The life of a Dominatrix intrigues many people, but what drives someone to choose this vocation? Does the Dominatrix fear for her safety? And how can she integrate this career with everyday life? Writer May More interviewed UK-based Pro Domme, Affinity Noir.
 

I'll admit to being a little in awe of women who are confident enough to choose the life of a Dominatrix. While I've read quite a bit about the type of individual who surrenders their mind and body to these powerful women, I decided to chat with Pro Domme (and personal friend) Affinity Noir over a glass of wine, to get a deeper insight into what she does. Here's what she had to say in our interview...

 

May More: What led you to begin working as a Dominatrix?
Affinity Noir: From an early age I was interested in the 'strange and unusual.' Goth fascinated me. I became curious to wear PVC and latex, which made me realise how much I loved dressing up. My make-up and clothing style was always bold – black and red eye make-up, corsets, high-heels, boots. Goths can be sexy and beautiful too!

I then began modelling for Gothic and fetish creative shoots before deciding to become a professional Dominatrix. The idea that I could dress up and use my knowledge of fetish and BDSM to create amazing sessions appealed a lot. Being a tall goth and having a modelling portfolio certainly helped me to get started. 

Mistress Argenta of Glasgow trained me in the art of BDSM. She is an incredible, experienced Dominatrix, and also a great friend. We are the 'Sadistic Sisterhood.'

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Affinity Noir. Photo: Frankinsella

 

MM: What exactly is involved in practical terms?
AN: Sessions take place in one of various hygienic, discreet, fully-equipped dungeons. Each session is tailored to meet the specific interests and fetishes of the individual and clear communication with submissives regarding their fetishes helps me choose the most suitable location. Of course, having an in-depth knowledge of BDSM is paramount for a skilled Dominatrix. 

Popular scenarios may involve corporal punishment, ranging from light flogging to multiple whacks with the cane. A good Domina uses implements wisely, making sure to inflict pain and discipline in the right areas.

Not all sessions involve pain, however. Fetishes range from worship, financial domination (shopping trips at the sub's expense), cage and confinement, to anything in between. Sissification is very popular, including crossdressing, makeovers and perhaps humiliation. A submissive might wear a full maid uniform and become a 'sissy maid' for the afternoon. Everything from hairdo to stockings is an integral part of the makeover.

Mutual understanding and trust are vital for both parties. Then the sub can let go and enjoy what's happening.
 

MM: Do you need to separate work from your home life?
AN: I have no issues separating personal life and work. I pick and choose which aspects to mix and always keep work strictly professional.

dominatrix-bdsm-interview.png
Affinity Noir. Photo: Synster Latex Photograghy

 

MM: What does ‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’ mean in respect of yourself, the client and personal limits?
AN: I'm constantly mindful of these fundamental issues. I believe a sub should always go to a professional to be 'safe.' Putting trust in amateurs risks disappointment and potentially dangerous scenarios. For me, I deny any request that rings alarm bells.

'Sane' requires being completely aware. It's important to tell your Domina if something doesn't work for you, and stay absolutely clear of anything intoxicating in terms of alcohol or drugs. Always keep a clear, confident mind.
 

“Having an in-depth knowledge of BDSM is paramount for a skilled Dominatrix. Popular scenarios may involve corporal punishment, ranging from light flogging to multiple whacks with the cane.”

Consent is essential. You're allowed to say 'no' and developing mutual trust is a big deal, but you want to make sure that it's not exploited. The submissive is my priority, and I would never allow something to happen that was against their wishes. I'm not interested in bringing a sub's fetish into the public eye as I don't believe in subjecting other people to things to which they cannot consent. Every session should be a fun, rewarding experience.

Personal limits include never causing permanent bodily harm. I will not participate in age-related play and on my part, I don't offer any nudity or sexual services, which is stated clearly on my website and social media.

Lastly, I would reject a client for lack of manners: a little respect goes a long way! Also, having the same interests is important, so we both enjoy the session.
 

MM: What is the strangest request you have ever had?
AN: I don't really consider most requests to be strange in this line of work. Maybe one of the weirdest requests I received was being asked for permanent body modifications.


:gimp: :gimp: :gimp: :gimp: :gimp: :gimp: :gimp: :gimp: :gimp: 


While a few of Affinity Noir's revelations surprised me, it's clear that safety and consent are the foundations from which any truly professional Domina operates. Affinity Noir made it crystal clear that communication, honesty and respect underpin every session she undertakes. Because above all, trust is a must.  
 

May More enjoys using her deviant imagination to create erotic tales. As well as fiction, her blog is inherently personal, with posts describing her own sexual ventures into bondage while expressing communication is key within a relationship. 

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Want even more? Check out the FemDomme Forum – a home for dominatrices, mistresses, male subs, submissive men and slaves.


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Main photo: Synster Latex Photograghy

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SissySlutLayla

Posted

just as submissive I am just as much dominant. Must be my 25 years of marriage I had.

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SissySlutLayla

Posted

well next week the cervical collar comes off. wait to have my appt for hormones

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SissySlutLayla

Posted

ty date for the bone spur now the 8th of January

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ab****

Posted

On 12/16/2023 at 11:32 AM, SissySlutLayla said:

I am going through some tough times I am having neck surgery to remove a bone spur out of my neck that left unchecked could paralyze me. so it is being done on the 5th of Jan 2024 and im scared

HEy SSL, I can identify with you 100% I was recently in your position. Awaiting results that could tell if I'd walk in the future. I Can tell you that the only way you can deal with it is not to worry until it's time to worry. But always anticipate not improvise. 

I've also come to realize that we as humans can adapt to just about anything. It just takes the mental capacity of acceptance and adjustment. Bring it in to a micro view when you feel yourself too laser focused on the future.

"What will make me happy right now, today, tonight?" then:

"What can I do to achieve that?"  and then if the effort it takes to do that outweighs the want:

"What can I achievably do right now to attain that goal?"

These aren't meant to be condescending instructions and I know everyone deals with things in their own way, but these are things I've found to enjoy life while in a limited capacity. 

And on e last trick that worked for m. Fake Confidence until it becomes real confidence. I Was cracking jokes with the nurses and doctors

Stay Strong,

Doc

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SissySlutLayla

Posted

I am going through some tough times I am having neck surgery to remove a bone spur out of my neck that left unchecked could paralyze me. so it is being done on the 5th of Jan 2024 and im scared

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SissySlutLayla

Posted

I am new here

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el****

Posted

Goth Dommes are so hot🥵🥵🥵😍🥰

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kg****

Posted

I like her face. So unique

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ja****

Posted

Hi

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Ma****

Posted

Very interesting. I am aspiring as a CD Domina, which is slightly different from my Dominant role. I feel that there is much to learn from you. So I would very much appreciate any tips or helpful suggestions that would have for me. So thanks for being here!

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ri****

Posted

She caught me and now.....

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ri****

Posted

I love to smell her perfume

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ri****

Posted

My mom caught me in her panties drawer.
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Go****

Posted

I’m a pro dom at platinum west please pm me 🖤

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JenniferNV

Posted

Affinity Noir, that's a great interview.   You're extremely experienced and expertly skilled, awesome.

 

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Tarzan-2296

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I would love to talk to a professional dominatrix

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pa****

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Manners goes along way. Trust is essential between the domina and the submission.

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pa****

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Manners goes along way. Trust is essential between the domina and the submissive.

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pa****

Posted

An = affinitv noirs

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pa****

Posted

Domina practices safety for the sub

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AlaceAmory

Posted

Yes!!!

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Phoenyx

Posted

Also, don't forget the importance of "The Safeword".  It can be more than just an 'emergency Stop" button.  Consider a scene, where the sub, as part of their role, wishes to beg and plead for mercy.  As agreed beforehand, I am to ignore such pleas, or even berate them, no matter how emotional those pleas may become.  This is where the safeword becomes so important.  Even if it is never used, its presence allows me to know that all of the whimpering and pleading is merely part of the act.  Often, it had been agreed, that a doleful plea was actually a cue to step-up the intensity.  Conversely, I would have that safeword burned into my brain, so that I would instantly freeze, upon hearing it.

As an interesting side-note, if a sub did not have a favorite Safeword of their own, or could not think of one, I would let them borrow mine, "Conundrum".

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