Our Guide to Facesitting & the Power of Queening

Facesitting, or queening, is a kink that’s been in the news recently, with numerous tabloids taking a startlingly positive attitude to it. While this is all good news, we focus on the power of facesitting, either as an intense part of dominance and total submission, or just as a bit of fluffy naughty fun.

In 2014, when the UK government added facesitting to a list of sexual acts too appalling to appear in porn produced in the UK, facesitting was chosen by protesters to symbolise their defiance of restrictions on consensual kink material.

 

 

At the time, many of the practices threatened with banning were those which emphasise female pleasure, and facesitting and queening are definitely activities associated with female domination. The authorities implied that it was a safety concern, but femdom - and anything which involves women’s sexual autonomy - has always had more power to outrage and scare ‘traditionalists’

 

Fetish.com Team Insight

 

Curious to dive deeper? Queening – also known as facesitting – is a BDSM practice where the dominant partner straddles the submissive’s face, often in a sexual context. Whether you explore queening in bondage or enjoy it as a playful facesitting kink, remember: clear communication and agreed-upon safety signals are key.

 

Join the conversation – Share your queening & facesitting experiences with like-minded kinksters in our Fetish.com Forum. Connect, ask questions, and explore new ideas together. 

 

Facesitting pleasure & queening

Facesitting is a game that gives a lot of pleasure to both participants. For a pussy-worshipper, having your beloved’s juicy wet quim rubbed all over your face so you are embraced by the warmth and the wetness, the scent and the taste of her, can be absolute ecstasy. Feeling you exist only to give her pleasure, feeling owned and subjugated, also turns up the heat for many submissives. 

 

Facesitting. Image: nloik  Flickr Creative Commons
 

For the one on top, there are also hot connotations in having your sub literally beneath you, unable to get away unless and until you decide the job’s done. You can get into all those power fantasies about your cunt being the life force of the universe, and being adored as the goddess you are – if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat. Or you can just relax and enjoy a really good licking with no obligation to do anything other than take your pleasure from that ministering tongue.

How to enjoy facesitting safely in BDSM and queening play

To be fair, facesitting is one of the riskier things you can do in a BDSM scenario. It has elements of breath control and suffocation; therefore the one being sat upon needs to be able to signal discomfort in some way – tapping out is a sensible method, or perhaps pinching the sitter’s bum or thighs. There needs to be a strong element of trust, and plenty of pre-negotiation. However, that’s true of pretty much any play which involves restraint, or impact. It’s also best avoided if the one being sat on has a cold or any other breathing issues.
 

 

If you’re the one who’s going on top, take your time getting into position. It might be a hot fantasy to throw your victim down and then crash-land on that excited face, but it’s not advisable, particularly for beginners. If you’re both excited by the idea of the sat-on - one being restrained by more than just the power of your pussy - and you want to tie hands or feet, then you will need to agree another signal that can be used if a break is needed. You could leave one foot free:  three kicks against the bed/couch/floor as the equivalent of ‘Red/Amber’. Another method people opt for when the sub is gagged and immobile is to have them hold something like a bunch of keys and drop whatever it is if they need to stop.
 

Ready to find your perfect play partner? Whether you’re curious about queening in bondage or exploring the facesitting kink for the first time, meet open-minded people who share your desires.

 

 

The benefits of a Queening chair

Using a queening chair can reduce the risk further, and it can also be more comfortable for the one doing the facesitting. A queening chair, also known as a queening stool or sometimes a smother box, is a specially made piece of furniture that makes facesitting easier. They come in a variety of designs: you can get a queening chair that looks like something out of anyone’s most wonderful dark, gothic, dungeon fantasies, or you can have a bright plastic job which can be easily passed off to nosy visitors as a makeup stool.

Queening stool. Image: Mistress Anahita. Flickr Creative Commons 

In the process of researching this article, I had a chat with Squirt By Design, who make quite a range of queening chairs, and discovered that some come with wedge shapes or suspended headrests that you can adjust so that both sub and domme are in the best and most comfortable position. I also found – for those of you who are on a bit of a budget but well-equipped with practical skills – that you can go to Etsy and buy downloadable plans for building a queening chair of your own.

Keep the heat in your pocket.

Chat, match, and explore queening, facesitting, and more – wherever you are.

 

All in all, you can play this kink either as intense dominance and total submission, or just as a bit of fluffy naughty fun, depending on the dynamic you and your partner prefer.


Written by Madamez, veteran pervert, writer of erotica, top/dominant, fond of rope, impact play and experimentation. 

 

Let us know if you like facesitting and how hard you like it, whether or not you prefer a queening chair or just getting naked and going for it!

Ask Fetish.com: your kinky questions on queening & facesitting answered

What is queening in BDSM?

Queening – also known as facesitting – is a BDSM practice where the dominant partner straddles the submissive’s face, usually for oral-genital or oral-anal pleasure. In a queening fetish dynamic, it’s not just about the physical act – it’s about complete control, erotic power exchange, and worship of the dominant’s body.

Is facesitting the same as queening?

Almost.Queening usually refers to cunnilingus-focused facesitting in a femdom context, while facesitting can be any variation – including anal play. In BDSM scenes, queening is often more ritualised, with a clear goddess-and-worshipper vibe.

Why do people enjoy the facesitting kink?

Because it’s raw, intimate, and dripping with power play. For subs, being pinned under their Domme’s body – surrounded by her scent, taste, and weight – can be pure bliss. For Dommes, it’s the thrill of having their sub completely under control, taking pleasure without giving anything back unless they choose to.

What is queening in bondage play?

Queening in bondage combines facesitting with restraint – ropes, cuffs, or specialized furniture that keep the sub locked in position. It heightens the intensity, removes their ability to move, and shifts the focus entirely to the Domme’s pleasure. Always agree on non-verbal safety signals before you start.

How can I practice facesitting safely in BDSM?

• Talk first: Set boundaries and safe words.
   
• Agree on signals: For breath play, have a physical “stop” signal like tapping three times or dropping an object.
   
• Go slow: Especially for beginners – ease into the position rather than full weight straight away.
   
• Take breaks: For longer sessions, a queening chair can increase comfort and safety.

 

What is a queening chair or smotherbox?

A queening chair (or facesitting throne) is a low seat with an opening that gives the sub access to the Domme’s genitals while she sits comfortably above them. A smotherbox is a more intense piece of bondage furniture that holds the sub’s head in place – sometimes with padding, restraints, or even locks – for total immobility during play.

Can facesitting include oral-anal play?

Yes – many kinksters enjoy combining the facesitting kink with rimming or anal worship. Hygiene and consent are crucial here. Some fetish scenes go further with breath control, flatulence play, or even scat – but these are advanced kinks and require high trust and negotiation.

Is facesitting safe for everyone?

No. Anyone with breathing issues, colds, or circulatory problems should be cautious. In BDSM scenes involving restraint or breathplay, trust between partners is absolutely essential.

Is queening a common fetish?

Definitely. The queening fetish is popular worldwide in femdom and BDSM communities – from playful bedroom kink to intense professional sessions. Its mix of intimacy, dominance, and taboo keeps it high on many wishlists.

Where can I find partners into facesitting and queening?

Right here on Fetish.com. Join our forum to share your queening fantasies, explore profiles in the app, and connect with kinksters who crave the same kind of play – whether you want to be on the throne or under it.

Could Also Be Your Kink…

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• 🔗How to Reveal Your Headscissor Fetish — if you still haven’t confessed, we got your back (and your neck).