Start with someone you can truely trust. To give yourself in such a *** dynamic can be both amazing and potentially dangerous with certain kinks (breatheplay adjacent more so). With a understanding seasoned dom you can dip toes and feet into the pool so to speak. You should be discerning, save the Read more… submissiveness for the play itself or at least once youve cut through the bs of guys online and found a dom you feel comfortable too.

I typically save interactions irl until far far down the line. A good way to start may be acquiring some toys and accoutrements like outfits, plugs, supplies and then with a dom trying out into stuff and requests/tasks. For example one of my previous subs was a former ex gf that reconnected years later. We spent the summer with daily tasks and chats, eventually moving to bigger tasks and them irl things when she felt ready to see each other like that. so a daily task would be something like wearing a toy for edging for an amount of time, surrending choices with her outfit to me, when shed go to the rest room and finish one task was she would have to edge 2 mimutes afterwards and inform me of what she did. Bigger tasks were once while at her riding stable she caught the farm hand eye fucking her, she confessed how hot he was and how bad she wanted it so i tasked her gently to approach him and ask him to help her dismount next time (shes short) and sure enough she ended up letting his hands linger and she gave him a tease and touch too.

The teaching points there were I never demanded. She liked being a brat but when she did not want to perform a task she simply said so and I adjust only to offer her a more suitable task or we would drop it. Sub/Dom dynamics thrive when theres consent and trust, on the surface unexperienced or uninitiated may think its the opposites because of the fun ropes and restraints.

My ex could always say no and I know she could lie but we had built ourselves up over time and we were in it for eachother not for the pure physocal/visual. Like if you're just superficially horny as a guy go jerk off, being a dom or domming someone isnt for a quick release. Its a relationship on a deeper level with plenty of visuals and physicality but its the control/trust that sits beneath it all. So when your on your knees, eyes watering, the sting and burning while you take more, its the knowing you could just let go and youll still cum out alive after surrendering and serving. Best of luck tho kitten! Be safe