I don't submit because I need therapy/guidance, D/s is not therapy

[CopperKnob]

13 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

Where in his post did he say d/s equals therapy. Could you quote please as I cannot see it. Also don't need you to womansplain the difference between therapy and the***utic or lecture me on anything else.

I don't believe I did 🤷‍♀️ it was a generalised response to their post. The reality of it is, if they truly believed what they wrote they would have responded here with some form of tangible evidence.
Therapy also isn't specific to women, it can't therefore be considered 'womansplaining'

[Deleted Member]

33 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I don't believe I did 🤷‍♀️ it was a generalised response to their post. The reality of it is, if they truly believed what they wrote they would have responded here with some form of tangible evidence.
Therapy also isn't specific to women, it can't therefore be considered 'womansplaining'

I refer you to your opening post "
In response to @Riccar56's 'Alphasub' post and those who validated that line of thinking - that D/s equates therapy".

And others have referred to him saying this too but he does not say this. I think disagreeing with his post and writing an entire post lambasting it are two quite different things. And you've written it and now have others up in arms about it - who would blame him not to want to come back? I am not defending his post but I vehemently disagree with the way you've called him out.

[RosesHaveThorns75]

3 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

I hadn't realised I had, perhaps its more, my no fucks given attutude but, If anyones view is that D/s is an appropriate form of therapy and not at all dangerous then yeah, they can wear the title 'shit on my shoe' with pride.
What makes me the person who raises their voice above the pa***t in relation to this subject specifically is the fact that I, like you, have worked in mental health services and have seen first hand the damage that both trauma and improper use of therapy does to people. It takes years to resolve and in some cases never does

But conversely the vunrible adults who try to approach the NHS to access any form of analysis/diagnosis/support get eXposed to a system full of *** bias and class-issues and sometimes prejudices and control also it's not about empowering peeps to live their best lives when it's like being in Oliver twist "you want more"!!! 💀🙊💀 It takes some real guts and determination to get anything useful out of the system and the more serious/long term the issues are that you present with the harder it gets and the more likely you are to be fobbed off patronised pushed around or just told  outright lies!!! Which Dosnt help anyone to deal with anything!! It's a minefield and having *** to pay private Dosnt change things automatically either to try to get therapy as it's full of cold clinical superior peeps who don't like the fact that "ghetto gals" even eXist in society let alone try to aim for any quality of life!!! The NHS is a minefield to work through as is private therapy and I feel more safer and more stable having my own daily/weekly routines of stuff that helps me to deal if I ever take part in S&M activitys it'll have to add to rather than detract from my wellness plan or it'll be pointless.....💀🎃💀 If fetish interests is part of self-identity then how it impacts on everything is both holistic hopefully and very important but only each person knows why and what parts matter to themselves or not!!! 

[Deleted Member]

35 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I don't believe I did 🤷‍♀️ it was a generalised response to their post. The reality of it is, if they truly believed what they wrote they would have responded here with some form of tangible evidence.
Therapy also isn't specific to women, it can't therefore be considered 'womansplaining'

You explained the difference between two words to me. I think I grasped that all on my own thank you. I am precise with language and I said the***utic because that's what I meant. And as it turns out the guy never said d/s = therapy unless there's a quote you can point to?

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, Rock21RosesAndRopes said:

But conversely the vunrible adults who try to approach the NHS to access any form of analysis/diagnosis/support get eXposed to a system full of *** bias and class-issues and sometimes prejudices and control also it's not about empowering peeps to live their best lives when it's like being in Oliver twist "you want more"!!! 💀🙊💀 It takes some real guts and determination to get anything useful out of the system and the more serious/long term the issues are that you present with the harder it gets and the more likely you are to be fobbed off patronised pushed around or just told  outright lies!!! Which Dosnt help anyone to deal with anything!! It's a minefield and having *** to pay private Dosnt change things automatically either to try to get therapy as it's full of cold clinical superior peeps who don't like the fact that "ghetto gals" even eXist in society let alone try to aim for any quality of life!!! The NHS is a minefield to work through as is private therapy and I feel more safer and more stable having my own daily/weekly routines of stuff that helps me to deal if I ever take part in S&M activitys it'll have to add to rather than detract from my wellness plan or it'll be pointless.....💀🎃💀 If fetish interests is part of self-identity then how it impacts on everything is both holistic hopefully and very important but only each person knows why and what parts matter to themselves or not!!! 

I'm sorry to hear that. I've had some great experiences with NHS therapies but perhaps this as with many things is based on where you live sadly.

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Therapuetic is NOT the same as Therapy
D/s is NOT CBT, DBT, EMDR etc etc
It takes between 3-6yrs to train as a therapist i very much doubt there are many Doms here who've undergone any such training.
It is weighty because its a weighty subject, to suggest that those without any training can offer D/s as a therapy is extremely dangerous

But..he didn't suggest that and nor am I

[Ae****]

3 hours ago, FreeUrMind said:

Two things stand out. First, you agree with Copper. This is relevant. Second. You object that Copper, quite rightly, voluntarily assumes the responsibility of disclosing to members the inaccuracy of this article, and pointing it out to other members for security reasons. The site states that they are not responsible for the correctness of the article posted by members in the forum, and that the author of the article is responsible for this. In BDSM it is customary for each individual member to take responsibility for overall safety. Copper has taken its responsibility with this OP, warning other members about the incorrect information in an article. A concerned member of the community would support her in this, especially if he indicates that he agrees. What Copper has done is mentoring, a sacred good that contributes to safety.

I can't speak for MzJax, but I think her objection was actually to the tone of the OP - which hey, I get that. The points made in the OP can all be made politely. To me, it doesn't invite a conversation. It says, don't disagree - if you do, you're insane and I'll tell you exactly that in a horrible way. Conversation killed 😔

[Deleted Member]

I think that was what Jax was trying to say (she's offline atm)

[CopperKnob]

For those that took offence to my post you may want to read it again
It wasn't to open up a conversation. It was in response to a post which was essentially written by dom telling subs why and how they submit. I don't need others to tell me why I submit and I suspect most of us don't.
A lot of you picked up on the therapy aspect. To be clear, I not once did I say the original post equated D/s to therapy and nor was the post solely around that aspect of the original post. Thats the direction in which the comments travelled and I responded to.
There is no point in continually responding to uninformative points or those that provide misinformation. The more comments on a post, the more airtime it receives, pushing it to the top of the forum, making it more visible to those reading through them. Hence the new post which for those commenting on tone, all of my posts have a similar tone to them, it ls simply my writing style and the sharing of my experience and opinion which we're all entitled to have just as we are all welcome to create our own post.

[CopperKnob]

"Nor would any therapist with healthy boundaries attempt to practice it as such. In a BDSM relationship or play"

Imagine trotting off to therapy only to arrive and be guided into a BDSM dungeon 😂

[Leisa]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

"Nor would any therapist with healthy boundaries attempt to practice it as such. In a BDSM relationship or play"

Imagine trotting off to therapy only to arrive and be guided into a BDSM dungeon 😂

😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣yes please.

[CopperKnob]

3 minutes ago, Leisa said:

😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣yes please.

Starts writing a business plan 😂😂

[Leisa]

Just now, CopperKnob said:

Starts writing a business plan 😂😂

Already working on it. You want in?

[CopperKnob]

13 minutes ago, Leisa said:

Already working on it. You want in?

Definitely, yes please!!

[Deleted Member]

Saturday at 01:05 PM, FreeUrMind said:

Look at it on the bright side. She points out potential risks and dangers to the novice. She takes on the mentor role, as it were, voluntarily. I, and many with me, will applaud this. Safety first...

Plenty on here do mentor others. Writing posts on the forum is not mentoring.

[Deleted Member]

Yesterday at 07:01 AM, CopperKnob said:

For those that took offence to my post you may want to read it again
It wasn't to open up a conversation. It was in response to a post which was essentially written by dom telling subs why and how they submit. I don't need others to tell me why I submit and I suspect most of us don't.
A lot of you picked up on the therapy aspect. To be clear, I not once did I say the original post equated D/s to therapy and nor was the post solely around that aspect of the original post. Thats the direction in which the comments travelled and I responded to.
There is no point in continually responding to uninformative points or those that provide misinformation. The more comments on a post, the more airtime it receives, pushing it to the top of the forum, making it more visible to those reading through them. Hence the new post which for those commenting on tone, all of my posts have a similar tone to them, it ls simply my writing style and the sharing of my experience and opinion which we're all entitled to have just as we are all welcome to create our own post.

I object not to the tone, but to the fact that you've written a post just to attack someone else who didn't say what you said he did about d/s = therapy. I've asked you to point out where he did say this but you've ignored my comments. You did say that the original post equated d/s to therapy "In response to @Riccar56's 'Alphasub' post and those who validated that line of thinking - that D/s equates to therapy". He did not at any point equate d/s to therapy nor did you comment to say you were upset with him presenting it that way. Instead you've written this post.

[CopperKnob]

10 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

I object not to the tone, but to the fact that you've written a post just to attack someone else who didn't say what you said he did about d/s = therapy. I've asked you to point out where he did say this but you've ignored my comments. You did say that the original post equated d/s to therapy "In response to @Riccar56's 'Alphasub' post and those who validated that line of thinking - that D/s equates to therapy". He did not at any point equate d/s to therapy nor did you comment to say you were upset with him presenting it that way. Instead you've written this post.

I know what i wrote, if we're happy for non subs to tell subs why and how they submit so be it. You and i will not agree on this one amd theres no real point in furthering this aspect of the conversation

[Leisa]

45 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

I object not to the tone, but to the fact that you've written a post just to attack someone else who didn't say what you said he did about d/s = therapy. I've asked you to point out where he did say this but you've ignored my comments. You did say that the original post equated d/s to therapy "In response to @Riccar56's 'Alphasub' post and those who validated that line of thinking - that D/s equates to therapy". He did not at any point equate d/s to therapy nor did you comment to say you were upset with him presenting it that way. Instead you've written this post.

Your arguing with the OP is not helpful to anyone except maybe yourself. I do believe that she was speaking to the overall gist of the post. If you disagree go onto the initial post and your points may be more valid as on the post more than just this OP got the same impression. Seems you too don’t want any response to your points unless they agree with you. Have a blessed day.

[Si****]

Christ, this derailed quickly from last time I checked! I enjoyed reading your post and I enjoy reading your writing

[CopperKnob]

9 minutes ago, JustM said:

Christ, this derailed quickly from last time I checked! I enjoyed reading your post and I enjoy reading your writing

Didn't it just 🙄

[TheBookCollector]

3 hours ago, Leisa said:

Your arguing with the OP is not helpful to anyone except maybe yourself. I do believe that she was speaking to the overall gist of the post. If you disagree go onto the initial post and your points may be more valid as on the post more than just this OP got the same impression. Seems you too don’t want any response to your points unless they agree with you. Have a blessed day.

Imnot even sure the original post that is being refered to here is still on the forums.

[Ae****]

4 hours ago, JustM said:

Christ, this derailed quickly from last time I checked! I enjoyed reading your post and I enjoy reading your writing

Excuse the essay but
Hi! I think it's helpful, me right here 👋😁
and I don't think any one person can speak on behalf of everybody 🤦
I can't see the original post - so descriptions of it can't be be verified. If someone has one interpretation (or many people), there's no way to know that that's correct for people who haven't seen that post themselves 🤷🏻‍♂️ And many people sharing the same opinion doesn't amount to making it correct, that's important to remember!!! 🙏 ...especially around here 😖
A totally personal thought I have is... when a poster posts something that ticks people off, or addresses people in a way that some decide to remark upon, maybe it's because the thing the OP said is actually not that great 🤔 Maybe it's actually kinda messed up. Unintentionally, of course 😉😁 And it's really hard to see that, because people who want to think of themselves as good, well, it's really hard to see that maybe your views are not that great, especially if you're really, really set in them, certain about them. It's hard to allow the possibility that, hey, maybe you are seeing the whole thing from a wrong angle,🙈🙉 Maybe... well... maybe you are pretty ***ful. Mean. And there's actually no excuse. It's not ok, for whatever reason you use to rationalise. It's not a personality trait to be like that - to 'tell it like it is'.
And then, well, maybe it's not that there are some unreasonable, moany, picky people around, who want to complain about everything - maybe it's actually the OP itself that deserves to be pushed back upon 🤷🏻‍♂️
Maybe that's why some OPs and threads are intended to be funny, and then, wow, weirdly it turns out some people don't find them that funny - this might be the reason why. And if it's happening a lot... Well maybe that's something to think about too, cuz that may be a sign too.
Who knows 😂 who really knows 🤔🤷🏻‍♂️😉

[Ae****]

5 hours ago, Leisa said:

Your arguing with the OP is not helpful to anyone except maybe yourself. I do believe that she was speaking to the overall gist of the post. If you disagree go onto the initial post and your points may be more valid as on the post more than just this OP got the same impression. Seems you too don’t want any response to your points unless they agree with you. Have a blessed day.

Intended quote was actually this one 👆

[Si****]

I wondered wtf was going on 🤣

 

I wasn't aware essays had emojis these days. I must be behind the times

Edited October 25, 2021 by JustM
Stupid thumb

[Leisa]

1 hour ago, Aeonova said:

Intended quote was actually this one 👆

Maybe you should check yourself and your essay lecture at the door. You don’t know me nor do you know to whom I was speaking nor what prospective. Unless you’re suddenly in my train of thought maybe not generalize yours and direct it towards myself. You want to make a post or a comment? Great! Have at it but make sure to keep your lecture to yourself. Last time I checked you weren’t my Dom and if, and that’s a big if, anyone is going to lecture me it will be them or a Mod and not some stranger on the internet. May I further suggest that you keep your comments on the OP and not on the members unless you have something constructive to add. Your little emojis can be stuck where the sun don’t shine. They’re immature and not a great communication style.