Kink, BDSM and hook ups

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I guess to be honest

- the site has greeters to welcome people to the site, this isn't something you should feel to do; it might also be seen as intrusive as if you're part of the site

- if someone visits your profile and neither spanks nor messages you then perhaps in whatever reason they visited your profile there was no interest in doing either

Sometimes I visit the profiles of people to see more about them and what they're about

Sometimes, perhaps I might be interested but then reading their profile there is perhaps clearly criteria I don't meet in what they're looking for (or, stuff that means they're not what I'm looking for) 

Ok.... 

1) Meeters and greeters never, ever warn you properly of the abusive rapists here. 

2) By implication they would not recommend that you try anything outside of this site, irrespective of how infinitely superior it happens to be. 

3) Subs don't chase,  much. It all arrives in their inbox. I get scammers and little else.

4) My hit rate may be low but the thanks and extreme gratitude for trying to help them stay afloat in a sea of sharks is why I stay. 

I'm perplexed that you would prefer new to site/scene people who state that they are clueless not be offered this information. 

My gripe is that having asked they swipe whatever way without bothering to read. Probably my age, location. Few bother to visit my profile before deletion. 

I'm looking for friends only, am not the person folks accuse me of being, demonizing others unfairly, wolf in sheeps clothing etc. I've been shielding indoors for two years. This has been something that has kept me going. Helping Subs. 

Peace and tranquility. 

[Deleted Member]

@VKD... You can think differently, but please try to listen, and maybe consider helpful people's ideas and opinions!

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Deleted profile said:

I'm perplexed that you would prefer new to site/scene people who state that they are clueless not be offered this information. 

My gripe is that having asked they swipe whatever way without bothering to read. Probably my age, location. Few bother to visit my profile before deletion. 

I think it is a shame you have deleted your profile rather than taking on board what myself and others have had to say.

I think it is admirable you were trying to help - but you also have to see why it could be construed as creepy and inappropriate - and off-putting to the people you are reaching out to. 

As I said above, I don't think you're doing this from a bad place - but - one of the things a lot of the actual ***rs do is try to segregate their victims from others - this can be the whole "everyone is fake accept me" or vilifying community or so on.

This is the vibe some people you message would get.   

While it probably seems fruitless replying to someone who has deleted, this is in case you do come back - or - of course, for the benefit of others.

[Mi****]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think it is a shame you have deleted your profile rather than taking on board what myself and others have had to say.

I think it is admirable you were trying to help - but you also have to see why it could be construed as creepy and inappropriate - and off-putting to the people you are reaching out to. 

As I said above, I don't think you're doing this from a bad place - but - one of the things a lot of the actual ***rs do is try to segregate their victims from others - this can be the whole "everyone is fake accept me" or vilifying community or so on.

This is the vibe some people you message would get.   

While it probably seems fruitless replying to someone who has deleted, this is in case you do come back - or - of course, for the benefit of others.

Agreed

[Ri****]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think it is a shame you have deleted your profile rather than taking on board what myself and others have had to say.

I think it is admirable you were trying to help - but you also have to see why it could be construed as creepy and inappropriate - and off-putting to the people you are reaching out to. 

As I said above, I don't think you're doing this from a bad place - but - one of the things a lot of the actual ***rs do is try to segregate their victims from others - this can be the whole "everyone is fake accept me" or vilifying community or so on.

This is the vibe some people you message would get.   

While it probably seems fruitless replying to someone who has deleted, this is in case you do come back - or - of course, for the benefit of others.

Same here

[AKA_Copper]

9 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think it is a shame you have deleted your profile rather than taking on board what myself and others have had to say.

I think it is admirable you were trying to help - but you also have to see why it could be construed as creepy and inappropriate - and off-putting to the people you are reaching out to. 

As I said above, I don't think you're doing this from a bad place - but - one of the things a lot of the actual ***rs do is try to segregate their victims from others - this can be the whole "everyone is fake accept me" or vilifying community or so on.

This is the vibe some people you message would get.   

While it probably seems fruitless replying to someone who has deleted, this is in case you do come back - or - of course, for the benefit of others.

I don't think he has? He's still showing in my inbox as a member rather than 'deleted profile' may have been given a 'timeout' for all the links?

[So****]

I wonder to what extent new dominants just don't understand, but are afraid to ask questions because they don't want to look "less dominant." My experience is that subs are very forgiving of "hey, I am new to (insert kink type here), can you guide me a bit." And will totally still respect that dom (often more than the dom who tries to oretend they know everything). But maybe some new doms just don't get that?
Not trying to make excuses for them. Just thinking "if we understand the problem, that is the first step to a solution."
There are some good classes at subspace and cspc and such...

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Softties said:

I wonder to what extent new dominants just don't understand, but are afraid to ask questions because they don't want to look "less dominant." My experience is that subs are very forgiving of "hey, I am new to (insert kink type here), can you guide me a bit." And will totally still respect that dom (often more than the dom who tries to oretend they know everything). But maybe some new doms just don't get that?
Not trying to make excuses for them. Just thinking "if we understand the problem, that is the first step to a solution."
There are some good classes at subspace and cspc and such...

Oh yes... I so agree...
.
"Ghandi's law", lead by example or lead from behind...
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If you wish your submissive to learn, show them you too are not only still prepared to consider still learning, but are also not above learning or not above having a sufficiently willing nature to entertain such education yourself...
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The first rule of humility should apply as a primary rule, being humble costs nothing but the reward gained in knowledge for that humility can be immense... 💜
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I'm inclined to wonder if it's the act of bravado that has indeed mired the scene in some small way over the years, the traditional stereotype of the dominant is kind of akin to the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful eye, when really, they are just simply on their journey, like the rest of us...
.
Good point. 👌

[Deleted Member]

The world of BDSM is so vast, and there are so many combinations of Dominant and submissive dynamics I don’t think anyone could truly claim to be very experienced. As with every other aspect of my life, I’m experienced in what I’ve experienced. Before trying anything new you should at least research it and talk it over together.

[fl****]

How like deep online communication 🪐🛍💰

[pa****]

I have only spoke with one that knew about the lifestyle and I can't find any information about meet ups in safe settings near me....help someone who knows.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, pagancntrygurl said:

I have only spoke with one that knew about the lifestyle and I can't find any information about meet ups in safe settings near me....help someone who knows.

Hello...
.
Well, while I can't help all that much with specifics, (been out the game too long?), I would offer you're probably still okay with giving FL a once over for anything munch or group meet related, (guessing you've already exhausted searching for groups/events on here?)...
.
As for safe, I'd check the volume of active members and their meet location, (back alley dives not advised, obviously?), 😅😳
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Also, if you still can, check the turnout for the last few meetups, nothing worse than 200 people saying they're going but only 8 running regulars when you get there...? 🙄
.
Sorry, I can't really help all that much, just didn't want to leave you on seen. 😕

[Deleted Member]

@pagancntrygurl... I read your profile. You mean the heart of Bible Belt?!😨 I just read a forum about a couple looking for meetings in the South. I tried to look for the forum for you, but not successful. From what I read...Good news, if you want to be around people who are high, then it is the perfect place. There is a well known club in Florida. I am afraid you are going to have to do ALOT research, and try to chat with ALOT of online people in your area.😞

[Deleted Member]

@pagancntrygurl... My apologies, I saw where you were from and not the distance, wrong one, lol. 😳😂🙄

[pa****]

Thanks everyone yeah Tennessee but it has been hard to find anything here ..taboo and whatever..but I appreciate it

[Deleted Member]

@pagancntrygurl... Not all is lost. You have more knowledge. I am not sure, but the forum mentioned NC. Another member mentioned the same club in Florida... it is one of the well known cities, but not Miami. Sorry, forgot the name. You can research in the internet. Florida is far, but if you have a good kink friend, then maybe a mini road trip. Go there to have an authentic experience.

[Deleted Member]

@pagancntrygurl... Lastly, don't ever be a afraid to ask! You can only do so much research, and reading. Asking helped me too! I would like to thank all the women and men that helped me gain more knowledge. Please remember I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart!!❤

[pa****]

Well it's refreshing ..thank you..for all your help really

[Ti****]

I hear you

[Du****]

These are losers trying to be winners online. They want the la dolce vita life of the winner the alpha - sex with models, but women arent stupid. They can spot fake winner - low quality genes and no interest. Natural selection.

[AKA_Copper]

Friday at 06:25 PM, pagancntrygurl said:

Well it's refreshing ..thank you..for all your help really

I find it a little odd but a member sent me a msg to pass to you re who to contact to find your community. Your filters are preventing me from messaging you

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

I find it a little odd but a member sent me a msg to pass to you re who to contact to find your community. Your filters are preventing me from messaging you

It's all in the name CK. Temp VKD. I too tried directly but was banned. Tried to reply here but it was deleted as it's verboten to mention a profile on another site. I hope that you get the message through so she can see how much is going on nearby. 

[pa****]

Yesterday at 05:08 AM, CopperKnob said:

I find it a little odd but a member sent me a msg to pass to you re who to contact to find your community. Your filters are preventing me from messaging you

I'm sorry I haven't been on and I'm not sure how to take off the filter..I'll keep working on it..do you know the members name?

[AKA_Copper]

7 minutes ago, pagancntrygurl said:

I'm sorry I haven't been on and I'm not sure how to take off the filter..I'll keep working on it..do you know the members name?

Its the VKD/TempVKD profile both of which have now been deleted. No idea why he needed me as a go between rather than letting you know himself
He's given me a contact in your area for someone who arranges events. I honestly couldnt tell you how factual/safe it is and, the fact that he's deleted a second acct in less than a week, i'd question the motives/reliability of said info.

[pa****]

Yeah because I don't know him..but I have had some issues with my kinky tiktoks idk if it's one of them maybe searched me out..but could you send me the details I'll call about it but idk I'll go to it..not alone. And again I'm sorry