Hard BDSM

Hard BDSM

For some, it's important to find ways to represent their social and emotional relationships as an inherent part of their physical form. This can be a key part in a BDSM dynamic, and for a certain kind of submissive - usually one who is highly masochistic - there's an irresistible appeal to being branded. Branding a human is much like branding an animal: a piece of sterilised metal is held in a fire till it's glowing hot, and then placed quickly onto the skin to leave a permanent scar. Many of these scars are intricate and beautiful, just like tattoos. Our one word of caution is this: don't take branding lightly, and only ever experiment with it in the company of someone who has training, experience and preferably some kind of qualification. It can be highly dangerous, and it isn't something to go into without forethought and planning. Image: Michael Hemmingsson. Flickr Creative Commons license.
There are a few different kinks that often incorporate trampling. People into feedism often enjoy being squashed, trampled or sat on by much larger partners, for example, though the more common iteration of the fetish involves a masochist who is into femme dommes and enjoys the idea of being walked over by someone who has taken control - often while they're wearing spike heels. If you'd like to experiment with this it's important to bear in mind that professionals know exactly how to trample safely, and that even the most hardcore of pros usually aren't actually putting their entire weight on their 'victim's' back. Make sure you do your research and always play safely!
There's a lot to be said for slow, sensual sex, of course, and romance certainly has its place - but sometimes you just want to get down and dirty with someone who's as rough as you are. Rough sex isn't always kinky, it could be just a rough kiss, but for many BDSM fans, it forms a vital part of their sexual lives and relationships. The beauty of it is that it usually doesn't need a lot of planning or equipment; you can rough your enthusiastic partners up pretty much anywhere, anytime and anyhow. Just remember to play with a safeword, as people don't need whips and chains to reach their limits or realise that they need to call for a time out.
Double penetration - when someone is being simultaneously penetrated in both the anus and the vagina - is an experience like no other, and can be as bonding for the two penetrators as it is for the person in the middle. It's intense, head-spinning and deeply headspace-inducing; it fits in with all manner of dynamics, and it's a way to make someone feel entirely captive and controlled while simultaneously giving them one of the most intensely pleasurable physical experiences of their lives. Just bear in mind that sensation this major can be overwhelming - start slowly, build up gradually and always be aware of where your partner is at both physically and emotionally.
Many people find that the sensation of having their ass or vagina completely filled and stretched out is a fantastic one. Fisting is pretty much what it sounds like: getting your entire hand inside someone and fucking them with it as long as they can handle. It does take practice, however, and you should be extremely careful not to hurt or damage your partner as you figure things out. Time, patience and lubricant are all essential, as is a relaxed partner who feels comfortable and is massively turned on. Many people find that having an orgasm before playing around with fisting makes things a little more straightforward, making that the perfect time to start finding out if it's for you.
Electro sex stimulation - more commonly referred to as simply 'electrosex' - refers to the use of any sex toys or kink implements that have an electrical current.The most common electrosex toy is probably the violet wand, though there are plenty of others. The one thing all electrosex toys tend to have in common is that they provide a uniquely stimulating sensation: nothing feels like them, and there's no other way to get that 'buzz'. Many of these toys are safe to use in many ways and on many parts of the body, though you must of course always read the instructions thoroughly before you begin!
Genitorture is an aspect of pain play that focuses on the genitals. CBT - or 'cock and ball torture' - is probably the most widely discussed form of genital torture, but any and all genital configurations can be tortured. Popular options include zippers made from clothes pegs and string, clamps and clips, spanking and beatings or the use of candlewax. Safety is of course doubly important in this particular area. Genitals are delicate things, and need a little extra TLC. You can play safely by discussing boundaries in advance even more than usual, paying extra attention to the submissive's pain threshold. Make it clear that communication via a safeword is often expected in a scenario like this rather than some super serious worst-case-scenario.
Blood play is actually pretty standard on the fetish scene. For some people it's mostly about the sensation; they enjoy the sweet pain in the way that others might enjoy being spanked or flogged. For others, it's more about the marks it leaves behind - scarification can be a sign of ownership or take the place of a tattoo when done with the right finesse. Since you'll be piercing the skin, however, cutting play comes with some extra risks - so be meticulous about using clean, sterilised blades, cleaning up after yourself, doing your research in advance and being as careful as possible during a session.
The vast majority of people who practice BDSM keep their fun and games strictly as a part of their sex life. There's also a significant minority of practitioners who have a kinky relationship outside of the bedroom but in a relatively subtle way; their dynamic permeates many aspects of their lives and is inherently part of who they are as a couple, but you wouldn't usually know it to look at them. A few, however, practice what is known as '24/7' - a lifestyle in which they are permanently in role and permanently overtly kinky. Couples who live this way usually have rituals, modes of address and acts of service that form parts of their daily lives. It's a reasonably rare choice IRL, but a very common fantasy for many kinksters!
Bondage and restraint is sexy and fun but what about taking it to the extreme? Water bondage combines restraint with water, upping the fear factor considerably. It is a very extreme BDSM activity and definitely calls for the use of RACK rules (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) as there is a very real risk of death when indulging in it. We’re not trying to put you off, but you need to know the dangers so you can be prepared for them, right? Water bondage can happen in a body of water (such as a bath or a pool) or can be used on someone on dry land. Remember though to do your research, know your stuff and don’t undertake this extreme kink unless you’re completely confident you know what you’re doing.
The first thing most people think of when they hear the word bondage is shibari or kinbaku. By far, the ancient Japanese practice is one of the most common and oldest types of rope bondage. With intricate knots and designs available the sky’s the limit. But don’t limit your imagination to just using rope, there are plenty of other things you can use. Many people with a latex or rubber fetish use bondage gear made from this material. Hoods, straps and cuffs are a few examples. They are a good alternative for kinksters who aren’t into leather or are vegan. Traditionally ball gags are made from rubber or silicone balls and a leather strap, but they can also be found with latex or rubber straps. The next most common bondage material is leather. Bondage gear varies from harnesses, cuffs and collars to full body suits, gimp masks and more. Leather harnesses are quite popular amongst the gay fetish scene and play well into many bondage scenes of domination and submission. If you’re in a pinch and you don’t have any of your BDSM sex toys or gear with you, or you’re new and just wanting to try it out, you can always use a scarf, belt, pair of stockings or tie to perform spontaneous bondage. Remember to always be safe when performing bondage! Always have a safeword and a pair of safety shears handy in case you need to cut your partner loose!"
Much to the disapproval of jazz singers everywhere, in fetish communities the word 'scat' (or caviar) is used to describe the act of gaining sexual gratification from shit: from watching someone produce it, from holding it in longer than is usual, from playing with it and for some people from consuming it. It's not a particularly common sexual fetish, but for those who enjoy fantasising about (or practicing) coprophilia it can be a huge turn-on. As with all things, we here at Fetish.com would like to encourage you to be safe and well-educated when you play- - so if you have a scat fetish, make sure you do your research before getting down and dirty. As you can imagine there are a few hygiene concerns to bear in mind!
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