The problem with public displays of affection (PDA) is that we all have different opinions on what’s appropriate. When does a PDA kink become too much, asks writer Sienna Saint-Cyr.


Some might say holding your partner’s waist is too much. For others, it might be a gentle peck on the cheek or a more drastic style of sucking face. One of the issues is that we all have our own frequently very differing views on what constitutes a PDA.

Hidden PDA kink

You might be thinking, “How is it PDA if you’re hiding?” But that answer is simple. If you’re in public, it’s a public display of affection. What I mean by hidden is that we don’t need to stand right in front of a couple and suck face. We can stand to the side of a walkway or find an alley, or any number of things to stay out of direct sight. People might still see, but they won’t be staring right at us. Not only does this show respect to those around us, but it makes me feel scandalous and naughty. Always two great things to feel about PDA kink!

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What you don't want others to see

I love being cornered or backed into a wall. It makes my heart race, and I much prefer it to kissing. But that’s a level of behavioural and relationship display that isn’t the standard and might be uncomfortable for others to see. But doing this behind a wall where I can hear others talking and moving about, knowing they can’t see what’s happening, oh so hot!


PDA kink: Couple kissing against a wall
What kind of PDA kink do you like? Image: Garry Knight via CC BY 2.0 license.


The role of a lookout in PDA kink

Another thing we can do, and I’m a huge fan of this one, is to be a lookout during PDA kink. I have a partner that does this. He waits until no one is looking and then acts. That way he’s not making anyone feel awkward or bad about what they witnessed. This means I might get my butt pinched or maybe even a nipple. Which certainly keeps me a happy girl.

In some cases, I do the opposite and deliberately do something in public. When my husband and I lived in a more racist part of the country, we would get the worst looks and whispers just because we held hands, because we were mixing race. Rather than stop showing affection in public, anytime this happened, we’d stop right there and make out! So hiding isn’t always the right answer either. Sometimes putting on a show is a public service with the most gratifying results.

PDA kink doesn't always equal fireworks

A PDA kink can be amazingly hot or horribly embarrassing for all involved. There may be times where a little canoodling behind a barrier is called for, or maybe a very public and deeply passionate kiss for all to see. Where you are and what you’re doing might mean the difference between someone calling the cops or drooling as they watch the sexy scene unfold!

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating.

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What are your experiences with PDA kink? What do you think is ok to do in public? Share your thoughts in the forum.

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Cover image: Justin Kerr Sheckler via CC BY 2.0 license


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