing what to buy and how to get started can be tricky. However, once you start bedroom bondage, it has the potential to really spice up your sex life.
Setting the mood for bedroom bondage
When it comes to sex, setting the mood is important, especially when in a long-term relationship. It can be easy to forget about sex when jobs, kids, housework etc. occupy a lot of your time. Setting the mood is something that should be part of foreplay or build-up to the actual time together.
Look around for some hot erotic fiction that ticks your boxes, particularly anything that features bedroom bondage themes. There are many bondage anthologies available such as Best Bondage Erotica edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. It's worth investing in some reading material, as not only can you read to one another or share stories you find hot, they can also be an excellent resource for ideas.
As well as this, you can also share stories that you find online. There are lots of sex bloggers who write hot sexy fiction. As a suggestion, email links to one another to help set the mood for later in the day. Also, think about texting or even calling one another and describing what you'd like to be doing to each other if you were together.
It's all about creating build-up and excitement for when it comes time to play. Do be conscious though of each other's needs when it comes to tiredness, work and family life. There's no point in spending time building up if you know that your evening is going to be taken up with kids or your partner is short on sleep. So, try to plan and make time for you both so you can enjoy the atmosphere you've created.
Bondage ideas for restraints
There are lots of things you can use as restraints for bondage fun that you probably have around the house — items such as dressing gown cords, ties, and belts. Stockings or tights can also make for great restraints as they tie well and have a nice bit of give in them.
However, I think it's worth investing in some bondage equipment. A nice length of rope is a must. You don't need lots to get started with, but I'd recommend buying more than one piece. Also, I would look around for some nice leather handcuffs. They look so damn sexy and are much more versatile and comfortable to wear than the metal police-type ones. I'd also recommend creating some anchor points on your bed. Or if that's not possible, there are lots of excellent under the bed restraints sets. I recommend these as they can be used in so many different ways and with all sorts of restraints.
Bondage ideas for positions
The obvious place to tie someone is to the bed, which could be face up, face down, or perhaps only the legs tied open or the arms above the head. You can also tie someone to a chair or a table (either sitting or bending over it).
When tying someone, for a sexy and exposing position, try tying their hands in front of them or hands behind them. You could also have them stand with their hands tied up above their head - or tie their wrists to their ankles, either with a set of ankle and wrist restraints, or rope. For more, take a look at Fetish.com's five basic bondage ties. The key is to build up slowly together and find the places and positions that turn you both on. .png.98d47cc1fabad13afb4446f6dd53529b.png)
Invest in some good bondage rope.
Bondage ideas for using blindfolds and gags
Blindfolds and gags are the perfect accompaniment to restraints and add an extra thrill to any bedroom bondage. You can make blindfolds out of the things you already have at home, such as ties and scarves. But if you find your partner is into being blindfolded, then I'd recommend buying one of the fleece-lined ones that block out the vision and are comfortable to wear.
Ball gags are not for everyone, so take your time to experiment with this. They can be hard work for the wearer and make your jaw ache fairly quickly. I'd recommend starting with a soft ball gag which they can bite down on. Again, you can also improvise using ties, panties, or even a dressing gown cord.
However, before you start your bondage fun, you need to talk to your partner. Don't just suddenly blindfold or gag someone with exploring the idea with them first, and I certainly wouldn't do both at the same time on the first occasion but try each one out separately.
Bedroom bondage safety
This part is like health and safety, but more sex-positive. When you're playing with restraints and potentially taking away someone's ability to see or speak, you must think about the safety aspects of what you're doing.
If using rope or any material ties, you should have a pair of safety scissors with you. Not standard scissors as they can potentially harm someone but safety scissors that have one flat side which slides against the skin. Never use zip ties to bind someone; they can gradually get tighter and tighter and cut off the circulation. Also, make sure you check your partner's circulation regularly. Their hands and feet should not feel cold to the touch or feel numb to them - if they are, then you need to stop. Never use a slip knot when tying someone with rope and never secure anything around someone's neck.
You should also discuss having a safeword and safe signal if using a gag so that the restrained partner can easily indicate to the other person if something is wrong and they want to stop.
Bondage fun - did you like it when?
Finally, another important thing is to spend time talking about the things you did together. Find out what your partner's favourite bit was, what they would love you to do again, which bit turned them on? Talking openly about the bondage fun you had will also help you to talk about the things you'd like to do together in the future, and those conversations will turn into foreplay for the next time - and the next time and the next time!
Good luck
Molly x
Have other bedroom bondage ideas? Share your tips for bondage fun with others in the Fetish.com forum. 
For tips and advice, contact Molly via her Fetish.com profile or visit her thread in the BDSM Forum. 
Cover Image: model released from Shutterstock.com
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