Earning her submission

[2m****]

A lot of fake subs want you to “earn submission” on here well that’s not how it’s works in the real world or on this app. When a sub sees you she knows she she want to submit to you, therefor if a female is telling you to earn her submissiveness aka bow down to her wants and need from the jump and you do it , yeah your no dom and shes just not that into you 🤷‍♂️ just my opinion

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What do you think?

[jo****]

Submission is the reward for respect 🫡

[no****]

I COMPLETELY disagree. It’s also not fair to f@rce a gendered dynamic for men being doms and women being submissive. You EARNED submission. No one is just gonna fu*king hand it over to you. You have to be a decent human being. You have to show that you’re a safe person. Calling subs fake for saying that you need to earn their trust is the BIGGEST red flag a dom could fucking say.

[PresentisPeculiar]

If it happens like that on this app it in the real world, the that is how it works here or in the real world...at least by those  who do it that way. Who are you to tell them different? Because you declared yourself as dominant? I'd say a person who can't earn that submission isn't really all that dominant. You don't become a Dom and have people submit by declaring yourself one and having them fall at your feet

[no****]

I mean just say you’re a predator

[Deleted Member]

This is some BULLLLLLLSHIT bro.

[kn****]

A lot of fake everything.. fake subs.. fake brats .. a lot of women who think being a b*tch is acceptable to someone they first meet cause they say “I’m just a brat” lmfao 🤣.. this lifestyle ain’t what it used to be for sure

[Te****]

"doms" like that go straight to the garbage can with me.

I have a hunch that when you say, "bow down to her wants and needs" that it was probably a starting discussion on her rules/limits/boundaries that didn't fit the image of the dynamic in your head.

[Al****]

Submission is trust and that definitely has to be earned. Need to revise your views I think.

[Deleted Member]

The irony in your statement. It sounds like you arent a dom then or they just aren't into you, not that they are "fake subs".

[Deleted Member]

Yeah absolutely not, respected is earned not freely given. If you are incapable of proving you are Dom then just admit you are not a Dom. Safe Sane and Consensual means you have to earn their submission, this is about trust if they cannot trust their Dom then you are not a Dom! So yes a million percent submission is earned not freely given.

Look at it this way you have to earn respect and everything in the real world! You are never given anything there is always a give and take which means you EARN IT!

So what the submissive is saying you have to EARN their trust and their respect. You are not automatically going to be bowed down to just because you want it!

[Ve****]

It’s just my opinion that you grew up without a father to teach you how to respect people and your male role models have been self-entitled boys who think they are God’s gift to women — that women should just submit because you believe it is pre-eminent.

The sub is in fact the one in control in a consensual BDSM relationship. The sub ALLOWS you to dominate them. They won’t do that unless they RESPECT you as a dom. A dom needs to earn a sub’s respect. Self-entitled narcissistic sociopaths and those with APD and/or NPD don’t respect the sovereignty of other human beings.

Your frustrated disposition towards subs not immediately submitting to you is more indicative of you not being a dom. You translated it (“aka bow down to her wants and needs”). That’s how it makes you feel because of your ego but that isn’t what “earning her submissiveness” means.

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, eleeto said:

It’s just my opinion that you grew up without a father to teach you how to respect people and your male role models have been self-entitled boys who think they are God’s gift to women — that women should just submit because you believe it is pre-eminent.

The sub is in fact the one in control in a consensual BDSM relationship. The sub ALLOWS you to dominate them. They won’t do that unless they RESPECT you as a dom. A dom needs to earn a sub’s respect. Self-entitled narcissistic sociopaths and those with APD and/or NPD don’t respect the sovereignty of other human beings.

Your frustrated disposition towards subs not immediately submitting to you is more indicative of you not being a dom. You translated it (“aka bow down to her wants and needs”). That’s how it makes you feel because of your ego but that isn’t what “earning her submissiveness” means.

100%

[fi****]

You're not a dominant. You're a guy that thinks you know what kink is. That's the problem with a lot of fake Doms. I can guarantee you do not attend proper BDSM scenes or events because of this shit post. Absolute no clue about the real world but love the walking red flag post 😂😂

[Ba****]

Dude there is a difference between someone horny using you to get themselves off and building enough trust to earn actual submission

Also i’m a rigger, you wanna know how much time i spend bowing down or on my knees??
Short answer; it’s irrelevant, i’m the one that can still move when i’m done
(sometimes i wish i had a literal pedestal to put them on to avoid back ***)

Ps go try out a domme to fix your “therefore if a female”-attitude, in this kind of community it’s a disability

[Deleted Member]

Bro just deletes comments don't waste your time. He is just rage baiting

[Ka****]

Hahaha.

The audacity of the person behind this post it’s as huge as the ignorance in the words he is using.

[al****]

It's not earning submissions it's earning trust. There is a difference regardless of how they say it the underlying truth of what they are stating is there. and you need to understand what they are really saying before you can earn it.

[Sw****]

Ummm no.
As a sub, I want to know that the person I’m submitting to is worthy of it. Also If he’s trustworthy. I don’t just submit to anyone, in fact my brat wouldn’t imagine submitting to just anyone.
You have literally got my throat in your hands.
Like dude, seriously, your mama never tell you to think before you speak?! 🙄🥱

[th****]

Depends on the kind of dom, depends on the kind of sub. I’m an alpha sub, so no, I’m not going to just yield because a self-professed dom demands it.

Given the vulnerability and potential risks inherent in subbing, there’s a vital need for trust and to understand and establish rules before play. Also, increasingly as kink has gone mainstream, there are plenty of “dom”s who mistake the art form for misogyny/***.

[ho****]

? Earn her submission means make her comfortable with you. Give her a safe space. Treat her like a person. See her for who she is. Know her kinks and bond with her. Etc etc You’re a fake dominant. You think women, not females, are out here going to give you pussy simply because in bed you have a role as a dom? You know what you sound like: “Every woman should cater to me and like me because I’m so alpha”. You sound like an egotistical child.

You can do a lot things to a woman to make her hurt, feel unsafe, and freak out in bed simply because she’s not comfortable with you. Shocking, not a lot of ppl are okay with CNC or anal with someone they don’t trust.

You must be new but “earn her submission” is not a new concept. It’s a thing for like decades at this point. Just letting you know, being in the BDSM community means you’re going to find sex harder, not easier. Things are based on trust.

[la****]

Earning submission equates to creating safety and a sense of trust. It sounds like you don't want to do the hard work of being a dominant energy. Ask yourself, 'why do I feel entitled to direct and instant submission?' Sounds like you want control and power without the necessary ingredients to ensure both parties are taken care of. This is a grossly negligent 'opinion' and in the real world, ain't nobody kneeling down for someone who cannot create the vul nerable container needed for true submission. Reassess yourself dude, this post is so embarrassing. A true dom understands the emotional nature under these dynamics, and knows the value of creating a foundation beforehand

[sp****]

Submission isn't just something that is owed to a Dom or Domme. It takes trust. As a Dom you should want to know your subs desires and needs and fulfill them in line with yours. If you don't view it in that manner, then I believe you are the fake.

[PL****]

To the OP...have you considered doing real research on what a true D/s relationship is about? Or have you read any of the forum posts on here and their replies? You attitude toward what a submissive should require to gain trust, is simply she should be submissive because she is told to be. Your also saying that, she does have to get to know you, she should just feel safe and trust you because you say so. Here is the real question, do you actually get in meaningful relationships that last? Have you ever been told that demanding submissiveness and treating a woman like she is yours without consent is actually not healthy and is even considered @busive. Read what you actually wrote. You expect a woman to fall to her knees because she should just want to without you putting any work in. That's not a relationship, its simply using her.

[Ar****]

Oh dear. No. Very no.

 

There's a HUGE difference between requiring a Dom to earn submission (which is no different to how a sub should have to earn your Dominance - or at least would if so many men weren't so overeager and unfussy about getting their dicks wet) and topping from the bottom, which is what you have described.

 

3 hours ago, 2muchpull said:

What do you think?

I think the notion that submissives simply take a look at you and want to submit deserves ridicule. 

 

I think this post reads as though it were written by somebody with an attitude of "do as I say immediately or else you aren't a real sub".

 

I think that most people who have experience and education in the lifestyle (as well as many others who just have good common sense) know to be extremely cautious of anybody who would submit - or Dominate - without vetting and getting to know each other first.

 

And above all I think it's extremely telling that your post only talks about subs in the context of women...