For years I thought that meant fetish wear was not for me. I wore the same things to kink events that I wore to goth clubs, and I looked damn good—but I felt like I was missing out on something. Over time, though, I’ve managed to build up a collection of tips, tricks and favourite garments that mean I don’t just look hot at play parties—I also look kinky.
There's more than one way to wear leather and latex. If you don't feel comfortable in garments that are entirely skintight and form-fitting, you don't have to wear them. Look out for things cut in ways that you already know suit you. Plenty of places that sell clothes like this in plus sizes have options for dresses with A-line skirts and sweetheart necklines, for example—and that's a shape that looks good on everyone. You could also try long skirts made of the traditional fetish fabrics, paired with a top made of something else. Remember too that fabrics like these are not the be all and end all of fetish wear. Sheer fabrics are incredibly flattering and incredibly sexy, and a floor-length chemise gown made of lace or fabric so light it's practically transparent looks amazing over the right underwear. Plus-size fetish wear is not a mysterious, uncharted new frontier—you already know what you look and feel good in, and you can translate that knowledge pretty well with a little effort.
If you get underwear right, you don't necessarily need a whole lot else. My standard play party attire is a 1950s-style bra, matching high-waisted knickers, a six-strap suspender belt and stockings. Over the top of it all, I usually wear some sort of low-cut, floor-length sheer black chemise that has a high thigh-split. Finish the look with winged eyeliner, red lipstick and a pair of devastatingly sexy high heels, and I look pretty incredible, even if I do say so myself. If you can find them, plus-size fetishwear stockings are a huge boon; you look a hundred times better once the tops aren't cutting into your thighs and trying to roll down. When choosing a suspender belt, make sure you get one with at least six straps—the standard four-strap ones are rubbish, especially for anyone of a larger size—and always go for metal clips over plastic ones, as they grip a lot better and won't come undone as the night wears on.
We all know by now how important it is to get a bra that fits properly - but you should also look for ones with wide back bands. These are a lot more comfortable, have a more classic look to them, and are generally a great deal more flattering for anyone who feels self-conscious. Avoid thongs unless you happen to love them. They're uncomfortable, they're dreadfully unflattering, and I don't find them anything like as sexy as a more retro full brief style. Most people also find that they feel a lot more confident in sheer fabrics and exposed underwear if they know they can keep some parts of their anatomy covered up for as long as they want to!
Road-testing an outfit before an event is often disheartening, but that's not necessarily because you don't look good in what you've chosen - it's often because you're not getting the whole picture. You can't accurately tell what you're going to look like in something until you've done your hair and makeup, put on your jewellery, and chosen the right pair of shoes. Don't let an unfinished look put you off the clothes you want to wear!
You'll have heard this before, but it's true enough to bear repeating. Looking amazing isn't about what dress size you wear, or how tall you are, or how carefully you've honed your makeup skills. If you step into a room knowing that you look incredible, everyone in that room will instinctively agree with you. Posture makes a big difference to how flattering an outfit is. You'll always look better standing up straight with your shoulders back than you will slumped and hunched over. This is true whether you're wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a shiny latex dress or absolutely nothing at all.
Abi Brown is a freelance writer and general pen-for-hire devoted to genre fiction, social justice and M.A.C lipstick.
Follow her on her website or @see_abi_write.
Images by Rob Schofield via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 license and Denis Kadackii / Dollar Photo Club
Tentacle porn… what is it and why is it??? Fetish.com wants to know and asked author Sienna Saint-Cyr to look into this sticky, appendage based
Welcome back kinksters to another deliciously knotty #MondayMasturbation! Start your week off all hot and bothered - there's plenty more where that
What's the worst BDSM punishment you can think of? Everyone has their own ideas... our #MondayMasturbation writer Kayla Lords shares her worst