When is a PDA Kink Too Much or Not Enough?

The problem with public displays of affection (PDA) is that we all have different opinions on what’s appropriate. When does a PDA kink become too much, asks writer Sienna Saint-Cyr.

Some might say holding your partner’s waist is too much. For others, it might be a gentle peck on the cheek or a more drastic style of sucking face. One of the issues is that we all have our own frequently very differing views on what constitutes a PDA.

Hidden PDA kink

You might be thinking, “How is it PDA if you’re hiding?” But that answer is simple. If you’re in public, it’s a public display of affection. What I mean by hidden is that we don’t need to stand right in front of a couple and suck face. We can stand to the side of a walkway or find an alley, or any number of things to stay out of direct sight. People might still see, but they won’t be staring right at us. Not only does this show respect to those around us, but it makes me feel scandalous and naughty. Always two great things to feel about PDA kink!

What you don't want others to see

I love being cornered or backed into a wall. It makes my heart race, and I much prefer it to kissing. But that’s a level of behavioural and relationship display that isn’t the standard and might be uncomfortable for others to see. But doing this behind a wall where I can hear others talking and moving about, knowing they can’t see what’s happening, oh so hot!

What kind of PDA kink do you like? Image: Garry Knight via Flickr.com CC BY 2.0 license.

The role of a lookout in PDA kink

Another thing we can do, and I’m a huge fan of this one, is to be a lookout during PDA kink. I have a partner that does this. He waits until no one is looking and then acts. That way he’s not making anyone feel awkward or bad about what they witnessed. This means I might get my butt pinched or maybe even a nipple. Which certainly keeps me a happy girl.

In some cases, I do the opposite and deliberately do something in public. When my husband and I lived in a more racist part of the country, we would get the worst looks and whispers just because we held hands, because we were mixing race. Rather than stop showing affection in public, anytime this happened, we’d stop right there and make out! So hiding isn’t always the right answer either. Sometimes putting on a show is a public service with the most gratifying results.

PDA kink doesn't always equal fireworks

A PDA kink can be amazingly hot or horribly embarrassing for all involved. There may be times where a little canoodling behind a barrier is called for, or maybe a very public and deeply passionate kiss for all to see. Where you are and what you’re doing might mean the difference between someone calling the cops or drooling as they watch the sexy scene unfold!

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating.

What are your experiences with PDA kink? What do you think is ok to do in public? Share your thoughts in the Fetish.com forum.

Cover image: Justin Kerr Sheckler via Flickr.com CC BY 2.0 license

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The first time I had public sex :3

So here's a context I had a mistress at 18 btw I was sub she was dom Now we've had sex many times ya know, me fuckin her, her fucking me, ya know the usual One day we were walking though a mall, of course she made me wear my tail plug in as we walked around the store, I had a collar and leash around my neck, well we stopped at a store it was crowded and busy af, so she took me to the back part of said store, little did I know i was gonna get my Brains fucked out, so she pushed me against a wall, ripped my plug out and proceeded to pull down my pants and her pants as she was already wearing a strap on, she covered my mouth and proceeded to fuck the hell out of me in the back of the store in plane view of cameras and people walking by. I was completely *** getting mindlessly fucked, I didn't care if anyone seen, I cummed so much all over the wall, all over myself and I was panting by the end of it legs shaking and mind completely broken, I didn't realize she put my plug back in and pulled my pants up the only thing I remembered her saying to me at that point was "such a good boy for mommy~ come on darling lets go home and clean you up messy boy~" 40 Likes 6 Replies· 7 months ago

Public sex

If you love public sex comment and where was your first public sex was at I remember mine was at a public park 9 Likes 41 Replies· over 3 years ago

*** of Public Sex

I’ve Got a confession ☺️ Can you be into something if you’ve never done it before? I crave public sex. I just want to bury someone’s face in between my legs on an elevator. Or ride someone straight through a drive through 😋 How do I get over this ***!! Maybe I need the right person to bring it out of me 🤷🏽‍♀️ 5 Likes 7 Replies· almost 6 years ago

Bunny, Pt. 15 - Jake’s Stash, Tough Love, and the Healing Powers of Public Sex

I’ll be posting this intro for a bit; So, we are getting into the meat of the book now — which means there’s some new characters being introduced, and that means more dialogue, and not always leaping straight into the sex bit. We are also getting into some difficult family territory as well, which may or may not be interesting to people. That doesn’t mean the sex isn’t happening, it just means the scene and character building is a thing, and we may take a bit to lead up to it. I hope you all stay interested. This is based on my life, and the things that made me how I am, so of course it’s interesting to ME — and sometimes ***ful, even. As always, thank you for reading, and for your wonderful comments! ————- I wake up to the smell of bacon frying, and the sound of male laughter. I pry open my eyes against the bright sunlight to the sight of my brother and Nick in the kitchenette, making an unholy mess of a breakfast — Nick shirtless and wearing my hot pink apron with a White Sox cap perched backwards on his head, and Jake likewise shirtless, his baggy jeans lowslung, boxers sticking out a la 90s Gangster rapper. I can see every vertebrae in my baby brother’s spine, and his stomach is concave. I hold in a wince, and sit up, calling out in mock horror — “***y Hell, what is this? The full Monty?” They both turn to me, and Nick slings his arm around Jakes’s broad, but bony shoulders — “This, Love, is called breakfast in bed! Courtesy of the two most handsome men in all Chicago.” They both strike a pose – Jake sticking his rear out, and Nick making as if to paddle it with the spatula. “Dear God,” I groan, then burst out laughing. I stand up and stretch, then amble over to my own bed, walking a bit delicately after my activities last night with Nick. Jake, eagle-eyed as ever, notices. “You OK, Sis? You’re walking kinda funny…” Nick spins around, his full attention on the bacon now. I nod and shrug – “Yeah, just pulled something in ballet. Same old. You know me.” “Oh, yeah…” he says, dismissively, turning back to the oven and flipping some eggs. “You should take a hot bath — you know that always helps.” In a few minutes, we’re all sitting on my bed with plates – scarfing down a delicious breakfast of eggs over easy, fried potatoes, and thick cut bacon. Jake is a great cook, and loves feeding me as much as he loves to eat — which is a lot. Nick eyes me significantly as we watch my brother hoover down a second huge helping of food, then casually says — “Hey, Bunny – your larder is looking a little light. What say I take the Kid here and go stock up? Two mouths to feed now and all that. Plus, I can show you around the hood a bit, Jake. What do you say?“ “Cool!” Jake agrees around a mouthful of food, nodding. I glance at Nick gratefully — “Sounds like a plan! Are ladies invited to this epic adventure? Or is this a guys only sort of thing?” Nick looks at me and flips his hand dismissively, “Don’t you have some girly things to attend to, like, I dunno, ***ting your pinky toes, or perfuming your lingerie drawer?” I roll my eyes and lean back on the pillows as he gathers the plates, piling them in the sink. “Fine,” I say. “You boys go have your caveman time — slaughter the grocery store, and whatnot. I’ll just be here. Making necklaces out of bones and teeth.” ————— Nick: Are you checking his bag? I’ve sent him off to find beef jerky. I’m in the produce aisle Me: Doing it now. Thank you so much, N. Nick: Don’t be a silly twat. Just find his stash. See u soon xo Me: See u soon XOXO ————— I find it rolled up in a sock, in a Ziplock baggie. A few bars of Xanax, some DXM, a few Vicodin, and a couple of pills I don’t recognize. My fist closes around the bag in a curious mix of rage and sadness, and tears fill my eyes immediately. I quickly debate what to do with the stuff. Flush it, or confront him with it? If I ignore it, he’ll just find a way to go get more…and maybe think he just lost it. More likely, though, he’ll know I was going through his stuff. If I confront him, he’ll definitely know I was going through his stuff, and he’ll be mad, but we’ve been there before, and that’s familiar territory. I hate to ruin things so early on, but it’s better to get things out of the way now, than wait until later when he’s stoned out of his head and falling down on my fire escape. When the boys arrive home, they’re in such a good mood — laughing and roughhousing — I almost don’t have the heart to bring up my find. I’m fingering the baggie nervously in my pocket when Nick comes up and puts his arm around me as Jake is putting groceries away; “Well…?” leaning down to whisper in my ear. “Found it,” I murmur. “Let’s talk to him,” he says. “Now?” I say. “Might better…” he replies, squeezing my hip. “C’mon, Love. Suck it up. You know it’s got to be done.” I nod and take a deep breath, then go over to the fire escape, and sit on the window sill, lighting a smoke. Jake turns around, finished unloading everything, and notices the new tension in the air. Nick has maneuvered himself near the door, in case my brother decides to bolt. “C’mere, Baby, have a smoke with me and let’s talk.” Jake’s eyes dart around the room, suddenly paranoid. “What’s going on? What did I do?” He says, walking slowly towards me and taking the offered cigarette. I pat the windowsill next to me, and he slowly sits. Nick saunters over to us, arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the wall behind me. “Jake, you know that I love you more than anyone or anything in the whole world — and that I’d do anything for you. And that I want you here with me. You know this, right.” Jake looks down at his hands, slowly releasing a stream of smoke from his nostrils. “Yeah, Sis. I know. You’ve always been the only one I could ever count on.” I nod. “But you know you can’t…you just can’t be using while you stay here.” I bring out the baggie from my pocket and hold it out. Jake’s face flushes red, and he leaps to his feet. “You went through my stuff?” He demands angrily, fists clenching, staring down at me. I stay seated, looking up at him calmly. Nick takes a step forward. “Hey, hold on there, Kid. It’s your ***’s place, and she has every right. And I think we’ve all been through this before, innit? What’d you expect? For her to let you OD again?” Jake immediately deflates, and sits back down, his head going to his hands. “I’m sorry…I know. Sis, it was just my stash from before. I wasn’t going to…“ “Save it.” I say, sharply. “It gets flushed. Now.” I stand up and go to the bathroom, and dump his stash in the toilet, flush it, and watch it swirl down the drain. If only getting rid of his habit were so easily done. When I go back to the main room, Nick and Jake are both out on the fire escape, smoking. I climb out to join them. Jake is looking miserably down at passing traffic, and Nick is leaning on the railing facing my windows, his face inscrutable. I light a cigarette and move to stand between them. “Honey,” I say to Jake, “You know you can stay here as long as you want or need. You know that. But you need to stay clean. I can’t go through another OD. You’re the only real family I’ve got, and I won’t lose you. I’ll send your ass to rehab as many times as you need — again — and you’ll hate me for it, but we aren’t doing all that again. OK?” Jake nods, looking down still, a tear forming in the corner of his eye. I reach out to touch his shoulder, and he turns to enfold me in a fierce hug. “I love you, Sis.” “I love you, too, Kiddo.” Nick smokes quietly behind me, not saying a word. ————— Jake is inside taking one of his interminable showers. The instant he hears the water running, Nick has me backed up against the brick wall of the fire escape; Out of sight from the windows, one hand over my mouth, the other holding my ass firmly against his hips as he lifts my legs to circle his waist, he thrusts himself into me — my short black nightdress bunched around my waist, his sweats shoved down around his hips — and starts fucking me. It’s so sudden that all thought, all my madly cycling worry instantly flies from my head as his cock pushes so unexpectedly deep inside me — the pleasure so intense and inescapable. My legs wrap tightly around him, trying to draw him in yet deeper, my back arches and I make a whimpering noise beneath his hand. Nick still hasn’t spoken a word. Across from my flat is another apartment building, and below us is a busy street. Anyone could see us, who bothered to look, but I’m too caught up in the moment, and my immediate need, to care. And Nick knows this — just as he knew this was exactly what I needed after finding Jake’s drug stash, and the ensuing tough-love conversation. Just as he knew the conversation needed to happen then and there. If there’s one thing Nick understands, it’s how to take a situation immediately in hand. I rake my nails down his back as he fucks me harder, his hips settling under me more firmly as he builds the rhythm. I’m lost utterly in the sensation of his cock moving in and out of me, my clit grinding against him. I’m so filled up with him that there is no room for anything else — no thought, no emotion, nothing but sensation — and this immediate moment. We both come hard and fast, and he keeps going so that I come again, immediately after my first orgasm. If it weren’t for his hand on my mouth, I would have screamed down the whole neighborhood. Finally, he slowly sets me down, my legs wobbly as his come drips down my thighs. “Let me get you some paper towels, Bunny,” he says, kissing the top of my head. I nod and grab a cigarette, lighting it and tilting my head back. I exhale slowly into the late morning sky, my thoughts clear and sharp once again. 5 Likes 3 Replies· over 6 years ago