Pegging…. Again

[Deleted Member]

So - another one of these threads! I am after a bit of help and advice. I have read many of the excellent threads on anal play but I’m after some specific help after some recent play.
Myself and my Domme are both really keen on pegging and both of us are new to it. I have followed lots of the excellent advice on other threads about cleanliness and taking things slow but after todays play session I am a little frustrated. Putting it simply I have 2 problems… anything other than a small toy (I mean really small) and it just hurts and we of course stop.. this makes a strapon pretty much impossible and the second problem I have is that when I have anything in there, the sensation is that… well, I need to go which is really off putting and makes me very self conscious. Should we be just trying smaller toys or a beginners pegging set? She is very into the strapless variety and whilst it is not particularly big, I just see no hope of it going I’m on without it just hurting and I am a bit dejected after a couple of failed attempts. Also… for those more experienced with anal… does that feeling of needing to go ever subside? Any tips or help for either of us greatly appreciated

[ey****]

when you say "need to go" I presume you mean "wee" ?  It is possible that is a sensation because the prostate is by the bladder and it might push down on it.  Honestly, if you feel you need to go - ahem - go... you'll feel better for it

But, the hurting is the problem

Are you using enough lube?

If you don't think this is the problem - then - anal train outside of pegging.  the beginners kits are simple and to the point - try masturbating with a small dildo or butt plug - try also to leave in butt plugs for extended time.  It helps both get you used to the sensation and stretch you. 

[ma****]

I’m not that experienced but when I get pegged, the sensation of having to go becomes lesser when hou give in to the pleasure

[sw****]

So idk if it’s different for males than females but whenever I do anal, it always hurts for the first several minutes. And it always makes me feel like I need to take a shit but I never do until it’s all done

[St****]

24 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

when you say "need to go" I presume you mean "wee" ?  It is possible that is a sensation because the prostate is by the bladder and it might push down on it.  Honestly, if you feel you need to go - ahem - go... you'll feel better for it

But, the hurting is the problem

Are you using enough lube?

If you don't think this is the problem - then - anal train outside of pegging.  the beginners kits are simple and to the point - try masturbating with a small dildo or butt plug - try also to leave in butt plugs for extended time.  It helps both get you used to the sensation and stretch you. 

Exactly. I will add that if you need to go #2. I would suggest trying to put a plug in a couple of hours before your session. Then you can remove the plug and go. Your system should be clear for several hours after that.
I found the training with the plugs to help a lot with the ***. Also lots of lube! Lube is your friend!

[lo****]

Hi eyemblacksheep , everything thing you have said is so correct, apart from one thing, I think what veryigosub means when he says he needs to go is not ***, but number 2s , this happened to me the first time I was pegged, the way around this is to make sure you use the toilet before any contact with your arse is touched, also, and I don’t know if you do, but I found that half an hour of rimming is just great for getting you hard, and also relaxing, keep it kink 😈

[wo****]

Just let it all go. Everyone’s adults and you can clean up after. Sex is messy 🤷🏼‍♂️ it is what it is

[wo****]

People poop during sex. Clean up and move on lol it’s not hard. Poo is poo 🤷🏼‍♂️

[ma****]

6 minutes ago, wolfxxx24 said:

People poop during sex. Clean up and move on lol it’s not hard. Poo is poo 🤷🏼‍♂️

That’s true but the smell 😂 always clean myself before getting pegged of getting fucked. If there’s no need for poo…..

[Deleted Member]

If you are worried about shitting go to the bathroom before and also take an enema about an hour before your session.

[ey****]

9 hours ago, london768658 said:

Hi eyemblacksheep , everything thing you have said is so correct, apart from one thing, I think what veryigosub means when he says he needs to go is not ***, but number 2s , this happened to me the first time I was pegged, the way around this is to make sure you use the toilet before any contact with your arse is touched, also, and I don’t know if you do, but I found that half an hour of rimming is just great for getting you hard, and also relaxing, keep it kink 😈

If I'm wrong and he does mean number 2, then...

I've not that had problem so it's a little bit more difficult to know what's going on.

God, I love rimming but it has been SO long.

[Deleted Member]

Ok so.. I know I don’t actually need to shit cos I’m clean having properly douched. It just feels like i need to and I’m guessing from some peoples reactions that this is not normal? With regards to having ***, I can say it’s like a very sharp *** that if pressure continues to be exerted something is going to tear type ***, not discomfort. Does not feel like something I should be trying to push through

[ey****]

I think it is worth starting small. Really small. With plenty of lube.

I think it is also going to be important, but necessary, to learn to relax.  That is actually quite difficult - because the more you worry about it, the more difficult it is to relax, and the more negative experiences you have the more you worry.

My actual first time being pegged was not the best, but - it was possible because of something from a week or two prior.  

I had been struggling with anal play, that no one was getting in more than a couple of fingers and felt I was too tight because I was struggling to relax.  I certainly would have benefited from training/practice in my own time.

But, in my case, I saw a Pro Domme who I also kinda knew (and we had many adventures after this) and explained the situation - and so basically, she didn't try to peg me or anything but put me over a bench in that kinda position and put a video on her laptop in front of me for me to focus on. The music was very ambient and chill and she did everything to relax me before sliding and playing with a toy that wasn't massive, but was bigger than a couple of fingers.   And that helped a lot.

But yep, being stressed and not able to relax is a big thing. 

 

[Leisa]

Not only does the sensation of having to use the bathroom go away but so does the *** of the object being inserted.

[Cu****]

As others have said, lube is your friend, as well as being very relaxed, taking your time, removing expectation to be able to immediately succeed and just play on your own with a small butt plug. Have a long hot shower or relaxing bath before you attempt anything, even trying to nudge your sphincter with knuckles on a fist, helps to get your body used to something that is being done in reverse. Being on your own, doing this, helps you to completely control what's happening and you are taking your time, and not frustrating yourself and your partner. That kind of external pressure of her being there, compounds your feeling of failure, and progress is zero.
Doing a little, and often, will probably help. Lube and lube some more to allow smoothness and comfortm

[Deleted Member]

I’m going to be new to anal. I am going to go to the loo first, do some anal douches and take tablets to stop any bowel movement.

[Deleted Member]

This is probably very obvious but as no one has explicitly mentioned it ... Lube goes *in you* as well as on the toy. Use a finger and work some around and then inside. Repeat a couple of times.

With the plug, wearing it for a while will help, but also putting it in and out say three to five times (add more lube if you need to ) then wear it a while, then in and out again. The stem of the plug isn't doing much to stretch things when it's just sitting in you. Also, have you considered an inflatable plug?

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for the advice. It makes sense that anal stretching is needed to make it easier for the event.

[ey****]

3 hours ago, switch6962 said:

I’m going to be new to anal. I am going to go to the loo first, do some anal douches and take tablets to stop any bowel movement.

don't take tablets for bowel movement.  

you'll end up fucking your self if you're taking medication you don't actually *need* 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for that! You probably saved me from complications.

[Pe****]

Veryigosub, what is the health of your anus? Do you have any piles, hemorrhoids or fissures? Does it hurt to poo normally? Are you regularly pooing every day?

[Deleted Member]

39 minutes ago, PerthS said:

Veryigosub, what is the health of your anus? Do you have any piles, hemorrhoids or fissures? Does it hurt to poo normally? Are you regularly pooing every day?

Hey - as far as I know, healthy. Very regular (which helped to plan for being clean etc) going to the toilet does not hurt at all and we used a whole lot of lube. We decided we are going to try something much smaller next week and see how that goes. She much prefers the strapless variety as being attached and feeling like it’s actually her cock, so we may looks for recommendations on harnesses that will give her a similar feeling but we can change the size of the dildo part.

[Pe****]

A healthy anus is just part one of the diagnosis. In absence of any fissures, piles or hemorrhoids (and certainly in absence of any *** in the stools), I suspect the source of your *** could be linked to the size, position and shape of your your coccyx (Ie tailbone). In people with medium to large coccyx you may have trouble accommodating large girth of dildo due to the coccyx. This is not something can be overcome with anal girth stretch training - it is a physiological limitation of your body. To make penetration easier for such people, limit the girth of dildo and approach anal penetration at an angle of 30-60degrees. Ie. Best done when you’re on your back with legs curled up in the air and your partner is entering you from above (much like in the position of vanilla sex).

[TxFrank]

Let's start with simple things. First, the lube. Is it a good gel type? KY is horrible.  My go to lube is AstroGlide gel. You might even want one of those lube syringes.  

Next, and this sounds gross and weird, but hear me out.  Look at the size of your stool the next time you defecate.  That's a pretty good indication of what you can take comfortably.  

Are you pushing, like when you have a bowel movement,  during insertion? You should be. 

Practice,  practice  and more practice.  Get accustomed to taking your small toys for extended periods.  When you switch to a bigger toy and it hurts, stop. Take it out, and relube. Breathe. Then slowly insert again. Muscle memory is vital with the anus. The more often you have something in your ass, the more likely you are to do it ***lessly. 

Finally, buy the best toys you can afford.  It's your ass! Modern real feel dildos come in a plethora of shapes and sizes.  And the difference between those and a $4 plastic dong you bought off Wish is significant.  

[xT****]

January 25, eyemblacksheep said:

when you say "need to go" I presume you mean "wee" ?  It is possible that is a sensation because the prostate is by the bladder and it might push down on it.  Honestly, if you feel you need to go - ahem - go... you'll feel better for it

But, the hurting is the problem

Are you using enough lube?

If you don't think this is the problem - then - anal train outside of pegging.  the beginners kits are simple and to the point - try masturbating with a small dildo or butt plug - try also to leave in butt plugs for extended time.  It helps both get you used to the sensation and stretch you. 

Totally agree on the latter. First do solo anal play, before trying this with a partner. That way youre more in control about what happens and learn about what feels good up there. That might helps to relax a bit more and to communicate what you like to your partner.