Molly's BDSM Tips | How to Prepare for Anal Play

April is anal month here at FET. This week, Molly helps out one FET member who is looking for how to prepare for anal play for the first time. So, from gently exploring the anus to douching, here are Molly's top anal preparation tips...

Dear Molly,
After many years of fantasising about anal sex and someone pegging me, I've finally found a partner to explore that with. Still, I'm wondering what practical things I should consider when preparing for anal sex in general. Do you have any advice for me?
A. Nal

Dear A. Nal,
I'm delighted you've found a partner with whom you can explore your desire for anal sex and pegging. Anal play can be a hugely pleasurable sexual activity, and while for many people, anal sex remains a bit of a taboo, for others, it's a fairly regular part of their sex lives. Indeed, anal play can also add an extra layer of intimacy. Some people require a deep amount of trust to indulge in anal sex with another person; therefore, it can be a wonderful bonding experience. Clearly, the key to a good partnered anal experience is finding the right partner. Still, you can also make other preparations to ensure that anal sex is a pleasurable and joyful experience for all.

How to prepare for anal

So, here are four ways to get prepared for any kind of anal fun you might want to have:

1. Explore gently, by yourself

One of the first things to think about is to consider experimenting with some anal play initially on your own, but then maybe with your partner, to help your body become more familiar with the sensation of having something in your butt. You mention that this has been a fantasy for you for a long time, so you may have already been indulging in some sort of solo anal play. But if not, now is definitely the time to introduce it. Consider buying yourself a butt plug; don't forget to get some good quality lube too. Lube is one of the keys to really pleasurable anal sex.

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There are many different butt plugs on the market depending on what you like and your budget, but even if you start with just a simple silicone butt plug, it'll help you explore the sensations. Of course, you can also use toys and anal fingering to explore during foreplay with a partner, which I would highly recommend as another way to prepare for anal sex.

2. Get your butt ready

Many people worry about the hygiene aspect of anal sex, but some simple steps can reduce (and even eliminate) those worries. At the very least, you want to have a good shower or a bath beforehand and basically give your bottom a good old wash with plenty of soap and water. For many people, that is the full extent of their hygiene preparation, but some like to do more by anal douching.

How to prepare for anal? Develop your douching skills!

3. Consider anal douching

If you're particularly anxious or worried about potential mess during anal sex, you will want to consider including anal douching in your anal preparations. You can an anal douching kit for relatively little ***. However, you may want to keep your douching to a minimum (maximum once or twice a week), as it can often have a negative impact on the healthy microflora of the bowel.

There are many guides and tutorials online, which I recommend you spend some time reading/watching, but basically, you fill the bulb of the anal douching kit with warm water, attach the nozzle and insert it into your bottom, then squeeze the water into your bum.

“If you're particularly anxious or worried about potential mess during anal sex, you will want to consider including anal douching in your anal preparations.”

Try putting a tiny dab of lube around the nozzle to make insertion more comfortable. Hold the water in and then relax and let it flow out. Sitting over the toilet is the easiest way. You want to repeat the process until the water runs clear. If the water never runs clear, that might indicate that perhaps it's not the optimal time to have butt sex.

4. Talk to your partner

It might seem obvious, but talking to your partner is probably an essential point on this list. Make sure you spend time talking through all the various aspects of your desires around this subject, and of course, your partner's too. Share your experiences up to this point, the things you like and don't like, or those things you imagined happening.

Understanding what is hot about something for an individual really helps both parties come together (excuse the pun) to create a thrilling and exciting experience for you both. That can't happen if you don't talk about it and plan together. More importantly, it can help you relax and really trust in the person you're sharing it with, which will most definitely lead to great anal sex.

Preparing for anal play: the bottom line

Exploring anal play for the first time can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. You are curious to discover new sensations but might be worried if it could hurt or get messy when your partner is playing with your bum. But if you follow my preparation tips, you should be readier than ever – both physically and mentally.

Good luck and enjoy it!
Molly x

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Photos shutterstock/GoldenEden