Misandry And Me

[CopperKnob]

2 minutes ago, Orlando8675309 said:

I'm sorry for your prior bad experiences with most men you have encountered. I personally have allowed women to rip my heart out and piss on it many times. Finally, I learned to set boundaries and that's when I realized that it wasn't women after all, it was me non saying the hard no and not allowing women or people in general to use me for anything. I totally understand that men are more prone to hurt women than women hurting men yet here I am the survivor of some real cruel women's actions.

Just because I didn't set proper boundaries doesn't excuse all the actions of the women that harmed me but I can say I could have prevented a lot of the harm if I would have set hard boundaries and stuck to it even if it meant losing the person I cared about. Today, my no is no and my yes is yes contingent on how far a person will take that yes and twist it into well yes means walk all over me.

Givers have to set limits because takers have none...

Don't wear a mask, be yourself!

Likewise in relation to your experiences and it's good to know that you've put some boundaries in place. I've done the same in terms of not allowing particular individuals in my space

[ge****]

31 minutes ago, masterful said:

How many women globally are saying the same thing?

Enough for it to be a problem

[Deleted Member]

Well trust is earned not given. I always laugh when a person I just met starts demanding things. I simply cut them off and remove them from my life immediately. Most are apologetic and realize they can't just treat me anyway they wish. It's my life and the quicker I realize that I have 100% right to say who and what I allow in my life, the better my life becomes.

Checking my motives before saying or doing something has really helped me the most. I used to crave the attention from my partner so much that I would say yes when I really should have said no. However, the question I had to ask myself was why do I crave this attention? Of course often the opposite of this question was why do I not want attention. The answer to these questions have helped me realize why I made so many bad choices when it came to who I let in my circle of trust.

The truth is that a balance must be found in that I need to give attention to the words my partner says but allow them their own me time. As Ive found that it's easy to go overboard with giving and therefore was considered a SIMP and later wondered why she walked all over me. On the other hand, I can say no to everything and be a person who is not sympathetic or a person who doesn't care etc. I believe we all playa role in how we program others how to treat us...

[ma****]

14 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Enough for it to be a problem

Which makes it anecdotal rather than scientific.

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, leanneandmartin said:

By making cis men follow a different set of rules because of her past experiences isn't herself treating others how she ways to be treated. I followed what she posted very closely, and loosely waving in and out by saying some men doesn't override the following comments that I gave you, it wasn't it a snippet it was a very clear complete sentence summing up to, because of my feelings cis men need to do more. And frankly it's boring, I know the point you are trying to make so ill put it all into generous numbers for everyone to follow, a generous estimation of how many makes she has had communicational contact with in her while entire life is 4000, that is 0.0001% of the male population, hardly a pressing issue or any reason for 'mistrust'. And that's not even 4000 men face to face all sexually attracted to you and trying to get some, some are family, friends, Co workers, nice platonic people so the number for mistrust is even lower but let's say its 25% creep, that's 1000 men out of 4 billion. She has no reason to be saying a single word on her post, she is not harrased, accosted, assaulted, pestered or anything by men. She's actually only met a few at most and remember we started off being generous. I hope this wakes specifically the women out there the hell up but also yourself friend.

See, when you make comment on my lived experienced and what that's involved, is the moment I stop engaging. This is what you describe as "personal accountability" and as I have said is me not accepting unhealthy behaviours in the spaces in which I live

[do****]

We still on the problem. Where are the solutions other than self accountability? 🤦🏾‍♂️. We developing a slogan, #, media campaign? March on Washington. It's like beating a dead horse right now. We writing letters to Congress, the president? I just want everyone to live drama free. Most importantly to live, really live, without judgement, disrespect, labels, worrying about stereotypes and generalizations, and not worry about what someone might say to them. We all supposed to be living right now and enjoying our ***s and pleasures. Yet, we are here, some at work like me discussing someone's else nonsense behaviors. Like someone said, giving them power and energy. Time to take that back and redirect it. I want my pleasures back

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, doubletrouble129 said:

We still on the problem. Where are the solutions other than self accountability? 🤦🏾‍♂️. We developing a slogan, #, media campaign? March on Washington. It's like beating a dead horse right now. We writing letters to Congress, the president? I just want everyone to live drama free. Most importantly to live, really live, without judgement, disrespect, labels, worrying about stereotypes and generalizations, and not worry about what someone might say to them. We all supposed to be living right now and enjoying our ***s and pleasures. Yet, we are here, some at work like me discussing someone's else nonsense behaviors. Like someone said, giving them power and energy. Time to take that back and redirect it. I want my pleasures back

I think we/most live with a lot of pleasure from a variety of sources?
For me the solution is talking about it and education. Individuals attempting to work at bringing about change is effective but when groups of individuals work together that's when society takes note and changes are made.
Like Fateful says, by educating children/youths change is happening and it is possible I believe that change will come about

[do****]

Yes educate the children please

[Kruntz]

4 hours ago, lil-monster said:

To be honest, I am fed up of seeing the constant man bashing on here in the forum. 

Or in general, definitely doesn't make me want to interact or have sympathy. 

I don't have a problem with her thoughts as an individual but there is a definite push to indoctrinate young women into this mindset. 

 

Edited May 17, 2023 by Kruntz

[do****]

4 minutes ago, Kruntz said:

Or in general, definitely doesn't make me want to interact or have sympathy. 

I don't have a problem with her thoughts as an individual but there is a definite push to indoctrinate young women into this mindset. 

 

Whose raising gender bashing babies? What planet did I land on? Where is my ship? Must abort mission now

[do****]

Just now, doubletrouble129 said:

Whose raising gender bashing babies? What planet did I land on? Where is my ship? Must abort mission now

*Who's

[ge****]

46 minutes ago, masterful said:

Which makes it anecdotal rather than scientific.

I never suggested it was in any way scientific any more so than the poster I was responding to who threw out random off the top of their head numbers to make their point.
.
However we hear daily both here and generally of the problems women face like those suggested by the OP and I am sure there probably are figures to back that up if I could be bothered to look for them - but even anecdotally it's sufficient to make some of the points raised in the OP a concern.

[ma****]

3 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I never suggested it was in any way scientific any more so than the poster I was responding to who threw out random off the top of their head numbers to make their point.
.
However we hear daily both here and generally of the problems women face like those suggested by the OP and I am sure there probably are figures to back that up if I could be bothered to look for them - but even anecdotally it's sufficient to make some of the points raised in the OP a concern.

The reality is you have no idea

[CopperKnob]

6 minutes ago, masterful said:

The reality is you have no idea

The reality is, it's something to talk about openly, transparently etc. It's not something to nitpick over. Everyone has the ability to pull up a search engine and find stats from a credible source if they were so inclined to do so.

[le****]

52 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

See, when you make comment on my lived experienced and what that's involved, is the moment I stop engaging. This is what you describe as "personal accountability" and as I have said is me not accepting unhealthy behaviours in the spaces in which I live

What I was trying to point out to you is men are dealing with alot more than online nonsense inboxing you today right now, they don't need you piling onto them as whatever your lived experiences maybe that's not their problem and doesn't give you grounds for your post or to set any silly rules for them (they already have the legal system stacked against them and the prison population and self delete population show this). you were uncomfortable in your inbox, posts like this makes more than just one person feel uncomfortable and targeted on this site and any others. Posts like yours doesn't promote discourse, comments like ' your invalidating my lived experience so I'm not engaging' isn't freedom of thought, it's think as I do or go away. And as I pointed out to another user your energy to a person shouldn't change depending on their gender or sexuality or any other thing a person has no choice about it being a part of themselves, if it does you are the real problem, that goes for everyone. I agree calling out bad behaviour, but the post didn't do that or did it very poorly. worded it very carefully so that it infact wasn't up for discussion which is typical of this kinda line of thinking when talking with total annicdotal instances, also teaching children what you suggest teaching them is the worst possible thing you could do. Leave kids out of the affairs of adults thanks. Leave the men and the boys the hell alone, you have nothing of value to share with them. If people want solutions women learn how men naturally communicate instead of always comparing how they have communicated vs how you want them to, secondly if you want to be treated well by men don't talk so horribly about them, if you want them to give you their time even though they get less years alive than we do then give them your time first. Stop putting it all over to the other side of the table, when you do it crushes the other side sure, but you better watch out for your side of the table coming up under your chin as you've been leaning over. Don't put up a half asked post you barely reply to in any detail, take time out of your day and you hit men up and ask whatever your stumped about with open communication, instead of shaming them in every social circle possible with your OPINION. Your a grown ass woman posted on this site essentially telling other men to fix the problems you've encountered from other men and in the same breath claim your equal to men when men don't do that. 😒 men do everything for themselves and don't speak out enough.

[le****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Like I said we'll have to agree to disagree otherwise the circles will continue ad infinitum.
.
I've made my points and stand by them, and whilst I respect your right to hold you opinion, I can't agree with it.
.
As for your "stats", yes the number of men CK has interacted with is a tiny percentage of the global male population - when you actually take that number and multiply it by the number of women globally saying similar things and having similar experiences to those highlighted then the number becomes a lot more significant and certainly not one to be brushed aside as you appear to be trying to do.
.
P.S. I'm wide awake, I may see things differently to you, but my eyes are wide open 😉

It still wouldn't even break 1%

[CopperKnob]

20 minutes ago, leanneandmartin said:

What I was trying to point out to you is men are dealing with alot more than online nonsense inboxing you today right now, they don't need you piling onto them as whatever your lived experiences maybe that's not their problem and doesn't give you grounds for your post or to set any silly rules for them (they already have the legal system stacked against them and the prison population and self delete population show this). you were uncomfortable in your inbox, posts like this makes more than just one person feel uncomfortable and targeted on this site and any others. Posts like yours doesn't promote discourse, comments like ' your invalidating my lived experience so I'm not engaging' isn't freedom of thought, it's think as I do or go away. And as I pointed out to another user your energy to a person shouldn't change depending on their gender or sexuality or any other thing a person has no choice about it being a part of themselves, if it does you are the real problem, that goes for everyone. I agree calling out bad behaviour, but the post didn't do that or did it very poorly. worded it very carefully so that it infact wasn't up for discussion which is typical of this kinda line of thinking when talking with total annicdotal instances, also teaching children what you suggest teaching them is the worst possible thing you could do. Leave kids out of the affairs of adults thanks. Leave the men and the boys the hell alone, you have nothing of value to share with them. If people want solutions women learn how men naturally communicate instead of always comparing how they have communicated vs how you want them to, secondly if you want to be treated well by men don't talk so horribly about them, if you want them to give you their time even though they get less years alive than we do then give them your time first. Stop putting it all over to the other side of the table, when you do it crushes the other side sure, but you better watch out for your side of the table coming up under your chin as you've been leaning over. Don't put up a half asked post you barely reply to in any detail, take time out of your day and you hit men up and ask whatever your stumped about with open communication, instead of shaming them in every social circle possible with your OPINION. Your a grown ass woman posted on this site essentially telling other men to fix the problems you've encountered from other men and in the same breath claim your equal to men when men don't do that. 😒 men do everything for themselves and don't speak out enough.

See, this post wasn't about calling men out, it was explaining my position in relation to men.
I'm glad you raised the issue of the legal system, particularly the prison population given that I spend much of my time in a male custodial setting. The Justice system/mental health system and other services do not work for any gender, not just males unless you're in a very priviliged position. It's entirely back to front. If society worked towards meeting needs, there wouldn't be such a need to respond to behaviours through unmet needs
You've clearly interpreted my perspective through your own lens, like I say, there's no problem with that but, what you've done in your comments is to dismiss my experiences (and those of others) without knowledge as to what they are and have limited that to which is in my (and others) inbox. What you've done is offer no understanding as to what all genders experience and completely dismissed it as if it's a pissing contest.
If you don't think teaching children to treat others respectfully, equally and with care then I truly do not know how to continue conversing with you because, it's actually in direct conflict with what I think you're attempting to say throughout this thread.

[Fa****]

2 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Listen, I'm always happy to talk about icecream 🍦

After the comments I’ve read I’m getting the popcorn too. I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, FatefulDestiny said:

After the comments I’ve read I’m getting the popcorn too. I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe

I've been to buy pizza, the icecreams been sitting uneaten for weeks

[do****]

6 minutes ago, FatefulDestiny said:

After the comments I’ve read I’m getting the popcorn too. I feel like I’ve entered a parallel universe

😂🤣😂🤣

[PJ****]

9 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I've been to buy pizza, the icecreams been sitting uneaten for weeks

I'm being healthy so I've had no pizza and no ice-cream and I currently hate everyone 😂😂😂

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, PJ3000 said:

I'm being healthy so I've had no pizza and no ice-cream and I currently hate everyone 😂😂😂

OMG, quick come round, I'm just back from Sainsburys and I have all the goodies!!

[Fa****]

2 hours ago, leanneandmartin said:

By making cis men follow a different set of rules because of her past experiences isn't herself treating others how she ways to be treated. I followed what she posted very closely, and loosely waving in and out by saying some men doesn't override the following comments that I gave you, it wasn't it a snippet it was a very clear complete sentence summing up to, because of my feelings cis men need to do more. And frankly it's boring, I know the point you are trying to make so ill put it all into generous numbers for everyone to follow, a generous estimation of how many makes she has had communicational contact with in her while entire life is 4000, that is 0.0001% of the male population, hardly a pressing issue or any reason for 'mistrust'. And that's not even 4000 men face to face all sexually attracted to you and trying to get some, some are family, friends, Co workers, nice platonic people so the number for mistrust is even lower but let's say its 25% creep, that's 1000 men out of 4 billion. She has no reason to be saying a single word on her post, she is not harrased, accosted, assaulted, pestered or anything by men. She's actually only met a few at most and remember we started off being generous. I hope this wakes specifically the women out there the hell up but also yourself friend.

Would you care to explain EXACTLY how you come to the conclusion that CK (or anyone else for that matter) has (or has not) been “harassed, accosted, assaulted, pestered or anything by men”??? I am genuinely curious as to how you come to this conclusion. 

Everybody in every single walk of life makes generalisations and treats others (and themselves) based on the way they’ve been interacted with in the past by the same demographic. That is human nature, can this be changed? Absolutely. Should it be changed? That is circumstance dependent. We all (effectively) work on a law of averages - if the majority of people were meet from a certain demographic treat us a specific way the law of averages states that others from that demographic will do the same. They may not but they be the exception to the rule based on the perceiving persons lived experience. It similar to our rationalisation when for example we are bitten by a dog. We become wary of all dogs. Do all dogs bite (aggressively) no but that doesn’t make us less wary until they earn out trust as they all have the POTENTIAL to bite. 

Picking up on a couple of other points, please don’t suggest that someone requires further education because of their previous experience - yes educating can change a persons point of view and help for future (back to my dog analogy - if one is aware of the scale of aggression and the VERY obvious warning signals they are unlikely to be bitten this education helps them stay safe). However the way I interpreted it was you were implying CK has no education whatsoever and is silly and naïve. Firstly this is not the case but secondly if you’re gonna call sh*t like that you’d best make darn sure that you are perfect with what you write and how you write it and that you can provide CREDIBLE references for any statements you make. 

Also please provide the reference re the world ending sooner if makes we’re wiped out than if females were. 

[PJ****]

4 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

OMG, quick come round, I'm just back from Sainsburys and I have all the goodies!!

I cant 😖 my car is off the road.. because a stupid badger walked infront of me the other night!! So currently I hate all people and badgers 😂😂

[CopperKnob]

3 minutes ago, FatefulDestiny said:

Would you care to explain EXACTLY how you come to the conclusion that CK (or anyone else for that matter) has (or has not) been “harassed, accosted, assaulted, pestered or anything by men”??? I am genuinely curious as to how you come to this conclusion. 

Everybody in every single walk of life makes generalisations and treats others (and themselves) based on the way they’ve been interacted with in the past by the same demographic. That is human nature, can this be changed? Absolutely. Should it be changed? That is circumstance dependent. We all (effectively) work on a law of averages - if the majority of people were meet from a certain demographic treat us a specific way the law of averages states that others from that demographic will do the same. They may not but they be the exception to the rule based on the perceiving persons lived experience. It similar to our rationalisation when for example we are bitten by a dog. We become wary of all dogs. Do all dogs bite (aggressively) no but that doesn’t make us less wary until they earn out trust as they all have the POTENTIAL to bite. 

Picking up on a couple of other points, please don’t suggest that someone requires further education because of their previous experience - yes educating can change a persons point of view and help for future (back to my dog analogy - if one is aware of the scale of aggression and the VERY obvious warning signals they are unlikely to be bitten this education helps them stay safe). However the way I interpreted it was you were implying CK has no education whatsoever and is silly and naïve. Firstly this is not the case but secondly if you’re gonna call sh*t like that you’d best make darn sure that you are perfect with what you write and how you write it and that you can provide CREDIBLE references for any statements you make. 

Also please provide the reference re the world ending sooner if makes we’re wiped out than if females were. 

Well firstly, I am silly. Did you not notice the knob part of my name?
Secondly, I had someone in my car today and I was both horrified and angered that they put on a seatbelt because, well I'm a really really safe driver