Interview with a Dominatrix | Why Trust is a Must

The life of a Dominatrix intrigues many people, but what drives someone to choose this vocation? Does the Dominatrix fear for her safety? And how can she integrate this career with everyday life? Writer May More interviewed UK-based Pro Domme, Affinity Noir.
 

I'll admit to being a little in awe of women who are confident enough to choose the life of a Dominatrix. While I've read quite a bit about the type of individual who surrenders their mind and body to these powerful women, I decided to chat with Pro Domme (and personal friend) Affinity Noir over a glass of wine, to get a deeper insight into what she does. Here's what she had to say in our interview...

May More: What led you to begin working as a Dominatrix?
Affinity Noir: From an early age I was interested in the 'strange and unusual.' Goth fascinated me. I became curious to wear PVC and latex, which made me realise how much I loved dressing up. My make-up and clothing style was always bold – black and red eye make-up, corsets, high-heels, boots. Goths can be sexy and beautiful too!

I then began modelling for Gothic and fetish creative shoots before deciding to become a professional Dominatrix. The idea that I could dress up and use my knowledge of fetish and BDSM to create amazing sessions appealed a lot. Being a tall goth and having a modelling portfolio certainly helped me to get started. 

Mistress Argenta of Glasgow trained me in the art of BDSM. She is an incredible, experienced Dominatrix, and also a great friend. We are the 'Sadistic Sisterhood.'


Affinity Noir. Photo: Frankinsella

MM: What exactly is involved in practical terms?
AN: Sessions take place in one of various hygienic, discreet, fully-equipped dungeons. Each session is tailored to meet the specific interests and fetishes of the individual and clear communication with submissives regarding their fetishes helps me choose the most suitable location. Of course, having an in-depth knowledge of BDSM is paramount for a skilled Dominatrix. 

Popular scenarios may involve corporal punishment, ranging from light flogging to multiple whacks with the cane. A good Domina uses implements wisely, making sure to inflict pain and discipline in the right areas.

Not all sessions involve pain, however. Fetishes range from worship, financial domination (shopping trips at the sub's expense), cage and confinement, to anything in between. Sissification is very popular, including crossdressing, makeovers and perhaps humiliation. A submissive might wear a full maid uniform and become a 'sissy maid' for the afternoon. Everything from hairdo to stockings is an integral part of the makeover.

Mutual understanding and trust are vital for both parties. Then the sub can let go and enjoy what's happening.
 

MM: Do you need to separate work from your home life?
AN: I have no issues separating personal life and work. I pick and choose which aspects to mix and always keep work strictly professional.


Affinity Noir. Photo: Synster Latex Photograghy

MM: What does ‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’ mean in respect of yourself, the client and personal limits?
AN: I'm constantly mindful of these fundamental issues. I believe a sub should always go to a professional to be 'safe.' Putting trust in amateurs risks disappointment and potentially dangerous scenarios. For me, I deny any request that rings alarm bells.

'Sane' requires being completely aware. It's important to tell your Domina if something doesn't work for you, and stay absolutely clear of anything intoxicating in terms of alcohol or drugs. Always keep a clear, confident mind.
 

“Having an in-depth knowledge of BDSM is paramount for a skilled Dominatrix. Popular scenarios may involve corporal punishment, ranging from light flogging to multiple whacks with the cane.”

Consent is essential. You're allowed to say 'no' and developing mutual trust is a big deal, but you want to make sure that it's not exploited. The submissive is my priority, and I would never allow something to happen that was against their wishes. I'm not interested in bringing a sub's fetish into the public eye as I don't believe in subjecting other people to things to which they cannot consent. Every session should be a fun, rewarding experience.

Personal limits include never causing permanent bodily harm. I will not participate in age-related play and on my part, I don't offer any nudity or sexual services, which is stated clearly on my website and social media.

Lastly, I would reject a client for lack of manners: a little respect goes a long way! Also, having the same interests is important, so we both enjoy the session.
 

MM: What is the strangest request you have ever had?
AN: I don't really consider most requests to be strange in this line of work. Maybe one of the weirdest requests I received was being asked for permanent body modifications.

While a few of Affinity Noir's revelations surprised me, it's clear that safety and consent are the foundations from which any truly professional Domina operates. Affinity Noir made it crystal clear that communication, honesty and respect underpin every session she undertakes. Because above all, trust is a must.  
 

May More enjoys using her deviant imagination to create erotic tales. As well as fiction, her blog is inherently personal, with posts describing her own sexual ventures into bondage while expressing communication is key within a relationship. 



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Main photo: Synster Latex Photograghy