I 100% agree with this but from a subs standpoint. I have been searching for a Dom that is capable of providing structure, guidance, and partnership. I feel as though I’m constantly weeding out people who claim themselves to be a dom but what they really want is to have rough sex with a sub that Read more… lets them do whatever they want, but hold absolutely no dominant/ leadership qualities. There’s no buildup no talking no getting to know each other no push for growth. Its all just control freaks not actual doms that are pushing for your well being and growth. Granted I’m fairly new to this but I’ve always known what I’m into and what I want, it’s just hard to find a trustworthy dom I trust enough to let go. I’m so much more interested in the D/S dynamic outside the bedroom and I feel like so many people think it’s just a bedroom thing.